Sitting in Bars with Cake: Lessons and Recipes from One Year of Trying to Bake My Way to a Boyfriend by Audrey Shulman Page B
Authors: Audrey Shulman
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suffice)
cocoa powder
baby candy bars or cereal for decoration
resilient apron
27 rolls of paper towels
durable sponge
aluminum foil
the Pandora Supremes station
the
Moulin Rouge
! sound track
This American Life
podcasts
nail polish (kept a safe distance from the cake)
trail mix/banana chips (for fuel)
ginger ale (for consumption)
plastic forks
paper plates
napkins in a masculine shade (a lot of them)
serving knife
cake carrier
A
Cakes for Pleasant Surprises, Thoughtful Gestures, and Full-On Victories
Are you in the mood to whip up something sugary and sentimental, even erring on the side of adorable? The following recipes have been baked up to accompany tales of endearing reactions from my male, cake-eating audience. Yep—these are sweet cakes about sweethearts, who (shocker) actually exist on the bar circuit. Hopefully the sugar high will hit right about the time you arrive at a line or two reaffirming that there are, in fact, still scrumptious single boys floating around.
A
The Guy Who Made Contact with My Mouth
This guy looked kind of like George Stephanopoulos, if George Stephanopoulos was still young and really amazing at Ping-Pong. He’d been playing a rather captivating game of table tennis when I interrupted to see if he’d like my last piece of cake, which he promptly abandoned his opponent to eat.
He turned out to be a nationally ranked athlete from Bulgaria, made especially evident when he threw an arm out to show how much he loved the cake and shot-put my empty cake tray clear across the room. While his opponent stamped his foot waiting for their game to resume, the Bulgarian insisted on feeding me bites of my own cake, taking care to wipe derailed frosting from my mouth. I had just started to get comfortable with the up-close-and-personalness of this gesture when, without any warning, he grabbed my face and kissed me as a thank-you for the unexpected dessert.
There’d always been a certain layer of tentativeness during those rare moments when I’d found myself within feasible make-out distance of any male person’s face, so I was grateful to the Bulgarian for finally bursting the personal-space bubble by pulling me in and slobbering on me.
Kissing in bars isn’t supposed to look particularly composed.
A
Sticky Maple Kiss Cake with Pumpkin Frosting
For athletic foreigners, syrup-loving Vermonters, and boys who work to break long-standing personal-space issues.
For the cake:
1 cup (2 sticks/230 g) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup (220 g) brown sugar
3 large eggs
1 cup (240 ml) maple syrup
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
2½ cups (310 g) all-purpose flour
½ teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon ground ginger
¼ cup (60 ml) milk
For the frosting:
4 ounces (½ block/115 g) cream cheese, at room temperature
3½ cups (350 g) confectioners’ sugar, sifted
¼ cup (55 g) pumpkin puree
1 tablespoon maple syrup
Hershey’s Kisses, for garnish
To make the cake : Preheat the oven to 375°F (190°C). Butter two 9-inch (23-cm) round cake pans, line the bottoms with rounds of parchment paper, and dust the pans with flour, tapping out the excess.
Beat the butter and brown sugar together until creamy, then add the eggs, one at a time, scraping down the sides of the bowl. Add the syrup and vanilla.
In a separate bowl, combine the flour, salt, baking powder, and ginger.
Working in batches, stir the flour mixture into the butter mixture, alternating with the milk; stir until just combined. Divide the batter between the prepared pans.
Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center of a cake comes out clean. Let cool for 5 minutes, then loosen the sides with a knife and invert onto wire racks to cool completely. Peel off the parchment and transfer one cake layer to a serving platter.
To make the frosting : Beat the cream cheese with the confectioners’ sugar, then add the pumpkin and beat until smooth. Spread some of the
cocoa powder
baby candy bars or cereal for decoration
resilient apron
27 rolls of paper towels
durable sponge
aluminum foil
the Pandora Supremes station
the
Moulin Rouge
! sound track
This American Life
podcasts
nail polish (kept a safe distance from the cake)
trail mix/banana chips (for fuel)
ginger ale (for consumption)
plastic forks
paper plates
napkins in a masculine shade (a lot of them)
serving knife
cake carrier
A
Cakes for Pleasant Surprises, Thoughtful Gestures, and Full-On Victories
Are you in the mood to whip up something sugary and sentimental, even erring on the side of adorable? The following recipes have been baked up to accompany tales of endearing reactions from my male, cake-eating audience. Yep—these are sweet cakes about sweethearts, who (shocker) actually exist on the bar circuit. Hopefully the sugar high will hit right about the time you arrive at a line or two reaffirming that there are, in fact, still scrumptious single boys floating around.
A
The Guy Who Made Contact with My Mouth
This guy looked kind of like George Stephanopoulos, if George Stephanopoulos was still young and really amazing at Ping-Pong. He’d been playing a rather captivating game of table tennis when I interrupted to see if he’d like my last piece of cake, which he promptly abandoned his opponent to eat.
He turned out to be a nationally ranked athlete from Bulgaria, made especially evident when he threw an arm out to show how much he loved the cake and shot-put my empty cake tray clear across the room. While his opponent stamped his foot waiting for their game to resume, the Bulgarian insisted on feeding me bites of my own cake, taking care to wipe derailed frosting from my mouth. I had just started to get comfortable with the up-close-and-personalness of this gesture when, without any warning, he grabbed my face and kissed me as a thank-you for the unexpected dessert.
There’d always been a certain layer of tentativeness during those rare moments when I’d found myself within feasible make-out distance of any male person’s face, so I was grateful to the Bulgarian for finally bursting the personal-space bubble by pulling me in and slobbering on me.
Kissing in bars isn’t supposed to look particularly composed.
A
Sticky Maple Kiss Cake with Pumpkin Frosting
For athletic foreigners, syrup-loving Vermonters, and boys who work to break long-standing personal-space issues.
For the cake:
1 cup (2 sticks/230 g) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup (220 g) brown sugar
3 large eggs
1 cup (240 ml) maple syrup
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
2½ cups (310 g) all-purpose flour
½ teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon ground ginger
¼ cup (60 ml) milk
For the frosting:
4 ounces (½ block/115 g) cream cheese, at room temperature
3½ cups (350 g) confectioners’ sugar, sifted
¼ cup (55 g) pumpkin puree
1 tablespoon maple syrup
Hershey’s Kisses, for garnish
To make the cake : Preheat the oven to 375°F (190°C). Butter two 9-inch (23-cm) round cake pans, line the bottoms with rounds of parchment paper, and dust the pans with flour, tapping out the excess.
Beat the butter and brown sugar together until creamy, then add the eggs, one at a time, scraping down the sides of the bowl. Add the syrup and vanilla.
In a separate bowl, combine the flour, salt, baking powder, and ginger.
Working in batches, stir the flour mixture into the butter mixture, alternating with the milk; stir until just combined. Divide the batter between the prepared pans.
Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center of a cake comes out clean. Let cool for 5 minutes, then loosen the sides with a knife and invert onto wire racks to cool completely. Peel off the parchment and transfer one cake layer to a serving platter.
To make the frosting : Beat the cream cheese with the confectioners’ sugar, then add the pumpkin and beat until smooth. Spread some of the
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