then I began to call to him in a low, soothing voice, attempting to bring him back to present day and company.
Finally, he started to pull himself out of it. When he opened his eyes and sat up with a start, I moved closer to him and murmured, "Hey, it's me. You're okay. You're awake now and everything's okay."
He blinked hard a few times and looked around.
"We're at my place," I added and after half a second he nodded, acknowledging me before muttering, "Shit. Sorry."
"That's okay. Happens to me all the time."
Immediately, he was far more alert than he'd been seconds before, his gaze focused on me. "You have a lot of nightmares?"
My alarm bells were ringing quietly but that didn't stop me from agreeing with a nod. Then I added, "Everyone in my life has nightmares. I thought they were normal."
"That's so fucking sad." Lucas ran a hand through his sweat-soaked hair, and then he laughed and I did too, because I realized how utterly ridiculous it sounded, truth or not.
And it was the truth. I got up from the bed and grabbed a washcloth. I wet it and cooled him down with it, starting with his face and moving to his neck and shoulders, and he let me, sitting stiffly and finally letting out a long sigh.
When I finished, he asked, "Brayden has a lot of nightmares?"
"Sometimes." I stared at him. "Do you?"
"I don't actually sleep a lot." Which translated to 'yes' in my mind. "Definitely not with a woman."
"I'm sure there's been a parade of them," I said dryly.
He didn't try to deny it. "I have a past, Ryn. But you're my future."
"I like hearing that."
"Good. Get used to it."
I decided to push my luck."Do I get to know about your past?" I left off the 'with women' part of the sentence, but Lucas wasn't stupid.
"What do you want to know?" His tone was unguarded but his body language wasn't.
"You've been in love."
"Yes," he said, almost cautiously. Of course, I'd wanted him to say no. "I mean, as much as I could've been."
"You were young?"
"Young enough to not know better," he admitted. "It was long distance."
"But you still remember her."
"I thought she was the one," he said quietly, and I was immediately, unrepentantly jealous.
"Where is she now?" I asked, hoping I was managing to keep the slight edge out of my voice.
"Far away."
"Is it bad that I'm relieved by that?"
"It's not something I want you to worry about," he told me.
"But you loved her."
He smiled. "I didn't know her, but I wanted to."
"You connected. I understand." I pointed to my Man in Trees portraits. "That's what those are about."
His eyes had a faraway look in them when he said, "Someone you wanted to love."
I nodded, stopping just short of saying, 'Someone I do.' But I was staring at him, saying that with my eyes about both the man in the pictures and him. Out loud, I simply said, "Yes," then melted against him.
"I guess we've both been through it," he murmured.
"Seems that way." He knew nothing, really, about my past, no more than the rest of the world did. But I think he knew there was more to the story. It wouldn't interest him, not with the same morbid, tabloid-like curiosity it would the rest of the world. He'd want to know how best to protect me.
The best way to protect him was to keep him away from me. God, how fucked up this all was…and how amazing at the same time.
Chapter Nine
L ate the next afternoon , I was paging through a few magazines Brayden had brought in with my mail when I came across an article I'd been dreading…and it wasn't even about me.
I slid it over toward Brayden. "I guess he's headed to the big leagues."
Brayden's gaze slid over the picture of my ex and ignored the carefully constructed article that I'm sure didn't talk about Jared Connor's complete and utter disdain for anyone's talent but his own.
But maybe that was just a bitter ex talking.
"His new book's coming out this week. There's lots of buzz around it because everything's under wraps. It's already been optioned for a movie."
I nodded.
Finally, he started to pull himself out of it. When he opened his eyes and sat up with a start, I moved closer to him and murmured, "Hey, it's me. You're okay. You're awake now and everything's okay."
He blinked hard a few times and looked around.
"We're at my place," I added and after half a second he nodded, acknowledging me before muttering, "Shit. Sorry."
"That's okay. Happens to me all the time."
Immediately, he was far more alert than he'd been seconds before, his gaze focused on me. "You have a lot of nightmares?"
My alarm bells were ringing quietly but that didn't stop me from agreeing with a nod. Then I added, "Everyone in my life has nightmares. I thought they were normal."
"That's so fucking sad." Lucas ran a hand through his sweat-soaked hair, and then he laughed and I did too, because I realized how utterly ridiculous it sounded, truth or not.
And it was the truth. I got up from the bed and grabbed a washcloth. I wet it and cooled him down with it, starting with his face and moving to his neck and shoulders, and he let me, sitting stiffly and finally letting out a long sigh.
When I finished, he asked, "Brayden has a lot of nightmares?"
"Sometimes." I stared at him. "Do you?"
"I don't actually sleep a lot." Which translated to 'yes' in my mind. "Definitely not with a woman."
"I'm sure there's been a parade of them," I said dryly.
He didn't try to deny it. "I have a past, Ryn. But you're my future."
"I like hearing that."
"Good. Get used to it."
I decided to push my luck."Do I get to know about your past?" I left off the 'with women' part of the sentence, but Lucas wasn't stupid.
"What do you want to know?" His tone was unguarded but his body language wasn't.
"You've been in love."
"Yes," he said, almost cautiously. Of course, I'd wanted him to say no. "I mean, as much as I could've been."
"You were young?"
"Young enough to not know better," he admitted. "It was long distance."
"But you still remember her."
"I thought she was the one," he said quietly, and I was immediately, unrepentantly jealous.
"Where is she now?" I asked, hoping I was managing to keep the slight edge out of my voice.
"Far away."
"Is it bad that I'm relieved by that?"
"It's not something I want you to worry about," he told me.
"But you loved her."
He smiled. "I didn't know her, but I wanted to."
"You connected. I understand." I pointed to my Man in Trees portraits. "That's what those are about."
His eyes had a faraway look in them when he said, "Someone you wanted to love."
I nodded, stopping just short of saying, 'Someone I do.' But I was staring at him, saying that with my eyes about both the man in the pictures and him. Out loud, I simply said, "Yes," then melted against him.
"I guess we've both been through it," he murmured.
"Seems that way." He knew nothing, really, about my past, no more than the rest of the world did. But I think he knew there was more to the story. It wouldn't interest him, not with the same morbid, tabloid-like curiosity it would the rest of the world. He'd want to know how best to protect me.
The best way to protect him was to keep him away from me. God, how fucked up this all was…and how amazing at the same time.
Chapter Nine
L ate the next afternoon , I was paging through a few magazines Brayden had brought in with my mail when I came across an article I'd been dreading…and it wasn't even about me.
I slid it over toward Brayden. "I guess he's headed to the big leagues."
Brayden's gaze slid over the picture of my ex and ignored the carefully constructed article that I'm sure didn't talk about Jared Connor's complete and utter disdain for anyone's talent but his own.
But maybe that was just a bitter ex talking.
"His new book's coming out this week. There's lots of buzz around it because everything's under wraps. It's already been optioned for a movie."
I nodded.
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