pregnant. Do you hear me? I will not be pregnant .”
Sayed’s dark eyes widened, his features moving into lines of unwelcome sympathy. “It is not something you can will away, Aaliyah, nor do I believe you truly wish to.”
“I was not setting some sort of mantrap, ” she all but shouted.
“I believe you. That is not what I referred to.”
“What, then?” she demanded belligerently
“Would you will our child out of existence if you could?”
She staggered back a step, her earlier nausea returning. How could she answer that?
Of course she would never will a child out of existence. She’d spent a lifetime believing her father didn’t want her, no matter what Hena had tried to convince Liyah. She could never visit that lack of acceptance on her own child.
Not even in the womb.
But there was another truth she could not ignore. “I do not want to be pregnant.”
And she didn’t care if those two attitudes seemed to be at odds. In her mind, one had nothing to do with the other.
If she were pregnant, she would make the best of it, but Liyah categorically did not want to be pregnant.
“Why did she have to die?” she asked of no one in particular, knowing only that she wanted to talk to Hena one last time with a pain that was tearing at her.
Sayed laid his hand on her arm. “I know you miss her, but your mother didn’t leave you on purpose, ya ghazal .”
Liyah jumped, not having realized he’d moved so close. She looked up at Sayed, unsure why his words, his very presence, was so comforting. It shouldn’t be. “Everything has been so hard since she left. Everything.”
“It will be okay.”
Confusion, grief and pain a maelstrom of emotion inside her, Liyah shook her head. “No. It can’t be. The Amaris will know they were right to reject me. They’ll want to take my baby away, too. She’ll grow up without her father like I did.”
Liyah’s thoughts spun with dizzying speed, no chance for her to take hold of one.
“But don’t you ever accuse her of blackmailing you,” Liyah demanded fiercely. “Don’t you dare pretend you don’t remember me. You don’t have to acknowledge her, but you won’t treat her like that, like she’s garbage under your shoe. Do you understand?”
CHAPTER EIGHT
“P ERHAPS I SHOULD get Abdullah-Hasiba,” Yusuf said.
Liyah spun toward him. “No. You won’t tell her. This is my business.”
Her business. No one else’s. She was alone now.
On one level, Liyah realized that she was flying apart, but she could do nothing to stop it. Her ability to repress her feelings and put on a cool front had deserted her completely.
After a wary glance at her, Yusuf looked toward Sayed for direction.
His emir ignored him, moving forward so Liyah had no choice but to back up until he had her pressed against the wall. She should have felt trapped, but her rampaging heart started to calm, her breathing slowing down to match his even inhalations.
He filled her vision and dominated her other senses, leaving no room for anything else, including her escalating panic.
Cupping her cheeks, Sayed waited until Liyah met his gaze and held it. “Listen to me, ya ghaliyah ghazal . If you carry my child, we will face this together. You are not alone.”
If only that were true. He could call her his precious gazelle, but she wasn’t his. She wasn’t precious to him.
No matter how beautiful he found her, women who didn’t come from money or royalty, women like Liyah, who worked for a living, didn’t exist for him in his world.
She almost laughed with gallows humor. “You don’t even think I’m good enough for an affair. You aren’t going to raise a child with me.”
And why were they even talking like this. She wasn’t pregnant. She couldn’t be.
“I told you, the differences in our lives are just that. Not levels of superiority.”
“Right. Mrs. Palace Aid, remember that?”
He huffed out a sound that was almost a laugh. “I believe that, after her betrayal, I
Sayed’s dark eyes widened, his features moving into lines of unwelcome sympathy. “It is not something you can will away, Aaliyah, nor do I believe you truly wish to.”
“I was not setting some sort of mantrap, ” she all but shouted.
“I believe you. That is not what I referred to.”
“What, then?” she demanded belligerently
“Would you will our child out of existence if you could?”
She staggered back a step, her earlier nausea returning. How could she answer that?
Of course she would never will a child out of existence. She’d spent a lifetime believing her father didn’t want her, no matter what Hena had tried to convince Liyah. She could never visit that lack of acceptance on her own child.
Not even in the womb.
But there was another truth she could not ignore. “I do not want to be pregnant.”
And she didn’t care if those two attitudes seemed to be at odds. In her mind, one had nothing to do with the other.
If she were pregnant, she would make the best of it, but Liyah categorically did not want to be pregnant.
“Why did she have to die?” she asked of no one in particular, knowing only that she wanted to talk to Hena one last time with a pain that was tearing at her.
Sayed laid his hand on her arm. “I know you miss her, but your mother didn’t leave you on purpose, ya ghazal .”
Liyah jumped, not having realized he’d moved so close. She looked up at Sayed, unsure why his words, his very presence, was so comforting. It shouldn’t be. “Everything has been so hard since she left. Everything.”
“It will be okay.”
Confusion, grief and pain a maelstrom of emotion inside her, Liyah shook her head. “No. It can’t be. The Amaris will know they were right to reject me. They’ll want to take my baby away, too. She’ll grow up without her father like I did.”
Liyah’s thoughts spun with dizzying speed, no chance for her to take hold of one.
“But don’t you ever accuse her of blackmailing you,” Liyah demanded fiercely. “Don’t you dare pretend you don’t remember me. You don’t have to acknowledge her, but you won’t treat her like that, like she’s garbage under your shoe. Do you understand?”
CHAPTER EIGHT
“P ERHAPS I SHOULD get Abdullah-Hasiba,” Yusuf said.
Liyah spun toward him. “No. You won’t tell her. This is my business.”
Her business. No one else’s. She was alone now.
On one level, Liyah realized that she was flying apart, but she could do nothing to stop it. Her ability to repress her feelings and put on a cool front had deserted her completely.
After a wary glance at her, Yusuf looked toward Sayed for direction.
His emir ignored him, moving forward so Liyah had no choice but to back up until he had her pressed against the wall. She should have felt trapped, but her rampaging heart started to calm, her breathing slowing down to match his even inhalations.
He filled her vision and dominated her other senses, leaving no room for anything else, including her escalating panic.
Cupping her cheeks, Sayed waited until Liyah met his gaze and held it. “Listen to me, ya ghaliyah ghazal . If you carry my child, we will face this together. You are not alone.”
If only that were true. He could call her his precious gazelle, but she wasn’t his. She wasn’t precious to him.
No matter how beautiful he found her, women who didn’t come from money or royalty, women like Liyah, who worked for a living, didn’t exist for him in his world.
She almost laughed with gallows humor. “You don’t even think I’m good enough for an affair. You aren’t going to raise a child with me.”
And why were they even talking like this. She wasn’t pregnant. She couldn’t be.
“I told you, the differences in our lives are just that. Not levels of superiority.”
“Right. Mrs. Palace Aid, remember that?”
He huffed out a sound that was almost a laugh. “I believe that, after her betrayal, I
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