Shadow Traffic by Richard Burgin

forgetting cycle, just like Dr. Rossi talks about, forgetting almost everything that happened to me and never learning from my past and so never being able to think clearly about my future. I mean, how much can you even care about your future when you know you’re going to forget almost all of it right after you live it?”
    Officer E looked profoundly sad. “You’ve articulated the tragic dilemma of pre-Memo consciousness very well, Andrew, very movingly. Now can you tell me concisely exactly how Memo has changed your life?”
    â€œMy general memory has increased tremendously, twentyfold, at least, which has had all kinds of practical benefits at my job and in my daily life, but all that pales before, if I may say so, the sheer beauty and joy of truly remembering my life. And as for those parts that are painful to remember, I now use them as greatlearning opportunities, as Dr. Rossi has been teaching us to. Also, I want to say that since I took the Special Focus Seminars with Dr. Rossi I’ve begun to develop my redirective abilities for the first time. Lately I’ve been focusing on my early childhood, five to eleven to be precise, and … well, let me just say that it’s been the most incredible experience of my life.”
    â€œAgain, very moving. Perhaps you should have been a teacher instead of a librarian.”
    â€œI wanted to …,” he said, then noticing a slight look of irritation in Officer E, let the rest of his answer go unsaid.
    â€œI wish you could speak to some of those young gang members in Oblivion who still could be saved by Memo … and perhaps you will some day. How do you feel about Project Memo, then, Andrew? How do you feel about the organization that brought Memo into your life?”
    â€œI feel very grateful, eternally grateful.”
    â€œEnough to do some important work for us that might even jeopardize your personal security?”
    He felt his heart beat; it was what he feared from the moment Officer E began describing Oblivion, yet he heard himself once again say yes to Officer E and moreover felt a strong sense of pride doing so.

    From the moment he agreed to go undercover and join Oblivion, everything changed, even the atmosphere around him. Though his training as a librarian perhaps made him prone to analyzing or “classifying” his feelings more than the average person, he couldn’t find any way to describe this somewhat amorphous yet definite alteration in both his thoughts and surroundings. Itwas somewhat like a dream except that he was hypervigilant, as if always being watched or judged. It began after his meeting with Officer E, when he was finally out on the chilly November streets. He immediately felt he was being followed.
    It was surprisingly late and he was hungry. The sky was already darkly purple as he started walking west toward Azure, his favorite cafeteria, where he often ate after the meetings. Before he’d walked a block he felt it—the same pattern of steps and silences by his pursuer, the same sense—confirmed the one time he turned to look behind himself—that he was being followed. Maybe it was someone from security at the organization, standard procedure that he shouldn’t take personally. Yet it was hard not to feel concerned. They had just entrusted him with a tremendous responsibility. If they trusted him enough to do it why would they also distrust him enough to have him followed? Yet given the very quiet life he led, with so few friends or enemies, wouldn’t his pursuer have to be connected to the organization? Who else knew him at this point?
    He continued walking toward Azure, being careful not to increase or decrease his speed as his pursuer followed about fifty feet behind. Finally, just before entering the restaurant, he paused, as if looking at a newspaper at an outdoor stand, then turned to face him.
    At first he saw nothing or just the late afternoon blur of New York.