“Zack, baby , I’d like to repay you.
Honestly.”
“ This isn’t right!” Zack squealed.
“Damn you, bitch!”
“ Aww,” Elsie cupped his cheek, and
lightly slapped him twice with her palm and backhand. “You’re so
cute!”
“ This isn’t over!” he
yelled.
Molly Biggins grabbed him by back
of the hair. She leaned into his ear, and said, “You’re right, it’s
not.”
Zack squirmed, trying to get away.
But the knots Nikolai had made were too strong. Zack flopped
around, like a fish out of water and made a break for the
door.
He didn’t get far.
Nikolai tackled him and threw him
back on the bed. Then proceeded to tie Zack’s right lower leg to
his upper leg, and repeated the same with his left leg.
Elsie smirked, satisfied the king
of douchebags wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.
“ First order of business,” she
said. “Where is my gun?”
“ Top left drawer, under the TV,”
said Zack. “Let me go now?”
Elsie opened the drawer, and sure
enough was the Smith and Wessen 9mm.
“ Come to mommy,” said Elsie,
cuddling the pistol in both hands and kissing it. “Did you miss me,
too?”
“ Fine, fine,” Zack said,
struggling and squirming against his bonds. “I’ll give you a big
kiss if you loosen me up.”
Elsie pointed her precious gun at
Zack’s head. “Give me a reason not to shoot you,
asshole.”
Kevin clasped his hand on her
wrist. “Honey, we agreed. No bloodshed before the
wedding.”
Elsie groaned. “Okay. But can I
shoot his cell phone?”
Brad held up both hands and
tip-toed to the nightstand, where Zack’s phone was laying. “Wait,
wait. That’s what you brought me for, remember?”
“ Don’t look at those photos,” said
Elsie, with a playful smirk and a wink. She hoped Brad saw the
wink. “Hate to shoot the best man.”
He chuckled nervously as he played
with the phone. “First, delete all the data. And then reset the
system. And now…” Brad wiggled his fingers. “Abracadabra, I’ve
locked him out of his own phone. The photos are not only gone, he
won’t be taking more anytime soon.”
“ Aww man,” said Zack. “You’re a
grade A douche, man.”
“ Thank you, Brad,” Elsie said,
putting her gun back in the holster it belonged to. “My last order
of business is the black book.”
Mom groaned, crossing her
arms.
Zack laughed. “You know what’s in
the mysterious black book? Not what I expected, but hey, I had a
little fun.”
“ Just tell me where it is,” Elsie
said.
“ Can’t I make a photocopy of it
first?”
Mom slapped him across the face,
hard enough to leave a handprint. “If the children weren’t around,”
she said, “I’d kill you myself.”
“ Mother!” Elsie said. “He’s an
douchebag, but… Ah, never mind. Slap him again.”
She did. The hit rang and echoed in
the small hotel room.
“ In the upper right drawer,”
mumbled Zack.
Elsie looked. Sure enough, sitting
on top was a black, leather-bound book.
The cover had a title imprinted in
gold-leaf lettering: Molly’s &
Gertie’s Black Book of Adventures .
“ Wait,” Elsie picked up the
book.
“ No, honey,” Mom said.
“Don’t!”
Too late. Curiosity and dread beat
out common sense and curtesy. Elsie opened the black book to a
random page. On each page were full-color photographs of Molly
Biggins and Mom naked, in tantric poses.
“ Oh,” said Elsie. “Oh.”
“ Umm, oh,” Kevin stuttered
something non-sense. He grabbed the book out of Elsie’s hands and
slammed it shut. He handed it to Mom. “Guess this is yours, Mrs.
Turner.”
“ Thanks, dear,” Mom said,
clutching the book to her chest. “And call me Gertrude,
okay?”
“ Your mother and I have a history
together,” said Biggins, a warm crooked smile breaking her icy
countenance. “Going back to the mid-90s. God those were good years,
da?”
“ Yes, they were,” Mom said,
wistfully, wiping a tear from her eye. “We self-published this
book. Cost a small fortune in
Honestly.”
