done
dressing me. The difference was shocking. I wasn’t sure it was me in that
mirror. I didn’t look as desperate as I felt. My eyes were not so dark and
hollow. I remember smiling a little, just before the women took me to the
dining hall. No chains. No shackles. I didn’t know what to make of it.” I eased
out a slow breath.
“Well, there were two men sitting at the table
when I got to the hall. Balfrin and Taylo. Friends of Garai’s from the
Shadowlands. He introduced us and escorted me to my seat, but I couldn’t look
at them. It was so ingrained in me by that time.”
“What was ingrained?” Magnus asked.
“Averting my eyes. Calling as little attention
to myself as possible. The meal was served in due time. I ate as the men
talked, actually enjoying the banter between them. My human contact was limited.
Hearing another voice was like a gift to me.” I stared off into the distance,
my chest tight.
“I prepared to go back to my room at the end of
the meal, as the servants were cleaning up, but Garai pointed at me and said to
his friends, ‘She’s yours for the night. Don’t hurt her too badly, or I’ll kill
you both.’ And just like that, the nice dinner was over. Over. Until the sun
came up the next morning.” Goosebumps rose on my arms. I gave a snort of
derision. “I wasn’t taken back to the comfort of the room I’d been sleeping in.
No, I was dragged back to the aviary and thrown into a cage. Like rubbish. I
didn’t even have the strength to cry.”
Magnus went absolutely stiff, his breathing
ragged. “I swear I am going to kill Garai. I am going to cut him into little
bloody pieces and spread his fucking carcass from one end of this land to the
other. What kind of an animal does that to a woman?”
I put my hand on his arm to keep him seated. “Listen,
I didn’t tell you that to anger you. Do you understand now why stability
frightens me? Garai delighted in lulling me into a false sense of security,
then kicking my feet out from under me. The normal and harmless was anything
but in Pentorus.”
Magnus growled and bared his teeth.
“I have worse stories. It took me a while to
catch on to what he was doing. And now, when you’re kind, or Mrs. Toolwin sets
a meal and wine on the table between us, so much food that I’m sure I must be
dreaming. . . well, all I can do some days is lock myself away in my room. It’s
complicated, but I’m asking you to give me wide sway when I disappear behind a
locked door. I feel like I can get better, but some days are worse than others.”
He spoke through clenched teeth. “How can you speak
of the things that happened to you as though you’re telling a campfire story?
How do you do it, Kymber?”
“The same way you did when you thought I was
dead. My mother used to say tomorrow is just one wish, one hope, one dream away
from yesterday. It wasn’t so hard to bear if I could remember that.”
F or two months, we did
nothing but walk and eat. I gained weight and got stronger. My outlook improved
with my health. The better I felt, the more positive I was about life.
Alas, my hand was not cooperating. Jarl was
having mixed success. He was able to pry my fingers loose from the palm a bit,
but not enough to grasp anything. Despite making an extra nightly effort with
warm compresses at Seacrest, my hand opened no farther. I would likely never
hold a sword again.
It was another beautiful, warm morning, but
Magnus and I made the trip to Jarl’s office in silence. Once again, the
physician did what he could, then leaned back and pressed his hands to his
thighs, mumbling in frustration. “The fingers just aren’t responding anymore.
I’m afraid that’s it.”
The disappointment on Magnus’s face was almost
too much to bear.
I put my good hand on Magnus’s knee. “It
doesn’t matter. I’m strong and healthy now. That’s something, isn’t it?”
Shoulders bunched, he threw my hand off and
stalked to the window. “Yes, and
dressing me. The difference was shocking. I wasn’t sure it was me in that
mirror. I didn’t look as desperate as I felt. My eyes were not so dark and
hollow. I remember smiling a little, just before the women took me to the
dining hall. No chains. No shackles. I didn’t know what to make of it.” I eased
out a slow breath.
“Well, there were two men sitting at the table
when I got to the hall. Balfrin and Taylo. Friends of Garai’s from the
Shadowlands. He introduced us and escorted me to my seat, but I couldn’t look
at them. It was so ingrained in me by that time.”
“What was ingrained?” Magnus asked.
“Averting my eyes. Calling as little attention
to myself as possible. The meal was served in due time. I ate as the men
talked, actually enjoying the banter between them. My human contact was limited.
Hearing another voice was like a gift to me.” I stared off into the distance,
my chest tight.
“I prepared to go back to my room at the end of
the meal, as the servants were cleaning up, but Garai pointed at me and said to
his friends, ‘She’s yours for the night. Don’t hurt her too badly, or I’ll kill
you both.’ And just like that, the nice dinner was over. Over. Until the sun
came up the next morning.” Goosebumps rose on my arms. I gave a snort of
derision. “I wasn’t taken back to the comfort of the room I’d been sleeping in.
No, I was dragged back to the aviary and thrown into a cage. Like rubbish. I
didn’t even have the strength to cry.”
Magnus went absolutely stiff, his breathing
ragged. “I swear I am going to kill Garai. I am going to cut him into little
bloody pieces and spread his fucking carcass from one end of this land to the
other. What kind of an animal does that to a woman?”
I put my hand on his arm to keep him seated. “Listen,
I didn’t tell you that to anger you. Do you understand now why stability
frightens me? Garai delighted in lulling me into a false sense of security,
then kicking my feet out from under me. The normal and harmless was anything
but in Pentorus.”
Magnus growled and bared his teeth.
“I have worse stories. It took me a while to
catch on to what he was doing. And now, when you’re kind, or Mrs. Toolwin sets
a meal and wine on the table between us, so much food that I’m sure I must be
dreaming. . . well, all I can do some days is lock myself away in my room. It’s
complicated, but I’m asking you to give me wide sway when I disappear behind a
locked door. I feel like I can get better, but some days are worse than others.”
He spoke through clenched teeth. “How can you speak
of the things that happened to you as though you’re telling a campfire story?
How do you do it, Kymber?”
“The same way you did when you thought I was
dead. My mother used to say tomorrow is just one wish, one hope, one dream away
from yesterday. It wasn’t so hard to bear if I could remember that.”
F or two months, we did
nothing but walk and eat. I gained weight and got stronger. My outlook improved
with my health. The better I felt, the more positive I was about life.
Alas, my hand was not cooperating. Jarl was
having mixed success. He was able to pry my fingers loose from the palm a bit,
but not enough to grasp anything. Despite making an extra nightly effort with
warm compresses at Seacrest, my hand opened no farther. I would likely never
hold a sword again.
It was another beautiful, warm morning, but
Magnus and I made the trip to Jarl’s office in silence. Once again, the
physician did what he could, then leaned back and pressed his hands to his
thighs, mumbling in frustration. “The fingers just aren’t responding anymore.
I’m afraid that’s it.”
The disappointment on Magnus’s face was almost
too much to bear.
I put my good hand on Magnus’s knee. “It
doesn’t matter. I’m strong and healthy now. That’s something, isn’t it?”
Shoulders bunched, he threw my hand off and
stalked to the window. “Yes, and
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