tears.
âWhatâs wrong sister, is everything all right?â
âDoes everything look all right?â she snapped.
âDamn, I was just being concerned.â
Bella apologized. How could she tell this complete stranger that she may have had another man killed?
Maybe that explained why she hadnât heard from Ramsey and Rock, their asses were probably hiding out.
âFuck! Fuck! Fuck!â Bella said under her breath. When she arrived at the apartment Black had her staying in, she paid the driver, went inside, and broke down.
She shed tears of frustration, anger, disappointment and yes, even sadness.
Although Leon mistreated her more than half the time, he took care of her the other half and if she was honest with herself, a part of her loved him.
She wished she could turn that part of her off but it wasnât that simple.
âWhat the hell did yâall do? What went wrong?â Bella yelled at the walls.
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Just when Bella was feeling an anxiety attack coming on her pager went off. She took it off her hip and looked at the number.
The only people that had the number were Black and Ramsey. The number that showed up on the beeper did not look familiar, it could be either of them. In her panicked state, Bella thought to herself, âIt could even be the police.â
She did not want to call the number back. What if it was the police?
Bella started pacing back and forth when her pager went off again, this time with 911 at the end of the number.
Shit! Shit! Shit! What was she going to do?
âFuck it!â Bella screamed and picked up the phone. She dialed the number and it was answered on the first ring.
âBella?â
It was Ramsey.
âWhat happened? Leonâs dead! Whereâs theâ?â
Ramsey cut her off. âWhere can we meet?
Bella didnât answer. What if he was setting her up?
âBella, where can we meet?â
âTell me this, Ramsey, did you do it?â
Bella could hear Ramsey take a deep breath. âWould you believe me if I told you no?â
âYes,â Bella lied, âI would.â
She could hear Ramsey breathe a sigh of relief.
âI have your portion of the money, letâs meet.â
Bella wanted so bad to believe him, she had to believe him. She told him where to meet her.
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When Bella thought back to that day, she still wondered if Ramsey was honest with her or not. He told her that they whipped Leonâs ass, they got him to tell them the combination, and when they left him he was still alive. Ramsey swore to her neither he nor Rock killed Leon but it was no secret Rock was a killer.
Ruthless was his middle name. He gave Bella her share of the money, telling her, âIâll see you when I see you.â
Bella continued to let Black take care of her and during that time, she saved just about every penny he gave her. She went back to school and got her high school diploma and then onto college. Black supported her every choice.
It was in college when she developed an interest in philosophy and religion, it was also what sent her on a quest for God.
Bella started attending various churches and Bible studies.
Black noticed the changes in her. He also knew it was time to let her go and grow. Plus, he found another woman, one that wasnât motivated to change.
To this day, Bella still thought about Black and how if he had not come into her life when he did, her life just might have been over. She was thankful for him and for a while they kept in touch. Black was more than a john to Bella, he was her guardian angel.
CHAPTER EIGHT
FAITH
Dear Journal,
Enough is enough, when he comes home Iâm going tell him that Iâm ready for a divorce. I just hope I can say it with conviction. How heâs going to react? I have no idea but however he does, Iâm just going to have to deal with it.
Iâm tired of being a doormat, Iâm tired of having sex with someone just
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