Sky on Fire by Emmy Laybourne Page B

cutting open and it was the guy with the loader who was in Astrid’s belly.
    And then Astrid was whispering on my neck.
    â€œWake up,” she said.
    She was in my berth.
    I shook my head awake.
    I wasn’t dreaming it—she was really there.
    â€œWhat is it?” I asked. My heart was hammering wildly. Was it the wall? Jesus, we should have been watching the wall!
    â€œI just want to talk to you,” she told me.
    She had a pen-size flashlight pointed at the floor.
    I saw she was wearing pink pajamas and had bare feet. She was shivering and she looked so beautiful I thought my heart might stop.
    *   *   *
    We went out to the Kitchen to talk.
    I grabbed a fleece for myself and a sweater I’d worn a few times for her.
    We sat down at a two-top in the Pizza Shack.
    I saw the brass fire pit Astrid had set up. It was shiny new and filled with a couple Duraflame logs. Somehow the sight of it made me sad. It looked so shiny and hopeful.
    â€œAstrid, I feel so bad about what happened,” I blurted out. “It was wrong and if I had been stronger it never would have happened.”
    â€œNo,” she said with a wry set to her mouth. “I knew you’d be feeling all guilty. Look, we didn’t mean to do what we did but it’s not bad or wrong. It’s not even our fault. Jake and I had an open kind of thing—no commitment. We are free to do whatever we want.”
    â€œOh,” I said. I sat back in my chair. “Okay.”
    â€œThe only thing I regret about what we did is that I think Jake saw us and I am worried about him. What you said about him committing suicide … I don’t know. We need to watch him.”
    She chewed on her lip for a moment.
    Then she looked at me and smiled, glancing away. I think she was sort of blushing, even.
    â€œBut as for this afternoon? I thought it was … awesome.”
    My heart had some kind of a seizure.
    â€œBut I … I feel like I forced you. Did I force you?” I said.
    Now she looked shocked.
    â€œNo!” she exclaimed. “Did I force you ?”
    â€œNo, I mean, I wanted to do what we did. Very, very much. It’s just…”
    I didn’t know what to say.
    â€œDean, can I ask you something?”
    I blew out a big breath of air. I knew what she was going to ask.
    â€œWas it your first time?”
    The blush that hit me could have melted paint. I think I started stammering.
    Astrid reached out and grabbed my arm.
    â€œIt’s okay!” She laughed. “Everyone has a first time.”
    I tried to laugh, but I still felt really embarrassed.
    â€œIt’s just not everyone who has a first time under the influence of a deadly chemical warfare compound,” she added dryly.
    â€œYeah,” I said. “It’s gonna be hard to top it, frankly.”
    We both laughed.
    I scratched my head. I think even my scalp was beet red.
    Then Astrid leaned over and kissed me.
    It was a soft kiss. Her lips parted just a bit as she pressed them against mine.
    I kissed back, my mouth feeling strong pushing against hers. She was answering me with her mouth and it was a quiet, sweet yes.
    And then she pulled back gently.
    â€œ That should have been our first kiss,” she said quietly.
    I sat for a moment, taking it all in.
    â€œThere’s no reason why it can’t be our first kiss,” I answered her. “This could be, I don’t know, the official start of Us.”
    â€œDean—” she started to protest.
    â€œAstrid, you know how I feel about you. I’m crazy about you—”
    â€œDean, no. Not now.”
    â€œWhy? I’m good for you. You said it yourself, I’m a good guy. I would never leave you like Jake did—”
    â€œDean! Listen to me. If Jake confronts us, I’m going to say it was a huge mistake. I’m going to say it was just the compounds.”
    â€œBut why?”
    â€œLook, maybe I have a