Shadowhunters and Downworlders by Cassandra Clare

asking, in essence, whether committing murder merits that
he
should die too. In answer, God grants Cain mercy. He bestows upon him the Mark, saying, “Whoever slays Cain before seven generations will be punished” (Genesis 4:15).
    Simon wonders, in
City of Fallen Angels
, why he’s saddled with this burden: “He wasn’t Cain, who had killed his brother, but the curse believed he was.” He thinks too, “That’s part of the curse, isn’t it? ‘A fugitive and a wanderer shalt thou be.’” And
I
wondered why Simon still considers the Mark of Cain a “curse” when he did nothing to deserve it. After reading these passages in Genesis, though, I think I get it: Simon isn’t like Cain because he killed his brother. He’s like Cain because he
wants
to kill his brother—his metaphorical one, anyway. Part of Simon wants to drink human blood, to kill his brothers and sisters in humanity.
    And part of him always will. “Sin rests at the door,” God says to Cain. The Hebrew word for sin is
chet,
and it appears in reference to a slingshot that has missed its target. The Hebrew word for repentance is
teshuva
, which means, literally, “to return.” In explaining God’s response to Cain’s inadequate sacrifice, the Jewish sage Sforno explains: “If you succumb to your evil inclination then punishment and evil will be as ever present as if they lived in your doorway.” 3
    What’s an evil inclination, you ask? The Jewish idea of the
Yetzer Hara
(evil inclination) exists in opposition to the
Yetzer HaTov
(positive inclination). Through no fault of his own, from the moment Simon was transformed into a vampire, he is tempted, as Cain was, to spill human blood—to kill those who were once his brothers and sisters in humanity. This
Yetzer Hara
, Simon’s nonhuman, evil inclination, is in constant opposition to his moral aims: his
Yetzer HaTov
, his positive inclination. It tempts him to “miss” his target, to stray from his beliefs and identity as a Jew and as a former human. In an argument with werewolf (and potential love interest) Maia Roberts, she calls him a monster, and “Some part of him wanted to fight her, to wrestle her down and puncture her skin with his teeth, to gulp her hot blood. The rest of him felt as if it were screaming” (
City of Ashes
).
    It is right after he muses about the nature of his curse at the beginning of
City of Fallen Angels
that Simon, who has so far managed to stave off his thirst, his inclination to kill, succumbs to temptation and attacks Maureen. Before this, before Simon sins and “misses” his target in such a major,unalterable way, he arguably doesn’t deserve to be a fugitive and a wanderer—the “curse” of the Mark of Cain, as he views it. So before he attacks Maureen, what has Simon done to warrant the terrible, damning mercy of the Mark? Is it an injustice?
    I don’t think it is. I think—even though Simon doesn’t yet—that the Mark
itself
isn’t his curse; the Mark isn’t what makes him a fugitive, a wanderer in exile. So what does?
    His refusal to assimilate.
Cultural Assimilation
    There are benefits to being a vampire in the Shadowhunters’ world. Immortality. Beauty. Strength. Community.
    But Simon rejects that community. He rejects vampire ideals by not relishing his vampire status. He consumes blood to stay alive—but only animal blood. He tries to hide the truth from his mother—because he is ashamed and in denial about what he has become. And perhaps most tellingly, Simon resists interacting with other vampires. He doesn’t live with them. He doesn’t feed with them. He doesn’t befriend them. He behaves more like vampirism is a disease he
has
, rather than something that defines who and what he
is
. He does not see himself as being one of
them
.
    But if he chose to, he could be.
    When Simon finally