closer, “Maybe the wine hasn’t worn off after all,” Kevin said.
After forty-five minutes they stopped looking at holos and began talking seriously about the child they’d come to create. Hair color, eye color, body type, features—classic or more contemporary? What sort of interests it would have. The level of intelligence—some parents went too far. The children had serious emotional problems later on.
Kevin asked Dr. Carmody to join them.
“Did you like any of the holos you saw?”
“They were all very impressive, Dr.,” Kevin said. “In fact they were all so good it got kind of confusing after a while. But I think we’ve started to have a pretty good idea of what we’re looking for.”
“Well, we’re certainly ready to proceed with the process any time you are,” Dr. Carmody said, his perfectly-modulated vidd-caster voice never more persuasive. “We just need to look over our standard agreement and get to work.”
“I’m sure that won’t be any problem,” Kevin said. But as he spoke he noticed that Jen no longer seemed happy. The tension of the past four months had tightened her face and given her eyes a somewhat frantic look.
Dr. Carmody had become aware of her sudden change, too. He glanced at Kevin, inclined his head vaguely toward Jen. He obviously expected Kevin to deal with this situation. It wasn’t the doctor’s place to do so.
But as Kevin started to put his hand on her arm, she stood up with enough force to make herself unsteady. Kevin tried to slide his arm around her waist to support her but she pulled away from him. She was suddenly, violently crying. “I can’t do this. It’s not fair to our boy. It’s not fair!”
And then before either man could quite respond effectively, Jen rushed to the door, opened it and disappeared.
Kevin started to run after her. Dr. Carmody stopped him. “Just remember. She’s been through a lot, Kevin. Don’t force her into this until she’s really ready. Obviously she’s having some difficulty with the process. There’s no rush with this.”
Kevin, scarcely listening, rushed out the door after his wife. She was much faster than he’d imagined. She wasn’t in the hall nor, when he reached the lobby, was she there. He hurried outside.
The sidewalk was crowded with people his own age, of his own status. Drink and drugs lent them the kind of happiness you usually saw only on vidd commercials.
He didn’t see Jen at first. Luckily he glimpsed her turning the far corner. He ran. People made wary room for him. Somebody running in a crowd like this instinctively made them nervous. A running man meant danger.
There was no time for apologies, no time for gently moving people aside. When he reached the corner, his clothes were disheveled and his face damp with sweat. He couldn’t find her. He felt sick, scared. She was in such a damned vulnerable state. He didn’t like to think of what going to the Baby Store might have triggered in her.
He quit running, falling against a street lamp to gather his breath. He got the sort of cold, disapproving glances that derelicts invited. While he was getting his breath back, he smelled the nearby river. The cold early spring smell of it. He wasn’t sure why but he felt summoned by the stark aroma of it.
In a half-dazed state, he began moving toward the water, the bridge that ran north-south coming in view as soon as he neared the end of the block.
She stood alone, staring down at the black, choppy water that was freezing. Though he knew it was probably best to leave her alone for a while, his need to hold her was so overpowering that he found himself walking toward her without quite realizing it until he was close enough to touch the sleeve of her coat.
She didn’t acknowledge him in any way, simply continued staring into the water. Down river the lights from two tug-boats could be seen, like the eyes of enormous water creatures moving through the night. In the further distance a foghorn
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