the effect of wine and even drunkenness itself were unknown to me. It set off all kinds of fantastic ideas in my mind as I thought about it; I could see the strange expressions on their faces but did not know what had caused them. Up to that point each one had emptied his plate with a good appetite, but once their bellies were full they were hard put to it to carry on, like a waggoner who can get along fine with his fresh team on level ground but hardly moves at all going uphill. But once their heads were full as well, this physical incapacity was compensated for by other qualities they had imbibed along with the wine: in the one case boldness, in another the sincere desire to drink a toast to his friend or in a third good old-fashioned German chivalry that will not leave a toast unacknowledged. There came a point, however, when even these noble qualities failed them. Then they started challenging each other to pledge their lords, one of their friends or their mistress by pouring the wine down their throats by the quart. Many paled at the thought and broke out in a cold sweat, but the bumper had to be downed. Eventually they started making a racket with drums, fifes and lutes as each measure was emptied, and let off their pistols at the same time, doubtless because the wine had to take their bellies by storm. I could not work out where they put it all. What I did not know was that even before the wine had had a chance to warm up inside them they very painfully brought it up out of the same orifice down which they had just poured it at great danger to their health.
The pastor was also present at this banquet and, being human like all the rest, had to leave the room. I followed and asked him, ‘Pastor, why are the people behaving so strangely? What makes them reel about like that? It seems to me they have taken leave of their senses. They have eaten and drunk their fill. Devil take them, they keep on saying, if they can drink any more, and yet they still don’t stop tossing it back. Are they forced to do this or do they squander the wine of their own free will and against God’s?’
‘My dear child’, the pastor replied, ‘when the wine comes in the door, a man’s wits fly out of the window. This is nothing compared to what is still to come. They will probably not break up until shortly before dawn. Even though their bellies are crammed full they still have a long way to go before they are really merry.’
‘But’, I said, ‘won’t their bellies burst if they keep on stuffing so much in? And how can their souls, which are in the likeness of God, remain in such hoggish bodies, where they must feel as if they were imprisoned in the darkest of dungeons, the most verminous of jails, without the least spark of godliness? How can their noble souls allow themselves to be tormented in this way? Is it not as if their senses, which ought to be the instruments of their souls, were buried in the bowels of brute beasts?’
‘You just keep quiet’, said the pastor, ‘unless you want to get a good thrashing. This is not the time for preaching, and if it were, I could do it much better.’
After that I looked on in silence as they wantonly wasted food and drink which could have been used to feed the poor Lazarus languishing at our gates in the form of several hundred refugees from Wetterau, whose hunger was plain for all to see, for the cupboard was bare.
Chapter 31
How the trick Simplicius learnt backfires and he is taught a song with a new beat
As I stood there with a plate in my hand, waiting at table, my mind was plagued with all kinds of strange thoughts and fancies, and my belly refused to leave me in peace either. It kept on rumbling and grumbling to let me know there were some jokers inside that wanted to get out into the fresh air. I thought I would take advantage of the great racket to help conceal the opening of the pass, at the same time using the trick my fellow page had taught me the previous night.
The pastor was also present at this banquet and, being human like all the rest, had to leave the room. I followed and asked him, ‘Pastor, why are the people behaving so strangely? What makes them reel about like that? It seems to me they have taken leave of their senses. They have eaten and drunk their fill. Devil take them, they keep on saying, if they can drink any more, and yet they still don’t stop tossing it back. Are they forced to do this or do they squander the wine of their own free will and against God’s?’
‘My dear child’, the pastor replied, ‘when the wine comes in the door, a man’s wits fly out of the window. This is nothing compared to what is still to come. They will probably not break up until shortly before dawn. Even though their bellies are crammed full they still have a long way to go before they are really merry.’
‘But’, I said, ‘won’t their bellies burst if they keep on stuffing so much in? And how can their souls, which are in the likeness of God, remain in such hoggish bodies, where they must feel as if they were imprisoned in the darkest of dungeons, the most verminous of jails, without the least spark of godliness? How can their noble souls allow themselves to be tormented in this way? Is it not as if their senses, which ought to be the instruments of their souls, were buried in the bowels of brute beasts?’
‘You just keep quiet’, said the pastor, ‘unless you want to get a good thrashing. This is not the time for preaching, and if it were, I could do it much better.’
After that I looked on in silence as they wantonly wasted food and drink which could have been used to feed the poor Lazarus languishing at our gates in the form of several hundred refugees from Wetterau, whose hunger was plain for all to see, for the cupboard was bare.
Chapter 31
How the trick Simplicius learnt backfires and he is taught a song with a new beat
As I stood there with a plate in my hand, waiting at table, my mind was plagued with all kinds of strange thoughts and fancies, and my belly refused to leave me in peace either. It kept on rumbling and grumbling to let me know there were some jokers inside that wanted to get out into the fresh air. I thought I would take advantage of the great racket to help conceal the opening of the pass, at the same time using the trick my fellow page had taught me the previous night.
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