contain her emotion as she replied.
âThanks, itâs OK ... It wasnât your fault,â she said real low, trying to keep back her tears.
Tanai, also attempting to contain her emotions, continued the conversation despite the obviousâthat it might be more than either of them could handle.
âI should have never suggested doing that, and I shouldnât have continued to encourage you ... I will forever live with that guilt.â
âYou were just trying to be my friend, and at that time you were all I had.â
Tanai got up and went to sit closer to Charlene and held her. By this time both of their faces were soaked with tears and they had both felt a load lift from off their shoulders. After all these years, they finally were able to speak on that dreadful day. Charlene didnât know that Tanai felt the way she did, and she didnât know that all these years it weighed heavily on her heart as well. It felt kind of good, knowing that she hadnât been alone all those years after all. It felt good for them both to finally just let all their balled-up emotions and thoughts exit their souls. In that moment, all the distance that the painful memories had wedged between them was taken away. Just that fast they had become closer than they ever had been. All that pain finally brought them both some joy, even if only for a moment.
Chapter 14
C harlene spent the next few days in her apartment, just relaxing and trying to clear her head. She ran a few errands out on White Plains Road, went to the grocery store and to a few knickknack stores. She picked up some things she would need so she could settle down inside without having to go out for anything. Usually she kept on the move, trying to ignore all the issues and drama surrounding her. This time she decided to take it slow. She had taken a few days off work to get a grasp of things in her mind, and in her life.
âSlow Down,â by India Arie was playing out of her stereo as Charlene whisked around her apartment cleaning. She felt better than she had for the past few days. Her sit-down with Tanai left her feeling like everything would be just fine. Although Charlene grew up in the church, attending with her parents, she didnât consider herself very religious. She knew the Lord, and knew he was her shepherd; but she felt like with all the sins she had committed in her life she didnât know if she could claim spirituality. Still, she knew that although she was no angel, God was watching over her, and sending Tanai over was his way of telling her just that.
She was wearing a lime green tube top with black and lime boy shorts and flip-flops. Her toes and nails were manicured with a peach-colored nail polish, her hair was up in a bun and she had a white cleansing mask on her face. She hummed the words to the song seeping through her speakers.
âYouâre âbout to wreck your future
Running from your past
You need to slow down baby ...â
Charlene knew that that music truly spoke to the soul, because if this song wasnât the most appropriate song for her she didnât know what was.
She was dusting and throwing things away, and feeling mighty good about herself. The words of the song was making her feel how things could be much better. As she bounced and bopped around the apartment, her phone rang. She stopped and walked toward the phone, and when she checked the caller ID it was Rich. She looked at it for a few seconds and put the cordless back down. She definitely wasnât in the mood for any drama right now. Regardless of why he was calling, it wasnât anything she wanted to deal with. For once she had erased everybody, including Isaac, out of her thoughts and was feeling happy as Charlene. As Tanai had said, just thankful to be alive and healthy.
Charlene tried to go back to her bouncing and bopping and singing but she felt a slight distraction. The song finally went off, and the next song by
âThanks, itâs OK ... It wasnât your fault,â she said real low, trying to keep back her tears.
Tanai, also attempting to contain her emotions, continued the conversation despite the obviousâthat it might be more than either of them could handle.
âI should have never suggested doing that, and I shouldnât have continued to encourage you ... I will forever live with that guilt.â
âYou were just trying to be my friend, and at that time you were all I had.â
Tanai got up and went to sit closer to Charlene and held her. By this time both of their faces were soaked with tears and they had both felt a load lift from off their shoulders. After all these years, they finally were able to speak on that dreadful day. Charlene didnât know that Tanai felt the way she did, and she didnât know that all these years it weighed heavily on her heart as well. It felt kind of good, knowing that she hadnât been alone all those years after all. It felt good for them both to finally just let all their balled-up emotions and thoughts exit their souls. In that moment, all the distance that the painful memories had wedged between them was taken away. Just that fast they had become closer than they ever had been. All that pain finally brought them both some joy, even if only for a moment.
Chapter 14
C harlene spent the next few days in her apartment, just relaxing and trying to clear her head. She ran a few errands out on White Plains Road, went to the grocery store and to a few knickknack stores. She picked up some things she would need so she could settle down inside without having to go out for anything. Usually she kept on the move, trying to ignore all the issues and drama surrounding her. This time she decided to take it slow. She had taken a few days off work to get a grasp of things in her mind, and in her life.
âSlow Down,â by India Arie was playing out of her stereo as Charlene whisked around her apartment cleaning. She felt better than she had for the past few days. Her sit-down with Tanai left her feeling like everything would be just fine. Although Charlene grew up in the church, attending with her parents, she didnât consider herself very religious. She knew the Lord, and knew he was her shepherd; but she felt like with all the sins she had committed in her life she didnât know if she could claim spirituality. Still, she knew that although she was no angel, God was watching over her, and sending Tanai over was his way of telling her just that.
She was wearing a lime green tube top with black and lime boy shorts and flip-flops. Her toes and nails were manicured with a peach-colored nail polish, her hair was up in a bun and she had a white cleansing mask on her face. She hummed the words to the song seeping through her speakers.
âYouâre âbout to wreck your future
Running from your past
You need to slow down baby ...â
Charlene knew that that music truly spoke to the soul, because if this song wasnât the most appropriate song for her she didnât know what was.
She was dusting and throwing things away, and feeling mighty good about herself. The words of the song was making her feel how things could be much better. As she bounced and bopped around the apartment, her phone rang. She stopped and walked toward the phone, and when she checked the caller ID it was Rich. She looked at it for a few seconds and put the cordless back down. She definitely wasnât in the mood for any drama right now. Regardless of why he was calling, it wasnât anything she wanted to deal with. For once she had erased everybody, including Isaac, out of her thoughts and was feeling happy as Charlene. As Tanai had said, just thankful to be alive and healthy.
Charlene tried to go back to her bouncing and bopping and singing but she felt a slight distraction. The song finally went off, and the next song by
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