“ This isn’t right!” Zack squealed.
“Damn you, bitch!”
“ Aww,” Elsie cupped his cheek, and
lightly slapped him twice with her palm and backhand. “You’re so
cute!”
“ This isn’t over!” he
yelled.
Molly Biggins grabbed him by back
of the hair. She leaned into his ear, and said, “You’re right, it’s
not.”
Zack squirmed, trying to get away.
But the knots Nikolai had made were too strong. Zack flopped
around, like a fish out of water and made a break for the
door.
He didn’t get far.
Nikolai tackled him and threw him
back on the bed. Then proceeded to tie Zack’s right lower leg to
his upper leg, and repeated the same with his left leg.
Elsie smirked, satisfied the king
of douchebags wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.
“ First order of business,” she
said. “Where is my gun?”
“ Top left drawer, under the TV,”
said Zack. “Let me go now?”
Elsie opened the drawer, and sure
enough was the Smith and Wessen 9mm.
“ Come to mommy,” said Elsie,
cuddling the pistol in both hands and kissing it. “Did you miss me,
too?”
“ Fine, fine,” Zack said,
struggling and squirming against his bonds. “I’ll give you a big
kiss if you loosen me up.”
Elsie pointed her precious gun at
Zack’s head. “Give me a reason not to shoot you,
asshole.”
Kevin clasped his hand on her
wrist. “Honey, we agreed. No bloodshed before the
wedding.”
Elsie groaned. “Okay. But can I
shoot his cell phone?”
Brad held up both hands and
tip-toed to the nightstand, where Zack’s phone was laying. “Wait,
wait. That’s what you brought me for, remember?”
“ Don’t look at those photos,” said
Elsie, with a playful smirk and a wink. She hoped Brad saw the
wink. “Hate to shoot the best man.”
He chuckled nervously as he played
with the phone. “First, delete all the data. And then reset the
system. And now…” Brad wiggled his fingers. “Abracadabra, I’ve
locked him out of his own phone. The photos are not only gone, he
won’t be taking more anytime soon.”
“ Aww man,” said Zack. “You’re a
grade A douche, man.”
“ Thank you, Brad,” Elsie said,
putting her gun back in the holster it belonged to. “My last order
of business is the black book.”
Mom groaned, crossing her
arms.
Zack laughed. “You know what’s in
the mysterious black book? Not what I expected, but hey, I had a
little fun.”
“ Just tell me where it is,” Elsie
said.
“ Can’t I make a photocopy of it
first?”
Mom slapped him across the face,
hard enough to leave a handprint. “If the children weren’t around,”
she said, “I’d kill you myself.”
“ Mother!” Elsie said. “He’s an
douchebag, but… Ah, never mind. Slap him again.”
She did. The hit rang and echoed in
the small hotel room.
“ In the upper right drawer,”
mumbled Zack.
Elsie looked. Sure enough, sitting
on top was a black, leather-bound book.
The cover had a title imprinted in
gold-leaf lettering: Molly’s &
Gertie’s Black Book of Adventures .
“ Wait,” Elsie picked up the
book.
“ No, honey,” Mom said.
“Don’t!”
Too late. Curiosity and dread beat
out common sense and curtesy. Elsie opened the black book to a
random page. On each page were full-color photographs of Molly
Biggins and Mom naked, in tantric poses.
“ Oh,” said Elsie. “Oh.”
“ Umm, oh,” Kevin stuttered
something non-sense. He grabbed the book out of Elsie’s hands and
slammed it shut. He handed it to Mom. “Guess this is yours, Mrs.
Turner.”
“ Thanks, dear,” Mom said,
clutching the book to her chest. “And call me Gertrude,
okay?”
“ Your mother and I have a history
together,” said Biggins, a warm crooked smile breaking her icy
countenance. “Going back to the mid-90s. God those were good years,
da?”
“ Yes, they were,” Mom said,
wistfully, wiping a tear from her eye. “We self-published this
book. Cost a small fortune in
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