Reasonably well dressed. Too L.L. Bean for my taste. Confident type. Handsome, I suppose, if you like your looks rugged. Or should I say craggy? He won’t age well. His hair’s probably got, oh, another year or so before it starts falling out. And I detected the beginnings of a potbelly under his suit. My guess — too much beer. Of course, the sensitive mouth won’t change, but if he doesn’t take care of his teeth, he could be looking at a false set before you know it. Oh, and I believe his name is Nathan Buckridge.”
She banged him on the arm. “What’s going on? You’re having me followed by some sleazy private eye?”
“The only sleazy eyes that were following you were Nathan’s. What the hell is that guy to you?”
She was caught. Yesterday she’d wanted to tell him that his theory about old boyfriends never dying had once again proved accurate. And yet this morning she would have preferred to drop the entire subject. She needed more time to think about how to tell him she’d bumped into her first love. Not that Bram was the kind of man to feel threatened by an old boyfriend. Still, she wanted to break it to him gently, just in case.
“I’m waiting,” he said, chewing his bacon. “He’s a guy —”
“A guy. Good. Keep going.”
“I knew him a long time ago. When I was in high school. He was a couple of years older than me. We dated. And, well, he followed me out to California.”
“Was he part of your church?”
“No.” She sighed. “He hated the church. If it hadn’t been for that…” She stopped, looking down at the toast in her hand.
“You seem to be having a hard time telling this story, Soph. I wonder why. I’m a big boy, you know. I realize you had a life before you met me.”
Brushing a lock of hair away from his forehead, she said, “He wanted to marry me.”
“And how did you feel about him?”
“I loved him. Very much. But we couldn’t be together. I’d made a commitment to a different kind of life.”
“The Church of the Firstborn.”
She nodded.
“He must have been pretty angry.”
“He was.”
“And what about you?”
Again she hesitated. “Giving him up was … difficult.”
Bram tossed the half-eaten bacon back on the plate. “So what we have here is a case of unrequited love — on both your parts. A fairly combustible situation. Is he married?”
She shook her head.
“I don’t suppose, in the interim between the time you last saw him and now, he’s discovered he’s gay.”
She smiled. “No such luck. But look, Bram, I don’t have any feelings for him anymore. I was just a girl the last time I saw him. More important, I’m happy with my life now, and I happen to be very much in love with my husband.”
“That’s good to hear.”
“It’s the truth.”
He drew her to him, kissing the top of her head. “Well, if it’s not, all I can say is, you were pretty convincing last night in bed.”
“It wasn’t a performance.”
He stroked her arm. “How long is this Buckridge character going to be in town?”
“No idea.”
“Are you planning to see him again?”
She knew he wasn’t going to like her answer. “Actually, I agreed to meet him for lunch on Monday.”
“Ah. Love in the afternoon.”
“Bram!”
He held up his hand. “I know, I know. But you’d tell me if… if anything changed for you, right?”
“Nothing’s going to change.” She hoped with all her might that she was telling the truth. “Nothing’s changed for you, has it? I mean, I’m still your one and only.”
“Forever and ever, Sophie.”
She smiled, laying her head back against his shoulder. Unfortunately, she’d lived long enough to know that sometimes forever had a way of dissolving into nevermore. But she was determined that it wasn’t going to be that way for them. Bram was the man she wanted to
She banged him on the arm. “What’s going on? You’re having me followed by some sleazy private eye?”
“The only sleazy eyes that were following you were Nathan’s. What the hell is that guy to you?”
She was caught. Yesterday she’d wanted to tell him that his theory about old boyfriends never dying had once again proved accurate. And yet this morning she would have preferred to drop the entire subject. She needed more time to think about how to tell him she’d bumped into her first love. Not that Bram was the kind of man to feel threatened by an old boyfriend. Still, she wanted to break it to him gently, just in case.
“I’m waiting,” he said, chewing his bacon. “He’s a guy —”
“A guy. Good. Keep going.”
“I knew him a long time ago. When I was in high school. He was a couple of years older than me. We dated. And, well, he followed me out to California.”
“Was he part of your church?”
“No.” She sighed. “He hated the church. If it hadn’t been for that…” She stopped, looking down at the toast in her hand.
“You seem to be having a hard time telling this story, Soph. I wonder why. I’m a big boy, you know. I realize you had a life before you met me.”
Brushing a lock of hair away from his forehead, she said, “He wanted to marry me.”
“And how did you feel about him?”
“I loved him. Very much. But we couldn’t be together. I’d made a commitment to a different kind of life.”
“The Church of the Firstborn.”
She nodded.
“He must have been pretty angry.”
“He was.”
“And what about you?”
Again she hesitated. “Giving him up was … difficult.”
Bram tossed the half-eaten bacon back on the plate. “So what we have here is a case of unrequited love — on both your parts. A fairly combustible situation. Is he married?”
She shook her head.
“I don’t suppose, in the interim between the time you last saw him and now, he’s discovered he’s gay.”
She smiled. “No such luck. But look, Bram, I don’t have any feelings for him anymore. I was just a girl the last time I saw him. More important, I’m happy with my life now, and I happen to be very much in love with my husband.”
“That’s good to hear.”
“It’s the truth.”
He drew her to him, kissing the top of her head. “Well, if it’s not, all I can say is, you were pretty convincing last night in bed.”
“It wasn’t a performance.”
He stroked her arm. “How long is this Buckridge character going to be in town?”
“No idea.”
“Are you planning to see him again?”
She knew he wasn’t going to like her answer. “Actually, I agreed to meet him for lunch on Monday.”
“Ah. Love in the afternoon.”
“Bram!”
He held up his hand. “I know, I know. But you’d tell me if… if anything changed for you, right?”
“Nothing’s going to change.” She hoped with all her might that she was telling the truth. “Nothing’s changed for you, has it? I mean, I’m still your one and only.”
“Forever and ever, Sophie.”
She smiled, laying her head back against his shoulder. Unfortunately, she’d lived long enough to know that sometimes forever had a way of dissolving into nevermore. But she was determined that it wasn’t going to be that way for them. Bram was the man she wanted to
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