SirenSong by Roberta Gellis

died. For months misery and
jealousy tortured Elizabeth again. This time William would choose a wife for
himself and, naturally, he would choose a girl he could love. But William did
not marry. Years passed and Elizabeth grew happy, even though she often lay
awake at night tortured by unfulfilled desire. She mothered his daughter,
teaching her the women’s skills that Martin did not know.
    And now… Mauger had had many mistresses, but none of them
had been so incredibly stupid as Emma. In the presence of a noble visitor, the
preceding whores had the sense to make themselves scarce. William’s rage had
undone her. It had showed her that he had never shamed his wife in the same
way, no matter how little he cared for her, and the rage had also salved a hurt
she did not know she had borne. The passion she had hidden so long broke its
bounds. She would have given herself to him with joy, if only he had not said
those words.
    I will honor you as you deserve . How dared he! He had
betrayed her once. When it became convenient, would he not betray her again?
Even as the bitter thought passed through her mind, Elizabeth knew it was
unfair. William had loved his father. It is a hard choice between love and
love, and William was only seventeen, his best friend the richest earl in the
kingdom. The need for a greater estate must have been very clear to him, even
if she, who had never been to court nor mixed with those far richer than
herself, did not then understand. She understood now. Mauger never ceased to
cry of his poverty, of his need to make a show to impress those who could
advance his sons’ positions.
    Because life had taught her tolerance, Elizabeth did not
wound William by speaking her bitterness aloud. Besides, she loved him. That he
had given her up for profit was a weakness she could never forget nor
completely forgive, but it had no effect on her love. And he had been steadfast
for five years. He could have married and married very well. Yet, he did not
marry. Surely that was for her.
    The bitterness faded. Elizabeth’s green eyes glowed as she
recalled instead the heat of William’s mouth, the blessed strength of his arms
around her. She wanted him…wanted him! Yet all the things she had said were
true. She loved her sons. Was it right to burden them with a mother who could
rightfully be called “whore”? It would bring war. William’s hope of concealing
her at Bix was foolish. It would certainly be the end of any hope that Alys
would wed Aubery.
    That, at least, would be no disadvantage, Elizabeth thought,
temporarily diverted from her own troubles. It had been some years since she
had thought that that marriage could possibly be happy. At first, when Aubery
and Alys were children and played pleasantly together, Elizabeth had been as
enchanted with the idea as Mauger had been, and supported it warmly. In recent
years, however, she realized that Alys had been mothering Aubery, that she was
far older than he in emotions and outlook, and that as Aubery matured and
noticed this, he strove constantly to dominate Alys. This, Elizabeth knew,
would be disastrous to a marriage between them. Both Alys and Aubery had much
good in them, but Alys needed a man who would appreciate her strength and
Aubery needed a woman who would appreciate his.
    She had already mentioned this problem to William. He agreed
that it was something to consider but felt that it was too soon to reject the
relationship out of hand. Elizabeth understood that the attraction of having
his daughter so near him, of not losing her entirely, made William unwilling to
face the facts. That had annoyed Elizabeth at the time, but now when she
thought of it her throat tightened with unshed tears. Poor William. He was
lonely.
    She was lonely also. Perhaps she and William… No. It was
best not even to think of it. She was still young enough to get with child, and
that was surely a way to come home by Weeping Cross. Mauger had not been in her
bed for many years.