mistress and the zits. Instead, they want to talk about her demureness, her Marilyn-esque figure, and her “fabulous auburn updo.”
Her dress is attributed to a variety of designers, or put down as “vintage.” Her shoes feature heavily in each article, however, and are correctly attributed every time.
Two weeks later, she’s the opening guest on the Jonathan Ross show on BBC1. Millions of TV viewers watch her sit on the famous sofa and tell the story about the monkey and what a privilege it was to work with so many talentedpeople. Jonathan Ross, however, has noticed that the real story is how good she suddenly looks.
“Because you had a few problems in that department, didn’t you?”
Graciously, and going only slightly strawberry, she admits she did.
“But you’re looking stunning tonight. Isn’t she, ladies and gentlemen?”
She is. Everybody applauds. She still has the glow about her that’s been there since the awards. She’s wearing Granny’s blue lace Dior cocktail dress, which Crow has been frantically adapting for her, and the trusty Louboutins, which by fashion math are working out to be positively cheap. You’d think she’d spent her life in vintage couture.
All the fashion press are in agreement after this outing. Jenny Merritt is a teen style queen and they can’t wait to see what she’ll show up in next.
In the days that follow, her first free handbag is delivered. Then her second. And three free pairs of shoes. None of which fit Jenny’s growing feet, but it’s a nice gesture. Then an invitation arrives to open a ward at a children’s hospital, and another to launch a soft drink. And a vast bouquet of flowers from the producers of Kid Code , to say “job well done.” And a one-line text fromJoe Yule to say he heard she was on TV and hoped it went OK.
It’s a shame you can’t frame texts. I hope Jenny doesn’t get carried away and embroider it on her pillow, or worse (as I’ve heard Sexy Girlfriend did) have it tattooed somewhere private. HAH! I wonder what would happen if Jenny started telling that story instead of the one about the monkey.
Chapter 17
I t’s the children’s ward opening that annoys Edie the most.
She just about manages to handle the free bags and shoes and party invitations, but she says the idea of being asked to upstage a bunch of sick children just because you looked good in a frock on TV practically makes her want to throw up.
This doesn’t go down well with Jenny, who accepts the invitation partly to annoy Edie and comes back from the hospital saying what a MARVELOUS time she had and how THRILLED all the children were to see her and how the older ones were PARTICULARLY excited that she showed up in her Louboutins.
This makes Edie even crosser, because she says if there’s anything worse than swanning around a children’s ward like Lady Bountiful just because you’ve been on a TV sofa, it’s doing it in STILETTOS. Jennysays Edie’s just jealous and Edie does her most sarcastic laugh and says she wouldn’t be seen dead in those magazines—they’re only read by people like me—and Jenny gets a bit carried away and says that’s true, we wouldn’t be interested in Edie even if she were dead, and they stop talking to each other for a while and channel all communication through me.
This is not great for me because Jenny mostly wants to talk about boys. Definitely not smoky, green-eyed gods of hotness. Not those, oh no. Anything but those. But boys in general have suddenly become a bit of a pet subject. And Edie wants to talk about Internet campaigning and her new project to help build schools for the Invisible Children in Uganda. She says her website’s been getting thousands of new hits recently and (I quote) she wants to “harness its popularity to improve awareness of the plight of displaced children in areas of conflict.”
Which is great in theory. Fabulous and worthwhile and I’m really proud of her. I’ve even bought a bracelet to
Her dress is attributed to a variety of designers, or put down as “vintage.” Her shoes feature heavily in each article, however, and are correctly attributed every time.
Two weeks later, she’s the opening guest on the Jonathan Ross show on BBC1. Millions of TV viewers watch her sit on the famous sofa and tell the story about the monkey and what a privilege it was to work with so many talentedpeople. Jonathan Ross, however, has noticed that the real story is how good she suddenly looks.
“Because you had a few problems in that department, didn’t you?”
Graciously, and going only slightly strawberry, she admits she did.
“But you’re looking stunning tonight. Isn’t she, ladies and gentlemen?”
She is. Everybody applauds. She still has the glow about her that’s been there since the awards. She’s wearing Granny’s blue lace Dior cocktail dress, which Crow has been frantically adapting for her, and the trusty Louboutins, which by fashion math are working out to be positively cheap. You’d think she’d spent her life in vintage couture.
All the fashion press are in agreement after this outing. Jenny Merritt is a teen style queen and they can’t wait to see what she’ll show up in next.
In the days that follow, her first free handbag is delivered. Then her second. And three free pairs of shoes. None of which fit Jenny’s growing feet, but it’s a nice gesture. Then an invitation arrives to open a ward at a children’s hospital, and another to launch a soft drink. And a vast bouquet of flowers from the producers of Kid Code , to say “job well done.” And a one-line text fromJoe Yule to say he heard she was on TV and hoped it went OK.
It’s a shame you can’t frame texts. I hope Jenny doesn’t get carried away and embroider it on her pillow, or worse (as I’ve heard Sexy Girlfriend did) have it tattooed somewhere private. HAH! I wonder what would happen if Jenny started telling that story instead of the one about the monkey.
Chapter 17
I t’s the children’s ward opening that annoys Edie the most.
She just about manages to handle the free bags and shoes and party invitations, but she says the idea of being asked to upstage a bunch of sick children just because you looked good in a frock on TV practically makes her want to throw up.
This doesn’t go down well with Jenny, who accepts the invitation partly to annoy Edie and comes back from the hospital saying what a MARVELOUS time she had and how THRILLED all the children were to see her and how the older ones were PARTICULARLY excited that she showed up in her Louboutins.
This makes Edie even crosser, because she says if there’s anything worse than swanning around a children’s ward like Lady Bountiful just because you’ve been on a TV sofa, it’s doing it in STILETTOS. Jennysays Edie’s just jealous and Edie does her most sarcastic laugh and says she wouldn’t be seen dead in those magazines—they’re only read by people like me—and Jenny gets a bit carried away and says that’s true, we wouldn’t be interested in Edie even if she were dead, and they stop talking to each other for a while and channel all communication through me.
This is not great for me because Jenny mostly wants to talk about boys. Definitely not smoky, green-eyed gods of hotness. Not those, oh no. Anything but those. But boys in general have suddenly become a bit of a pet subject. And Edie wants to talk about Internet campaigning and her new project to help build schools for the Invisible Children in Uganda. She says her website’s been getting thousands of new hits recently and (I quote) she wants to “harness its popularity to improve awareness of the plight of displaced children in areas of conflict.”
Which is great in theory. Fabulous and worthwhile and I’m really proud of her. I’ve even bought a bracelet to
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