Sleepless Knights

Sleepless Knights by Mark Williams

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Authors: Mark Williams
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of your challenge, including terms, conditions and expiry date, to Geraint here, and we will fit you in — Geraint, when is the first available time slot?”
    â€œDay after tomorrow, between the indoor falconry and the love poems of Sir Tristram,” said Geraint, consulting his notice board.
    The Green Knight reached behind his massive back and produced a double-bladed axe, which he hefted from hand to hand. “If this be a jest, butler, then it is a feeble one, and may prove to be your last. Do you expect
me
to
wait
?”
    â€œNo, not at all.”
    â€œGood.”
    â€œYou misunderstand me, Sir Green Knight.”
    â€œThat’s more like it.”
    â€œI do not
expect
you to wait,” I said. “You
will
wait.”
    A growl started to rumble in the depths of his throat. The Green Knight raised himself up to full height. He swung the axe back over his shoulder. The weapon whistled through the air and halted a sword’s width from my neck. I knew the distance to be the width of a sword, because that was precisely what had stopped the Green Knight’s axe in itspath. My sword. The Green Knight gave a startled cry at the sudden appearance of the blade. He lowered his weapon.
    â€œHa!” he cried, and clapped me on the shoulder. “This is no mere butler, eh Gatekeeper? Then wait I shall. But not for long, mark you. Now, where is this ale?”
    â€œThe Reception Pavilion is located in the second courtyard to your left,” I said. “Ask for Granville the Brewer. I highly recommend the cask honey beer.”
    The Green Knight stomped out and Geraint fairly shook with relief. “Phe-eew. Thanks for that, Mr L! I tell you what, I’ve seen it all this morning. One woman was in here earlier, convinced her baby boy’s gonna find a magic cauldron that’ll bring eternal glory to Camelot. Insisted she present him and his so-called ‘Grail Quest’ before the King.”
    â€œI hope you set her straight, Geraint.”
    â€œCertainly did. Told her to wait until he could walk, at least. She didn’t like that. Kept going on about how it was her precious Perceval’s destiny, written in the stars. If you ask me, there’s so much written in the stars you could pretty much read anything in ’em. I’ve just started omens in my magic studies, bad ones and good ones, and how to tell the difference, like.”
    â€œWhat you do in your own time is none of my business, Geraint. I would appreciate it if we could stick to professional matters.”
    â€œRight you are, Mr L.”
    â€œHas there been any reduction in the number of arrivals since yesterday?”
    â€œAn increase, if anything! Already this morning we’ve had Sir Uwaine, Baron Sagramour, Sir Meliot, Baron Bagdemagus and Sir Partridge from the Kingdom of Pear Tree. No, I made that last one up. But here’s the thing — Sagramour and Bagdemagus both said they were here to see Mordred knighted. That’ll be the day, I said! That Red Knightvanquishing was a set-up if ever there was one, and if they had any sense they’d bet their family gold on Gawain being a Sir before sundown. Well, we had a few words over that, but it ended with them insisting point blank to be put straight into the West Wing.”
    â€œI see. Where are they now?”
    â€œWith Mordred. I was all for letting them wait outside until I’d squared it with you, but he said he was dealing with it on the King’s behalf. But I thought Sags and Bags were on the list of Banned Barons?”
    â€œYou thought correctly, Geraint. The West Wing is being cleared this morning for emergency accommodation, but priority will be given to those who got here before them. Make a list of all the guests so far and give me a copy by noon.”
    â€œWill do. But now, what about the horses? We’re having a hell of a time finding room, it’s nose to tail out there. If only Merlin were still

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