Sit for a Spell (The Kitchen Witch, Book 3): (Witch Cozy Mystery series) by Morgana Best

gathered.
    Thyme signaled to me to continue, so I pushed on. I tried to think of another poem, but in the stress of the moment, I could only remember an ancient prayer for safety at sea. Thyme gestured urgently, so I figured I had no choice but to quote it.
    “Mighty sons of Zeus and of Leda,
    Be with me now as I leave the Isle of Pelops!
Castor and Polydeuces, be kind and appear to me,
    you who wander over the wide earth, over
all the sea's domain on your flying horses,
easily delivering mortals from the terror of
death,
    as you fly down to the strong ship’s
mast and ride on the cables,
through the dark night .”
    I thought that was not particularly relevant to Sue’s funeral, so I added, “Sue died just like Leonidas and the Three Hundred, and like those ancient Greeks would’ve died if they hadn’t prayed to the gods for safety at sea.” I stopped speaking and looked around the room. Everybody seemed fixated on my bizarre outburst.
    I could no longer see Thyme from where I was standing and had no idea if she’d managed her task or not, but I figured I should buy her as much time as I possibly could. I couldn’t remember any more poems, so I managed to blurt out some more awkward sentences using all the flowery language and long words I could muster.
    I managed to spout a few more incoherent lines, and everybody stared at me in silence. It was so quiet I felt as though I could actually hear my face turning beet red. Someone in the audience coughed softly, and I wanted nothing more than for this moment to end. Someone tapped me on the shoulder and I jumped, spinning around to face them. It was Kayleen.
    “Are you done embarrassing yourself?” she yelled at me. “Some of us have places to be after this funeral, so let’s move it along.” She said it so rudely that I was momentarily stunned. I could see Craig nodding in agreement over her shoulder, although her own husband looked shocked. She then leaned in close to me and whispered, calling me some of the rudest names I had ever heard. In fact, some of them I had never even heard. She then pretended to pat me on my shoulder, but pinched me viciously.
    I slapped her across the face as hard I could. She crashed backward into the seats behind her, knocking strangers in every direction. Several people stood up. I knew I’d have to leave. Giving Kayleen a last sour look, I turned and walked outside, hoping Thyme had managed to do her part.
    I hugged my arms around myself and sat on the steps of the funeral home’s chapel. I’d hugely embarrassed myself, and what I’d done to Kayleen was wrong, even if I felt she deserved it. People are going to hate me for that , I thought, but if Thyme got it done, it was all worth it . The commotion inside grew suddenly louder as the front door opened, but quieted down again as it closed gently.
    “Are you okay?” It was Ruprecht. He sat down next to me and looked out to the horizon.
    “I’ve been a lot better,” I admitted. True, I’d also been worse, but I also hadn’t ever slapped somebody at a funeral. Hopefully, I wouldn’t have to do it again.
    “Now, you didn’t necessarily handle that in the most elegant fashion, but as far as I could tell, Thyme did her part, so we’re that much closer to catching the killer.” He smiled warmly at me. “It was selfless of you to embarrass yourself for a good cause like that. It was less selfless to slap that woman across the face, but at least that was for two good causes.” He chuckled, and I couldn’t help but laugh a little with him.
    “I couldn’t think of a good one-liner,” I admitted with a smile.
    Ruprecht turned to me. “A one liner?”
    “You know, a line after you do something exciting, like in the movies, or on Buffy . I could have said ‘Eat this’ if I’d hit her with one of my cakes, or I could have said, ‘I won’t take this sitting down’, and hit her with a chair, or something.” I laughed, albeit somewhat hysterically.
    Ruprecht