Silver Bullets
with everything costing the world what makes you think I would buy myself a watch? Get up because soon I have to go to a meeting at the high school, it seems Marco Antonio is up to his old tricks. The guy from Los Bukis’s kid? Well, whose else would he be, he looks just like him, his beard is starting to come in, the damn squirt, and you should hear his voice when he sings, lovely. What about your daughter?Which, Chespirito’s or Vicente Fernández’s? Remember I have two. Chespirito’s. She went to Mexico City to find her father, she’s already written two plays, maybe he’ll give her a hand, you wouldn’t believe how funny they are, as soon as you start reading you’re in tears you’re laughing so hard, imagine if she gets to put them on. What I don’t believe is the part about Santana. I swear to God, it happened in Tijuana, he was so drunk he couldn’t get it up, and Joan Manuel Serrat didn’t feel like it, that man is a such a gentleman, how I would have liked to have his child, that time I didn’t insist because I had my period, if not we’d have another composer in the family.
    More tortillas? This is enough. I’m going to pour you more coffee, that work of yours takes a lot of energy, so don’t you go leaving anything on your plate, and Lefty, go shave, you aren’t the kind of person to go around like a penniless bum, yesterday I let you go because there was no time, but today you aren’t leaving until you’re presentable. How did it go in Mazatlán? It went, listen, don’t think you can get me back into the bathroom. Why not? You leave here looking respectable or you don’t leave, period, your blessed mother would not forgive me if you went out with that face. You can’t win. He stood up and went off to shave.
    As soon as he turned on the cell phone: cavalry charge. Mendieta. Fucking killjoy, why did you take the chick with you? She would have had such a good time, to begin with she would have been nice and warm in bed, all her needs attended to. She confessed to me she likes you, she said she’ll stay with you when you lose forty pounds, the way you are now she’s afraid you’d have a heart attack, what news? Your dancer hasn’t shown his face anywhere, but he hasn’t left the port, last night we did a roundup on Crestón Hill, where the lighthouse is, we interrogated all the detainees and nothing, they hadn’t even heard ofhim. Okay, send me the report by e-mail. I’d rather Zelda Toledo came for it. All right, but send it to me first.
    At the office he had a message from Guillermo Ortega. He went over to his cubicle next to the lab, which was overflowing with the residue of hundreds of cases. What’s up, faggot? Listen, before I forget, my son needs to do a report on Pedro Páramo , that’s a book you ought to have, could you lend it to him? You sure turned out cheap, buy him one, it won’t even cost you a hundred pesos. But if you have one, why should I spend the money? So you’ll have at least one book in your house. No way, suppose the kid turns into an intellectual, what a fucking curse that would be. The book is fairly dangerous, you’re right, but I don’t think anything is going to happen, that poor kid is so much like you I’d wager a testicle he’ll barely read the cover. For all I’ve missed by not reading it, I don’t think the little dummy is wrong, however, I’d rather not run the risk, so you are going to lend it to him and shut your trap; okay, there are two pieces of information I want to give you, even though I know you’re worthless and you’ll never find the culprit. The culprits find me. Well, while you’re waiting for that to happen, I don’t want things held up on our account, so here you go: both copies of News from the Empire , the one I gave you and the one I have here have too many fingerprints from Paola Rodríguez; the one I gave you was hers if I remember right, it also has his prints and some unknown; on the silver bullets, there is a

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