raises his free hand into a fist and swings to hit her again.
I grab his hand, and shout, “Stop! You’re going to kill her!”
He just laughs and pushes me to the side. “If only I could be so damn lucky,” he snarls. I shove him away from her, and he turns his fist to me as she falls to the ground with a sickening thud. He punches me in the stomach and grabs me by the throat cutting off the oxygen to my lungs. He tightens his hold on my throat, and I begin gasping for air. I feel my body becoming weak, and I know I’m going to pass out if I don’t do something. Panicking, I start kicking and hitting him anywhere I can. He loosens his grip and starts throwing punches across my body. I duck my head and aim for his waist. I ram my head into his abdomen and carry him across the room, slamming him into the refrigerator. When he gets his footing, he starts coming for me again. I clench my hand into a fist and slam it into his chin. His head is thrown back, and he loses his balance, weaving sideways. When he begins to stagger back, he takes a hard fall. His head crashes into the corner of the kitchen table with a thunderous crack.
I stand there stunned as I watch the life drift right out of his body. Blood pours out of the back of his head, and his eyes are wide open, staring at the ceiling… marking me.
I can’t even move. It’s like my feet have been cemented to the floor. I just keep watching him, expecting him to get up and drag me down to hell with him. I don’t know how long I stand like that. I can’t say, but I hear my mother’s sad whimpers. It jolts me into action. She is lying in the corner of the room. I rush to her side. It’s obvious that she is struggling to breathe.
Her eyes meet mine, and she whispers, “I’m sorry, Noah. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s going to be okay, Mom. I have to call for help,” I tell her.
“I love you, son,” she says so low I can barely hear her. Her eyes begin to close and somehow I know. I just know she’s slipping away. I hold her tightly to me, rocking back and forth.
I’m fighting with myself to wake up. I can’t take anymore. I need to wake up. “I love you, son.” I keep hearing my mother’s last words over and over. When I’m finally able to pull myself from the nightmare, I jerk up in bed. I’m drenched in sweat and my heart is racing. Taylor doesn’t wake up as I ease my way out of the bed. She’s lying there so peaceful, so innocent. I shouldn’t be tainting her with my touch. She deserves better than this. She has no idea what a monster I really am. I know she thinks she wants to be with me, but she doesn’t even know who I really am.
Looking at her hurts me. I can’t stay. She’s sleeping soundly as I pull on my clothes and walk out the door. I know that if I let myself, I’ll just take her again, dragging her down even further.
Seems all I do is hurt her. I messed things up again last night. I let my own selfish hunger for her overrule my better judgment. There’s no way I can drag Taylor into my shit. She deserves better than that. Me? I’ve never been anything but twisted up and worthless. She doesn’t need me suffocating her in the darkness that has marked me. Taylor is light, she’s all good things--- way too good for me.
I ended up taking a ride out to the cliffs. I had taken Taylor there years ago. I couldn’t help thinking about that first kiss we shared. There was so much hope in her eyes that day. I hated hurting her like I did, but I didn’t see any other way.
I called Bishop and volunteered to go on a run. He had a couple of cars that needed to be picked up, and I told him I’d go with Otis to make sure everything went okay. I could tell he was suspicious of my offer, but he didn’t give me a hard time about it. He learned a long time ago to stay out of his brothers’ personal lives. I respected that about him.
I needed to say goodbye to Taylor before I left on my trip, but she was already gone
I grab his hand, and shout, “Stop! You’re going to kill her!”
He just laughs and pushes me to the side. “If only I could be so damn lucky,” he snarls. I shove him away from her, and he turns his fist to me as she falls to the ground with a sickening thud. He punches me in the stomach and grabs me by the throat cutting off the oxygen to my lungs. He tightens his hold on my throat, and I begin gasping for air. I feel my body becoming weak, and I know I’m going to pass out if I don’t do something. Panicking, I start kicking and hitting him anywhere I can. He loosens his grip and starts throwing punches across my body. I duck my head and aim for his waist. I ram my head into his abdomen and carry him across the room, slamming him into the refrigerator. When he gets his footing, he starts coming for me again. I clench my hand into a fist and slam it into his chin. His head is thrown back, and he loses his balance, weaving sideways. When he begins to stagger back, he takes a hard fall. His head crashes into the corner of the kitchen table with a thunderous crack.
I stand there stunned as I watch the life drift right out of his body. Blood pours out of the back of his head, and his eyes are wide open, staring at the ceiling… marking me.
I can’t even move. It’s like my feet have been cemented to the floor. I just keep watching him, expecting him to get up and drag me down to hell with him. I don’t know how long I stand like that. I can’t say, but I hear my mother’s sad whimpers. It jolts me into action. She is lying in the corner of the room. I rush to her side. It’s obvious that she is struggling to breathe.
Her eyes meet mine, and she whispers, “I’m sorry, Noah. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s going to be okay, Mom. I have to call for help,” I tell her.
“I love you, son,” she says so low I can barely hear her. Her eyes begin to close and somehow I know. I just know she’s slipping away. I hold her tightly to me, rocking back and forth.
I’m fighting with myself to wake up. I can’t take anymore. I need to wake up. “I love you, son.” I keep hearing my mother’s last words over and over. When I’m finally able to pull myself from the nightmare, I jerk up in bed. I’m drenched in sweat and my heart is racing. Taylor doesn’t wake up as I ease my way out of the bed. She’s lying there so peaceful, so innocent. I shouldn’t be tainting her with my touch. She deserves better than this. She has no idea what a monster I really am. I know she thinks she wants to be with me, but she doesn’t even know who I really am.
Looking at her hurts me. I can’t stay. She’s sleeping soundly as I pull on my clothes and walk out the door. I know that if I let myself, I’ll just take her again, dragging her down even further.
Seems all I do is hurt her. I messed things up again last night. I let my own selfish hunger for her overrule my better judgment. There’s no way I can drag Taylor into my shit. She deserves better than that. Me? I’ve never been anything but twisted up and worthless. She doesn’t need me suffocating her in the darkness that has marked me. Taylor is light, she’s all good things--- way too good for me.
I ended up taking a ride out to the cliffs. I had taken Taylor there years ago. I couldn’t help thinking about that first kiss we shared. There was so much hope in her eyes that day. I hated hurting her like I did, but I didn’t see any other way.
I called Bishop and volunteered to go on a run. He had a couple of cars that needed to be picked up, and I told him I’d go with Otis to make sure everything went okay. I could tell he was suspicious of my offer, but he didn’t give me a hard time about it. He learned a long time ago to stay out of his brothers’ personal lives. I respected that about him.
I needed to say goodbye to Taylor before I left on my trip, but she was already gone
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