you’re strapped in with John Luke next to you. Then you’re breaking away, blasting off from the DC Enterprise .
“I liked that spaceship,” you say as you watch it get farther and farther away.
The pod is barely big enough to fit both you and John Luke in two seats. You’ve been sitting in it for about two hours (since you can’t exactly stand —it’s that cramped) when you notice yourself drifting off to sleep.
“John Luke, are you getting tired?”
But he’s already out.
Not another cybersleep! Where we goin’ this time?
You try to fight it. You press some buttons and attempt to get in touch with Ashley. But your actions are becoming slower and slower. Your lips feel full.
Hey, this ain’t no sunshine.
What?
Listen, Jack, don’t go chasin’ waterfalls.
Huh?
And like that. Fast asleep.
Go here .
SUPER TROUPER
IT’S NOT LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING, Jack, but who else is gonna save the universe? Or at least this tiny little bit of world inside the DC Enterprise ? And waking up the pilot seems way less risky than driving a crazy-complicated spaceship on your own.
You decide to wake Pilot Ben Parkhurst first because, well, he’s the pilot, and he can pi the lot of you all the way back home if you wake him.
So you slowly start to open his space suit as John Luke looks on. The suit is almost unfastened when emergency sirens go off. You jerk back from Parkhurst in alarm.
All of a sudden, something clicks and beeps. Kinda like the sound of John Luke’s computer when it turns on. Then a pinging sound.
Beeeeoooooooonnnnnnnngggg.
“Hello, Silas.”
The voice is coming from all around you. It seems to be emitting from the speakers throughout the vessel.
I think I’ve heard that voice before.
You wait for a moment, but it doesn’t say anything else. So you keep trying to open Ben Parkhurst’s space suit.
“Just what do you think you’re doing?”
Yeah, it sounds just like him.
You wonder if it can hear you. “Who’s that?”
“This is the Central Liaison Intelligence Neurotransmitter 1999. CLINT for short.”
You laugh and glance at John Luke. “Recognize that voice?”
He shakes his head.
“I was raised on that voice.” You address the speaker system again. “You know who you sound like, CLIN T ?”
“Of course I do.”
Now you’re laughing hysterically.
“Hey, that’s great, Jack. They actually programmed you to sound exactly like Clint Eastwood!”
“I don’t think it’s nice, you laughin’. You see, my mule don’t like people laughin’. He gets the crazy idea you’re laughin’ at him. Now if you apologize, like I know you’re going to, I might convince him that you really didn’t mean it.”
You have to literally bend over laughing. “John Luke, I know you’ve seen some Clint Eastwood movies. Come on.Let’s see. Dirty Harry . The lasagna westerns. You know — The Good, the Bad and the Ugly . And one of my favorites, The Outlaw Josey Wales .”
“I think I’ve seen some of them.”
“If you haven’t, drop everything and google his movies,” you say. “Well, not now , but when we get home. In like ten or twenty years.”
“We are approximately 2.4 years away from Earth,” CLINT says.
You can’t help but crack up again. Every time you hear the voice, it’s funny.
Then you realize what the computerized voice said.
“Two and a half . . . years ?” you ask. “You mean to tell me I aged almost three years taking a nap? Wow.”
No response.
“So why don’t you want me to open Pilot Parkhurst’s space suit?” you ask CLINT.
“This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.”
“This mission? Listen, Jack —”
“The name’s CLINT.” It’s as if Clint Eastwood is right here.
You’re two and a half years from Earth, and you’re talking to a computer that sounds like one of your favorite actors.
How much more awesome can this trip get?
Maybe an android will show up speaking like Robert
“I liked that spaceship,” you say as you watch it get farther and farther away.
The pod is barely big enough to fit both you and John Luke in two seats. You’ve been sitting in it for about two hours (since you can’t exactly stand —it’s that cramped) when you notice yourself drifting off to sleep.
“John Luke, are you getting tired?”
But he’s already out.
Not another cybersleep! Where we goin’ this time?
You try to fight it. You press some buttons and attempt to get in touch with Ashley. But your actions are becoming slower and slower. Your lips feel full.
Hey, this ain’t no sunshine.
What?
Listen, Jack, don’t go chasin’ waterfalls.
Huh?
And like that. Fast asleep.
Go here .
SUPER TROUPER
IT’S NOT LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING, Jack, but who else is gonna save the universe? Or at least this tiny little bit of world inside the DC Enterprise ? And waking up the pilot seems way less risky than driving a crazy-complicated spaceship on your own.
You decide to wake Pilot Ben Parkhurst first because, well, he’s the pilot, and he can pi the lot of you all the way back home if you wake him.
So you slowly start to open his space suit as John Luke looks on. The suit is almost unfastened when emergency sirens go off. You jerk back from Parkhurst in alarm.
All of a sudden, something clicks and beeps. Kinda like the sound of John Luke’s computer when it turns on. Then a pinging sound.
Beeeeoooooooonnnnnnnngggg.
“Hello, Silas.”
The voice is coming from all around you. It seems to be emitting from the speakers throughout the vessel.
I think I’ve heard that voice before.
You wait for a moment, but it doesn’t say anything else. So you keep trying to open Ben Parkhurst’s space suit.
“Just what do you think you’re doing?”
Yeah, it sounds just like him.
You wonder if it can hear you. “Who’s that?”
“This is the Central Liaison Intelligence Neurotransmitter 1999. CLINT for short.”
You laugh and glance at John Luke. “Recognize that voice?”
He shakes his head.
“I was raised on that voice.” You address the speaker system again. “You know who you sound like, CLIN T ?”
“Of course I do.”
Now you’re laughing hysterically.
“Hey, that’s great, Jack. They actually programmed you to sound exactly like Clint Eastwood!”
“I don’t think it’s nice, you laughin’. You see, my mule don’t like people laughin’. He gets the crazy idea you’re laughin’ at him. Now if you apologize, like I know you’re going to, I might convince him that you really didn’t mean it.”
You have to literally bend over laughing. “John Luke, I know you’ve seen some Clint Eastwood movies. Come on.Let’s see. Dirty Harry . The lasagna westerns. You know — The Good, the Bad and the Ugly . And one of my favorites, The Outlaw Josey Wales .”
“I think I’ve seen some of them.”
“If you haven’t, drop everything and google his movies,” you say. “Well, not now , but when we get home. In like ten or twenty years.”
“We are approximately 2.4 years away from Earth,” CLINT says.
You can’t help but crack up again. Every time you hear the voice, it’s funny.
Then you realize what the computerized voice said.
“Two and a half . . . years ?” you ask. “You mean to tell me I aged almost three years taking a nap? Wow.”
No response.
“So why don’t you want me to open Pilot Parkhurst’s space suit?” you ask CLINT.
“This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.”
“This mission? Listen, Jack —”
“The name’s CLINT.” It’s as if Clint Eastwood is right here.
You’re two and a half years from Earth, and you’re talking to a computer that sounds like one of your favorite actors.
How much more awesome can this trip get?
Maybe an android will show up speaking like Robert
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