Slow Getting Up: A Story of NFL Survival from the Bottom of the Pile by Nate Jackson
Authors: Nate Jackson
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NFL team is a massive undertaking. Flip has three full-time assistants: Kenny, Harry, and Jason. They are some of the hardest workers in the building. Tennis shoes, cleats, sandals, socks, shorts, girdles, jockstraps, knee pads, thigh pads, practice pants, game pants, sweats, T-shirts, practice jerseys, game jerseys, gloves, elbow pads, sweatshirts, hats, beanies, jackets, wrist bands, rib pads, shoulder pads, neck rolls, chin straps, mouthpieces, face masks, and the tip of the spear: the helmet. Not only do they give us this equipment, they also keep it clean and shiny. Every single tool of the trade goes through Flip and his boys. Even sunflower seeds. They’re good friends to have.
Then Ken, the video director, takes the podium. Every practice is filmed from two angles: the sideline and the end zone. The two angles are spliced together back-to-back. With the advancement of computer technology, the viewing of film has become very specialized. Ken and his staff are at the forefront. Any game played by any team in any year can be pulled up in an instant, with ungodly permutations of specific plays.
—Hey, Ken, could you make me a DVD with every one of Randy Moss’s red-zone pass plays from week four to week eight of 2001?
—Sure thing, Nate. Come by later today and we’ll have that for you.
The only thing we can’t do is take home DVDs of our own practices: just in case they fall into the wrong hands.
Then our head strength coach, Rich Tuten, who strongly resembles Sergeant Slaughter without the hat. Rich stands barrel-chested at the podium and unfolds a piece of paper, eliciting snickers from the gallery. He introduces Greg Saporta, his assistant. Greg’s also known as “Crime,” as in McGruff the Crime Dog, for his aggressively strict eye on the off-season conditioning program. Crime’s head is freshly shaved with a straight razor. He smiles only if he absolutely has to. Then Rich lists the players who have earned a perfect attendance record during the off-season conditioning program. Rod’s name is read for the twelfth straight season. He’s Rich’s model student—he wasn’t drafted coming out of college, and he spent his first year on the practice squad. Bobby must have thought he was a piece of shit.
Then Coach introduces local TV personality Reggie Rivers. Reggie was a Broncos running back in the 1990s who now works for CBS, the main Broncos affiliate. Reggie takes the podium and sums up the local media. The Rocky Mountain News and the Denver Post are competing newspapers. He rattles off the names of the competing television and radio stations. All of them, he says, are running the same stories and trying to find ways to set themselves apart. His presentation amounts to a list of dos and don’ts when dealing with these hacks. He cues up a film and shows us examples. Do say: We’re taking this thing one game at a time and we’ll see what happens. Don’t say: Man, I really would like to go home and eat a heroin sandwich.
T he next morning we’re back into the crush of training camp and Champ’s giving us fits. With pads on, his physical dominance is on full display. He’s an excellent cover corner. He’s in his physical prime. He’s smart and tough. But where he excels the most is on the line of scrimmage. We can’t get off his press. He jams us at the line as soon as the ball is snapped. But I love it, because I know that there’s no one in the world better than Champ. Hence the name.
I’m in good football shape from being in Germany. My body feels fine. My knee’s healed. My pinkie’s crooked, but oh well. The only thing bothering me, except for the typical early training camp agony, are the terrible blisters that Champ is indirectly causing to bubble on my feet. All of the friction and combustive energy I push through my body comes out through the balls of my feet and my big toe. After the first day of camp, my feet are hamburger meat. They get worse and worse with every practice,
Then Ken, the video director, takes the podium. Every practice is filmed from two angles: the sideline and the end zone. The two angles are spliced together back-to-back. With the advancement of computer technology, the viewing of film has become very specialized. Ken and his staff are at the forefront. Any game played by any team in any year can be pulled up in an instant, with ungodly permutations of specific plays.
—Hey, Ken, could you make me a DVD with every one of Randy Moss’s red-zone pass plays from week four to week eight of 2001?
—Sure thing, Nate. Come by later today and we’ll have that for you.
The only thing we can’t do is take home DVDs of our own practices: just in case they fall into the wrong hands.
Then our head strength coach, Rich Tuten, who strongly resembles Sergeant Slaughter without the hat. Rich stands barrel-chested at the podium and unfolds a piece of paper, eliciting snickers from the gallery. He introduces Greg Saporta, his assistant. Greg’s also known as “Crime,” as in McGruff the Crime Dog, for his aggressively strict eye on the off-season conditioning program. Crime’s head is freshly shaved with a straight razor. He smiles only if he absolutely has to. Then Rich lists the players who have earned a perfect attendance record during the off-season conditioning program. Rod’s name is read for the twelfth straight season. He’s Rich’s model student—he wasn’t drafted coming out of college, and he spent his first year on the practice squad. Bobby must have thought he was a piece of shit.
Then Coach introduces local TV personality Reggie Rivers. Reggie was a Broncos running back in the 1990s who now works for CBS, the main Broncos affiliate. Reggie takes the podium and sums up the local media. The Rocky Mountain News and the Denver Post are competing newspapers. He rattles off the names of the competing television and radio stations. All of them, he says, are running the same stories and trying to find ways to set themselves apart. His presentation amounts to a list of dos and don’ts when dealing with these hacks. He cues up a film and shows us examples. Do say: We’re taking this thing one game at a time and we’ll see what happens. Don’t say: Man, I really would like to go home and eat a heroin sandwich.
T he next morning we’re back into the crush of training camp and Champ’s giving us fits. With pads on, his physical dominance is on full display. He’s an excellent cover corner. He’s in his physical prime. He’s smart and tough. But where he excels the most is on the line of scrimmage. We can’t get off his press. He jams us at the line as soon as the ball is snapped. But I love it, because I know that there’s no one in the world better than Champ. Hence the name.
I’m in good football shape from being in Germany. My body feels fine. My knee’s healed. My pinkie’s crooked, but oh well. The only thing bothering me, except for the typical early training camp agony, are the terrible blisters that Champ is indirectly causing to bubble on my feet. All of the friction and combustive energy I push through my body comes out through the balls of my feet and my big toe. After the first day of camp, my feet are hamburger meat. They get worse and worse with every practice,
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