THREE HOURS HAVE PASSED SINCE James knocked on my door, three hours since Brisban texted me, and three hours of me sitting in my living room, staring out the window in disbelief. It started to rain and as the rain drops explode in tiny bursts of blue against the glass, I imagine them as tiny blue bombs. One after the other they explode into nothing as they slide down the window into a puddle. I feel like a puddle right now as well. James was the bomb and I’m collateral damage. My phone dings yet again, pulling me from my thoughts.
Brisban: You there?
I sigh and try to formulate a way to respond. My mind’s so jumbled that I have no idea what to say to him. Another ding.
Brisban: I’m free tonight and I’d like to see you if possible.
Booty call, that’s what this is. I hate that word but, right now, having my brains fucked out sounds pretty damn appealing. No talking, no words, just pure unadulterated fucking. I don’t want to think about the tornado that showed up on my doorstep today.
I reply. Me: Sorry for my delayed response. I would love that. What time and where?
Brisban: Same hotel as last time. Eight o’clock. I will text you the room number beforehand. See you tonight, beautiful Candace.
Dragging myself up off the sofa and over to my desk, I decide to get some work accomplished before getting ready for my sex date tonight. That’s what I’ve decided to call these meetings because that’s what they are, sex. I’m certainly not going to delude myself into ever thinking they’re anything more. With thoughts of James and our past rolling around in my head like a big bowling ball, I can’t possibly think of anything more with anyone else.
I’ve actually gotten caught up in Dawn’s story, more so than I have her others. I kept finding myself reading without editing because I’m more into the story than my work. I’m invested in the characters and that usually doesn’t happen when I’m in work mode.
Hearing him say those three words brought tears to my eyes. We had only been dating six months but I knew I loved him. Hearing him return that love solidified every feeling I’d felt over the past few months.
“I love you too, Brian. I love you so much.”
His big strong arms scooped me up and spun me around. It was almost like being in a fairytale. Then he whispered two words that left me breathless.
“Marry me.”
My phone rings before I can read any further. It’s Janette.
“Hey,” I sigh into the phone.
“What in the actual fuck, C? I got your text about James. Holy mother fuck! Please tell me you told that asshole to fuck off.” To say that Janette despises James would be an understatement. She hates him, a lot.
“Yes, I told him to leave and never come back. But it was surprising. It hurt all over again seeing him.”
I’m rolling a pen back and forth on my desk, picturing what he looked like standing there in my doorway. He’s still so handsome. Why does he have to be so handsome?
“Oh, no you don’t. None of that shit. Erase it from your mind, C. Do not, under any circumstances, look back. You’ve come too far. He had his chance and he fucked it up. Don’t let him mess with your head.”
“I’m not letting him mess with my head. Seeing him so unexpectedly like that just really threw me for a loop. And Janette, he’s still so handsome. I can’t help but melt a little on the inside when I see him, even after all this time. Even after what he did to me, when I look at him, I feel weak.”
I lean back in my chair and let my head drop backward. This is just too unbelievable. I never, in a million years, thought James would be back on my doorstep a year after shattering our life together and asking me to forgive him.
“Go see your hot piece of sex tonight and eradicate this from your mind. That’s my advice. I watched you fall apart over what James did. I watched as you put yourself back together. Don’t let him steal your new
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