Silver Lining by Wanda B. Campbell

Avenue. On this trip, Marlissa didn’t window shop, and Kevin didn’t leave her behind.
    Seated at the same corner table they’d shared weeks before, Kevin sipped hot apple cider while Marlissa enjoyed her usual chai tea.
    Kevin took a sip and placed the cup on the round table. “Marlissa, can you explain something to me?”
    Marlissa covered his hand with hers. “Go ahead.”
    Kevin took mental note of her effort to express affection. “I don’t understand how attending one church service, drunk, changed your life. You spent many Sundays and Tuesday nights at church with me and you weren’t moved at all. I prayed for you all the time, but the more I prayed, the more you resisted. I would have given anything to see you interested in church like you are now. I guess what I’m asking is, why did you have to leave me to find the Lord?”
    Marlissa sipped her tea before answering. “Kevin, I’ll be straight with you. I couldn’t relate to the God your mother preached about. I didn’t understand her God.” She paused for him to respond; when he didn’t, Marlissa continued. “The God your mother presented was condemning and judgmental. Her God was full of rules and regulations, and He didn’t love you unless you followed this long list of rules. You couldn’t make any mistakes; you had to be perfect to serve her God. Your mother preached about a loving God, but her God didn’t require her to love sinners like me. I was never good enough for her. I’m still not. To be completely honest, I didn’t want the God she was selling.”
    â€œBut I wasn’t like that with you,” Kevin spoke up. Marlissa heard the depth of his pain, and saw the turbulence as anger and hurt collided together in his eyes. “I was always there for you even after . . . after you rejected me.”
    Marlissa didn’t bother wiping away the tears that moistened her cheeks. She hurt for Kevin and all they had lost. “Kevin, you’re right. It’s like I told you before: I didn’t love myself. Therefore, I couldn’t accept the love you offered. I don’t know how to make you understand, but my leaving had nothing to do with you. You were a wonderful husband; I was the one all twisted up. It’s like you said the first day we met: I was crazy. I had to be crazy to leave you.” Marlissa smiled and that seemed to lighten his mood. “I’m not crazy anymore, and I know what I want. I want us, Kevin.”
    Kevin wanted to tell her he wanted the same, but his heart wasn’t ready. Instead, he asked, “When can I see you again?” He figured it wasn’t the response she wanted, but it was the best he could offer.
    â€œWhen do you want to see me?”
    Kevin finished his cider. “Tomorrow for dinner.”
    Marlissa pouted. “I’m sorry, but I’m working at Macy’s every night this week. This is my only night off.” The sound of Marlissa’s cell phone startled them both. “Excuse me.”
    Kevin listened as Marlissa tried to convince the caller she wasn’t in any kind of trouble. Giving up, she handed the phone to Kevin. “Will you tell Leon that I am with you?”
    He received the phone and leaned back in the chair. “That’s right, Leon, she hasn’t left my sight all evening. And, by the way, I met your mother this evening. She’s a character. I’m going to see her on Friday.”
    Marlissa leaned back with her arms folded as Kevin and Leon talked on and on about what she considered unnecessary jibber jabber. “I’d better go, someone’s getting jealous . . . Thanks for looking out . . . I’ll make sure she gets home safely.”
    Marlissa defended herself after he handed her back the phone and she secured it on the waist clip. “I’m not jealous, but I don’t get to spend much time with you. I don’t want to share