warning, his hand leaves my wrist and dives between my legs. I gasp, not knowing what to do with this sudden intrusion. The grasping and fondling. The lust I’m feeling.
“Can you feel how wet you are? How much of a dirty girl you really are? You definitely enjoyed that a little too much. Does that frighten you?”
I’m too shocked at my own emotions and at what’s going on to move. I can’t even answer his questions. His hand slides out again, my dampness all over his finger. He brings it to his nose and smells it. “Your scent arouses me, Miss Carrigan.”
“You’re disgusting,” I murmur, but it pains me to say it. It’s my conscience speaking.
“Oh, really? Is that your opinion now? And here I was, thinking you wanted me for being a knight in shining armor. I guess that fantasy is shattered now.” He brings his finger to his mouth and licks the tip, dipping out his tongue completely. My eyes follow his tongue as it flicks around his finger, my lip quivering from the thought of what he could do with it. What it could do to me.
“I could fulfill a different fantasy, however. Hmmm … I could eat you right here, right now, if I wanted to.”
“If you got my permission, that is,” I scoff.
He lets go off my wrist, his hand drifting down my arm, down my body, invading every pore in my body with his arousal. “I don’t ask for permission.”
“You would do such a thing? Take me against my will?” I lower my arms, but they mysteriously wrap themselves around his neck instead of hitting him and making a run for it.
It seems my lusty brain has taken over completely.
“You have no idea what I’m capable of, Miss Carrigan. Which is exactly why I told you that you don’t know me, and that I am not who you’re looking for. I’m a bad person, Miss Carrigan. You’re looking for an angel who doesn’t exist.”
“I don’t believe it.”
His demeanor suddenly changes. He squints, moving closer, towering over me like some dominating man who craves control. “You should. I do bad things to people, Miss, very bad things. I’m not a good man. I’m not someone you want, someone you need; I’m someone you run away from. So run. Get out of here.”
I shake my head, trembling in place.
He fake-bites in the air. Startled, I move back an inch, my hands dropping to my side.
“See? You are scared. Don’t deny it.”
I swallow. “I’m not.”
“Liar. You know, I can tell from the way you’re trembling. Be scared. Be terrified of me. Because all this, what I just did, making you watch my jerk-off session … was a warning.” He looms over me like someone who’d rather see me in pain than have mercy. “Was the spanking not enough for you to fear me?”
“No …” I whisper.
“There are worse things I can do than that. It was only a fraction of the pain I could inflict. The worst is the part where it hits you in the heart. I’m trying to spare you that misery.” He grabs my shoulders. “Now go. Get out. Leave. Me. Alone.”
Tears spring into my eyes. “You’re cruel …”
He sighs, then nods as he lets go of me completely. “If only you knew.”
His words shake me to my core. He doesn’t want me at all. I’m just a toy he used for his own amusement. Even when he says he doesn’t know me, he still abuses the power he has over me. The fact that I want him is my weakness, and he exploits that.
Why? What does he want? What does he gain from chasing me away?
Regardless, I walk. I have to leave, have to get out of this place. I can barely breathe. My legs start running, and soon they are chasing the ghost of a man I once knew.
Accompanying song: “ Arsonists Lullabye” by Hozier
Room 54. Providence, Rhode Island – April 27 th , 2013
I grab a plastic bag and some paper and start picking up the leftovers from last night. There’s lots of spilled food on the floor, and it smells rancid. A plastic cap in front of my mouth won’t hold back the
“Can you feel how wet you are? How much of a dirty girl you really are? You definitely enjoyed that a little too much. Does that frighten you?”
I’m too shocked at my own emotions and at what’s going on to move. I can’t even answer his questions. His hand slides out again, my dampness all over his finger. He brings it to his nose and smells it. “Your scent arouses me, Miss Carrigan.”
“You’re disgusting,” I murmur, but it pains me to say it. It’s my conscience speaking.
“Oh, really? Is that your opinion now? And here I was, thinking you wanted me for being a knight in shining armor. I guess that fantasy is shattered now.” He brings his finger to his mouth and licks the tip, dipping out his tongue completely. My eyes follow his tongue as it flicks around his finger, my lip quivering from the thought of what he could do with it. What it could do to me.
“I could fulfill a different fantasy, however. Hmmm … I could eat you right here, right now, if I wanted to.”
“If you got my permission, that is,” I scoff.
He lets go off my wrist, his hand drifting down my arm, down my body, invading every pore in my body with his arousal. “I don’t ask for permission.”
“You would do such a thing? Take me against my will?” I lower my arms, but they mysteriously wrap themselves around his neck instead of hitting him and making a run for it.
It seems my lusty brain has taken over completely.
“You have no idea what I’m capable of, Miss Carrigan. Which is exactly why I told you that you don’t know me, and that I am not who you’re looking for. I’m a bad person, Miss Carrigan. You’re looking for an angel who doesn’t exist.”
“I don’t believe it.”
His demeanor suddenly changes. He squints, moving closer, towering over me like some dominating man who craves control. “You should. I do bad things to people, Miss, very bad things. I’m not a good man. I’m not someone you want, someone you need; I’m someone you run away from. So run. Get out of here.”
I shake my head, trembling in place.
He fake-bites in the air. Startled, I move back an inch, my hands dropping to my side.
“See? You are scared. Don’t deny it.”
I swallow. “I’m not.”
“Liar. You know, I can tell from the way you’re trembling. Be scared. Be terrified of me. Because all this, what I just did, making you watch my jerk-off session … was a warning.” He looms over me like someone who’d rather see me in pain than have mercy. “Was the spanking not enough for you to fear me?”
“No …” I whisper.
“There are worse things I can do than that. It was only a fraction of the pain I could inflict. The worst is the part where it hits you in the heart. I’m trying to spare you that misery.” He grabs my shoulders. “Now go. Get out. Leave. Me. Alone.”
Tears spring into my eyes. “You’re cruel …”
He sighs, then nods as he lets go of me completely. “If only you knew.”
His words shake me to my core. He doesn’t want me at all. I’m just a toy he used for his own amusement. Even when he says he doesn’t know me, he still abuses the power he has over me. The fact that I want him is my weakness, and he exploits that.
Why? What does he want? What does he gain from chasing me away?
Regardless, I walk. I have to leave, have to get out of this place. I can barely breathe. My legs start running, and soon they are chasing the ghost of a man I once knew.
Accompanying song: “ Arsonists Lullabye” by Hozier
Room 54. Providence, Rhode Island – April 27 th , 2013
I grab a plastic bag and some paper and start picking up the leftovers from last night. There’s lots of spilled food on the floor, and it smells rancid. A plastic cap in front of my mouth won’t hold back the
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