Shadowed Heart by Laura Florand

spend the next six weeks or more eating only peaches!” he snapped, his face hardening.
    Peaches sounded like a lot more nourishment than she’d managed so far today. God, she hated it when people tried to tell her what she could or couldn’t eat. Her whole being revolted.
    Fuck you for not being happy, Luc. You begged me for this. And now it’s happening in my body.
    “If I can even keep this down,” she managed.
    That slashing, beautiful frown. He used to frown a lot at her. Look her over with cool dismissive eyes as if she was nothing. “Summer, how can you not keep a peach down? It’s light and fresh and—“
    She rolled over onto her knees suddenly, gagging. It wrenched her body, and she hated it. God, she hated it. She hated most that it had to happen in front of Luc, and she sagged afterward, with her forehead pressed against the stone, not looking at him. “Like that, I guess,” she muttered, trying again not to cry.
    A heavy, warm hand stroked her back. “Summer. This is insane.”
    “I asked the doctor.” Scheduled an appointment, sat there in the waiting room, explained her problem while the doctor looked at her as if she was an idiot. You’re pregnant. That’s what pregnancy is like. You’ll be lucky if it doesn’t last six months, like it did me. “She said it was normal.”
    His eyes crinkled. “You went to see the doctor again?”
    Well, yes. At least it was someone to talk to.
    “You didn’t even tell me you’d gone.” Luc stared at her.
    She shrugged. When would I? Either you’re working or I’m throwing up. Yeah, it’s not exactly the cozy picture of family life I imagined.
    Well…to be truthful, it was the one she had imagined in her dark moments, when all she could see was herself repeating the cycle her parents had started in her. But it wasn’t the one she imagined when she believed in herself and Luc and had hope.
    Luc watched her for a moment, frowning. “Did she say anything that would help ?”
    Summer shrugged again. His hand rode her shoulder muscles with the movement, and her loneliness eased. “She said different women had different little tricks, but there wasn’t any magic cure. She can give me medicine if it gets really impossible, but I’m not sure I know what impossible is. I think most women just get through this.” Longing rose in her again for female voices swapping stories, so that she would know. Know what it was like, know how they did it, know when she was supposed to see a doctor or just tough it up.
    Luc made a face. “Could medicine hurt the baby?”
    “I don’t know. That’s why I’m not taking it.”
    Heavy petting, up and down her back, easing the nausea more than any other thing could. “Do you think you would like to come sit on the restaurant terrace? We could take you through the front where the smells aren’t so strong. Or do you want me to walk you home?”
    She did want to sit on the restaurant terrace. Even if it wouldn’t be anywhere near him really, while he worked, it seemed more a part of things. So much better than being in their home by herself, looking at internet forums on pregnancy and trying to get through the day’s nausea. But getting to that terrace seemed so hard. She rolled back over into a sitting position, slumping. “I kind of like it right here,” she whispered.
    “Summer.” Luc’s face twisted in frustrated distress.
    “I just wish you’d talk more loudly,” she muttered. “When you’re working in there.”
    “What?”
    “Nothing.”
    He stared at her a moment, black eyes trying to see into her soul. She offered him a weak smile, not her best effort, but the bouts of nausea didn’t leave her with much inside her, not even smiles. “Don’t worry about it,” she said. “I’m not the first woman to survive pregnancy, you know. I’ll manage.”
    “Right.” He crouched, frowning at her. “Right.”
    “I will, Luc. I’ll manage on my own.” You’re the only person this baby can count on,