answered on a night like this," she said. "Emotion rules tonight. But the choice of a spouse is a serious business, is it not?"
"Is it?" he asked softly. It was something he had not thought about, for years, at least.
"Marriage is for life," she said. "I have always been determined not to choose hastily and not to allow my hand to be forced. It is very easy to fall in love, I believe. It is a highly emotional state. I am not so sure it is as easy tolove ."
"Love does not involve the emotions, then?" he asked her with a smile.
"It is notruled by them," she told him. "Love is liking and companionship and respect and trust. Love does not dominate or try to possess. Love thrives only in a commitment to pure, mutual freedom. That is why marriage is so tricky. There are the marriage ceremony and the marriage vows and the necessity for fidelity-all of them suggestive of restraints, even imprisonment. Men talk of life sentences and leg shackles in connection with marriage, do they not? But marriage ought to be just the opposite-two people agreeing to set each other free."
"Many married gentlemen with their mistresses and married ladies with their cicisbeos would applaud your opinion,chérie, " he said.
But she looked at him gravely. "You have not understood," she said. "Anyone who does not intend to keep sacred vows should not make them. Married couples should set each other free to live and learn and find personal fulfillment. They are not two sides of a coin or two halves of a soul. They are two precious individual souls who have joined their freedoms to make something more glorious, more challenging, of their lives."
He was not sure whether to think her foolishly idealistic or wisely mystical. But hewas fascinated by her. He had not expected that they would have a conversation like this tonight of all nights.
"You wish to love the man you will marry in this grand way, then,chérie ?" he asked her.
"Yes." She looked directly at him again. "I do not need to marry for money or position, Lord Rosthorn, or even for security. I would rather wait another five or ten years-or even forever-than marry the wrong man. Though I would hope the wait is not forever."
Would the typical very young lady make much of a distinction between being in love and loving? he wondered. Would many ladies of any age state categorically that love and possessiveness could not exist together? He had not even made that leap of understanding himself. She was right, though, was she not? Would there be so many unhappy marriages if therewere no such distinctions?
"It is a tradition with my family," she explained, "that love be the guiding force of our marriages. Our men are not expected to employ mistresses after they are wed." Her direct gaze did not waver. "They are expected to love their wives and remain true to them. The expectation applies to Bedwyn women too."
He smiled. "And are any of your brothers and sisters married?" he asked. She had mentioned a sister-in-law once, he seemed to recall.
"Three," she said.
"The Duke of Bewcastle is one of them?" he asked. He had not heard of Bewcastle's marrying. But how would he have heard it? He was not up-to-date on all British news and gossip despite these weeks he had spent in Brussels becoming reacquainted with several old friends and acquaintances.
"No." She shook her head. "Aidan is married and so are Rannulf and Freyja-all last year."
"And they were all love matches?" he asked.
"They are now," she said with conviction. "Rannulf and Judith have a new son."
Had Bewcastle loved Marianne? Gervase wondered suddenly. Had he been prepared to love her all his life? To remain faithful to her? He doubted it. It had always seemed to him that Bewcastle was incapable of love.
"And you do not love young Gordon as you would wish to love a husband?" he asked her. "And yet you did not say no to him tonight?"
"I did not quite say yes either," she told him, "but I doubt he noticed. I will have to say a firm no when
"Is it?" he asked softly. It was something he had not thought about, for years, at least.
"Marriage is for life," she said. "I have always been determined not to choose hastily and not to allow my hand to be forced. It is very easy to fall in love, I believe. It is a highly emotional state. I am not so sure it is as easy tolove ."
"Love does not involve the emotions, then?" he asked her with a smile.
"It is notruled by them," she told him. "Love is liking and companionship and respect and trust. Love does not dominate or try to possess. Love thrives only in a commitment to pure, mutual freedom. That is why marriage is so tricky. There are the marriage ceremony and the marriage vows and the necessity for fidelity-all of them suggestive of restraints, even imprisonment. Men talk of life sentences and leg shackles in connection with marriage, do they not? But marriage ought to be just the opposite-two people agreeing to set each other free."
"Many married gentlemen with their mistresses and married ladies with their cicisbeos would applaud your opinion,chérie, " he said.
But she looked at him gravely. "You have not understood," she said. "Anyone who does not intend to keep sacred vows should not make them. Married couples should set each other free to live and learn and find personal fulfillment. They are not two sides of a coin or two halves of a soul. They are two precious individual souls who have joined their freedoms to make something more glorious, more challenging, of their lives."
He was not sure whether to think her foolishly idealistic or wisely mystical. But hewas fascinated by her. He had not expected that they would have a conversation like this tonight of all nights.
"You wish to love the man you will marry in this grand way, then,chérie ?" he asked her.
"Yes." She looked directly at him again. "I do not need to marry for money or position, Lord Rosthorn, or even for security. I would rather wait another five or ten years-or even forever-than marry the wrong man. Though I would hope the wait is not forever."
Would the typical very young lady make much of a distinction between being in love and loving? he wondered. Would many ladies of any age state categorically that love and possessiveness could not exist together? He had not even made that leap of understanding himself. She was right, though, was she not? Would there be so many unhappy marriages if therewere no such distinctions?
"It is a tradition with my family," she explained, "that love be the guiding force of our marriages. Our men are not expected to employ mistresses after they are wed." Her direct gaze did not waver. "They are expected to love their wives and remain true to them. The expectation applies to Bedwyn women too."
He smiled. "And are any of your brothers and sisters married?" he asked. She had mentioned a sister-in-law once, he seemed to recall.
"Three," she said.
"The Duke of Bewcastle is one of them?" he asked. He had not heard of Bewcastle's marrying. But how would he have heard it? He was not up-to-date on all British news and gossip despite these weeks he had spent in Brussels becoming reacquainted with several old friends and acquaintances.
"No." She shook her head. "Aidan is married and so are Rannulf and Freyja-all last year."
"And they were all love matches?" he asked.
"They are now," she said with conviction. "Rannulf and Judith have a new son."
Had Bewcastle loved Marianne? Gervase wondered suddenly. Had he been prepared to love her all his life? To remain faithful to her? He doubted it. It had always seemed to him that Bewcastle was incapable of love.
"And you do not love young Gordon as you would wish to love a husband?" he asked her. "And yet you did not say no to him tonight?"
"I did not quite say yes either," she told him, "but I doubt he noticed. I will have to say a firm no when
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