in Patrick being white. Her question took me by surprise, not only because it was asked, but also because of how nonchalantly it rolled off her tongue. What happened to my cute little niece, and where did this young lady come from asking such adult questions?
“Is it weird?”
“No, it’s not weird. It takes a little getting used to… having a male roommate period, but not because he’s white.”
“Oh.”
Since Brianna had just put me on the spot, I figured turnabout was fair play. I was dying to know what was going on between her and Crystal.
“So, I was talking to your Mom…”
Brianna cut me off by blowing out her breath.
“See, that right there is what I wanted to talk to you about. What’s going on, Brianna? Why the sudden attitude towards your Mom?”
She just looked down at her empty plate. I decided to back up and try being less confrontational. “Bri, you know that your mother loves you very much, and so do I. If something is wrong, bothering you, I hope you know that you can talk to either one of us.”
“Well, maybe I can talk to you .”
“Why do you feel you can’t go to Crystal?”
Brianna looked at me like she was trying to explain simple arithmetic and I just wasn’t getting it. “My mother doesn’t have time to talk to me anymore. We used to talk all the time, do things together. But lately, she’s been too busy with…”
“With what?”
“She doesn’t think I know, but I do. I’m not stupid and I’m not blind.”
“Honey, no one thinks you’re stupid, but I can’t help with… with anything… until you tell me what it is that’s bothering you.”
Brianna sighed deeply, pushed her plate away from her like what she had to say required too much room, and crossed her thin arms across her chest. “My mother has a boyfriend.”
Was that all?
I was relieved to hear that Brianna wasn’t in trouble at school or anything like that, but I didn’t want to downplay Brianna’s feelings over Crystal having a new man in her life either. No one likes to have their feelings trivialized, and kids were no exception. I wanted to reassure Brianna that she was, and would always be, number one in her mother’s heart. I wanted to tell her that if her mother found someone who could make her happy, she should be glad for her and try to give this new guy a chance, but all that came out was—
“Oh.”
With all the textbook replies I could have given, I didn’t feel comfortable discussing Crystal’s business or, as my mother would say, “grown folks business,” with her own child.
“Have you met him?”
“No”, she sulked. “She hasn’t come right out and said anything, but I know that’s what it is. She is always changing her voice when I enter the room and she’s on the phone. Miss Beatrice has been coming over to take care of me more than usual cause now she’s always got things to do , and one night I woke up in the middle of the night thirsty and I heard her talking to a man in the living room. I couldn’t hear what they were saying exactly, and I knew if I opened my door she’d hear me and make me go back to bed.”
“Sweetie, I don’t know what to say. Your mother is a grown woman and I’m not sure we should be having this conversation. Besides, you don’t know for sure that she’s dating someone.”
Brianna raised her voice and I noticed there were tears brimming on her eyelids. “Then why is she acting like that and who was that she was talking to? I know she has a boyfriend and she must be too ashamed of me to want me to meet him.”
“Hey! You know better than that, girl. Your mother cherishes the ground you walk on. She couldn’t be more proud of you. Being a single mother is hard work. Every decision your mother makes in life, she has to consider you first, and she does it gladly because she wants
“Is it weird?”
“No, it’s not weird. It takes a little getting used to… having a male roommate period, but not because he’s white.”
“Oh.”
Since Brianna had just put me on the spot, I figured turnabout was fair play. I was dying to know what was going on between her and Crystal.
“So, I was talking to your Mom…”
Brianna cut me off by blowing out her breath.
“See, that right there is what I wanted to talk to you about. What’s going on, Brianna? Why the sudden attitude towards your Mom?”
She just looked down at her empty plate. I decided to back up and try being less confrontational. “Bri, you know that your mother loves you very much, and so do I. If something is wrong, bothering you, I hope you know that you can talk to either one of us.”
“Well, maybe I can talk to you .”
“Why do you feel you can’t go to Crystal?”
Brianna looked at me like she was trying to explain simple arithmetic and I just wasn’t getting it. “My mother doesn’t have time to talk to me anymore. We used to talk all the time, do things together. But lately, she’s been too busy with…”
“With what?”
“She doesn’t think I know, but I do. I’m not stupid and I’m not blind.”
“Honey, no one thinks you’re stupid, but I can’t help with… with anything… until you tell me what it is that’s bothering you.”
Brianna sighed deeply, pushed her plate away from her like what she had to say required too much room, and crossed her thin arms across her chest. “My mother has a boyfriend.”
Was that all?
I was relieved to hear that Brianna wasn’t in trouble at school or anything like that, but I didn’t want to downplay Brianna’s feelings over Crystal having a new man in her life either. No one likes to have their feelings trivialized, and kids were no exception. I wanted to reassure Brianna that she was, and would always be, number one in her mother’s heart. I wanted to tell her that if her mother found someone who could make her happy, she should be glad for her and try to give this new guy a chance, but all that came out was—
“Oh.”
With all the textbook replies I could have given, I didn’t feel comfortable discussing Crystal’s business or, as my mother would say, “grown folks business,” with her own child.
“Have you met him?”
“No”, she sulked. “She hasn’t come right out and said anything, but I know that’s what it is. She is always changing her voice when I enter the room and she’s on the phone. Miss Beatrice has been coming over to take care of me more than usual cause now she’s always got things to do , and one night I woke up in the middle of the night thirsty and I heard her talking to a man in the living room. I couldn’t hear what they were saying exactly, and I knew if I opened my door she’d hear me and make me go back to bed.”
“Sweetie, I don’t know what to say. Your mother is a grown woman and I’m not sure we should be having this conversation. Besides, you don’t know for sure that she’s dating someone.”
Brianna raised her voice and I noticed there were tears brimming on her eyelids. “Then why is she acting like that and who was that she was talking to? I know she has a boyfriend and she must be too ashamed of me to want me to meet him.”
“Hey! You know better than that, girl. Your mother cherishes the ground you walk on. She couldn’t be more proud of you. Being a single mother is hard work. Every decision your mother makes in life, she has to consider you first, and she does it gladly because she wants
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