Sentinel - Devil Riders MC Book 1 (MC Romance Novel with FREE Bonus Novel!) by Ashley Rhodes
Authors: Ashley Rhodes
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from? What sort of past tied you so completely?
“Even if you can’t break free, can’t you move in that direction?”
“What do you mean?”
“Can’t you slowly shed some responsibilities and only take on new ones that lead you where you want to go?”
His arm tightened around her and something shifted in his eyes. “You’re talking about relationships now.”
She was. She was babbling about herself as much as she was him, although her feelings made it hard to separate the two.
“You talk about the reality of your past. The reality of mine is that I’ve made some horrible mistakes. I’ve convinced myself I could love men who only seemed to promise security. As it turned out, all they offered was pain.”
“That’s a past you can walk away from. You have to choose differently.”
“But I don’t trust my judgment anymore.”
“Then trust your own heart, not promises from other people.”
Those simple words resonated with her but frightened her too.
“The heart isn’t all that smart. It wants passion. The heart isn’t thinking about the future.”
“And the future matters?”
She’d never heard anyone question that idea before, and it startled her. She stared out at the shimmering lights and felt the tug of that horizon, imagined being on that motorcycle, riding behind Rafe as they headed toward it just to see what was there. That was a future, but a vague one. It was more of a promise of the heart than a plan.
He turned her to face him, holding her by the shoulders and she looked up at his face.
“I’m not one to talk. I haven’t done well with relationships, Chrissy. I’ve fucked up pretty good and I think part of it was from thinking about a relationship as a thing all by itself. I wanted a relationship instead of understanding the importance of each day. Being with someone because you want to be with them, because doing anything else pales by comparison, makes me feel alive. But being in a relationship, just the sound of that makes the feeling of being trapped, tied down, almost intolerable. So when someone says we should promise we’ll be together forever, I can’t know if that means they’re hoping to feel that joy of being together every day, or if they are trying to lock down something that can’t be even seen or analyzed, even less held onto.”
She swallowed. Her trembling heart made her shiver. She knew he was sincere. He could’ve lied to her, told her she would be his forevermore and she would have happily let him seduce her. She would have let herself believe in a future with him, that he would always be hers. Instead he told her the truth. She sensed his resolve. He brought her to this place to tell her that truth, to warn her off, and let her see who he really was. A risk taker.
Risk takers were trouble. A man who wouldn’t commit to her was someone she could never count on. Rafe was a risk taker and she wanted him with every part of her being. The man Rafe admitted to being, the man who wouldn’t plan a future, was exactly the man she loved—because of who he was.
Her stomach was knotted. Part of it was because they stood at the edge of a cliff and the edge of decision making. She knew that. He wanted her to know the facts.
Chrissy had had lovers before Benny, but she had never had sex casually. For her, sex was always supposed to be part of a relationship, a commitment between two people. Tonight, on this bluff, with the first rays of the morning sun lighting the tops of the hills, she saw things differently. Rafe was different from any man she had ever known. Her situation was different too. She was a new woman, starting a new life, and that new woman wanted him. She lusted after him, and even if he wouldn’t be hers forever more, she wasn’t going to let this moment slip away.
She wrapped her arms around his waist and moved close, hugging him, putting her head against his chest and pressing her body against his. “I don’t care about relationships,
“Even if you can’t break free, can’t you move in that direction?”
“What do you mean?”
“Can’t you slowly shed some responsibilities and only take on new ones that lead you where you want to go?”
His arm tightened around her and something shifted in his eyes. “You’re talking about relationships now.”
She was. She was babbling about herself as much as she was him, although her feelings made it hard to separate the two.
“You talk about the reality of your past. The reality of mine is that I’ve made some horrible mistakes. I’ve convinced myself I could love men who only seemed to promise security. As it turned out, all they offered was pain.”
“That’s a past you can walk away from. You have to choose differently.”
“But I don’t trust my judgment anymore.”
“Then trust your own heart, not promises from other people.”
Those simple words resonated with her but frightened her too.
“The heart isn’t all that smart. It wants passion. The heart isn’t thinking about the future.”
“And the future matters?”
She’d never heard anyone question that idea before, and it startled her. She stared out at the shimmering lights and felt the tug of that horizon, imagined being on that motorcycle, riding behind Rafe as they headed toward it just to see what was there. That was a future, but a vague one. It was more of a promise of the heart than a plan.
He turned her to face him, holding her by the shoulders and she looked up at his face.
“I’m not one to talk. I haven’t done well with relationships, Chrissy. I’ve fucked up pretty good and I think part of it was from thinking about a relationship as a thing all by itself. I wanted a relationship instead of understanding the importance of each day. Being with someone because you want to be with them, because doing anything else pales by comparison, makes me feel alive. But being in a relationship, just the sound of that makes the feeling of being trapped, tied down, almost intolerable. So when someone says we should promise we’ll be together forever, I can’t know if that means they’re hoping to feel that joy of being together every day, or if they are trying to lock down something that can’t be even seen or analyzed, even less held onto.”
She swallowed. Her trembling heart made her shiver. She knew he was sincere. He could’ve lied to her, told her she would be his forevermore and she would have happily let him seduce her. She would have let herself believe in a future with him, that he would always be hers. Instead he told her the truth. She sensed his resolve. He brought her to this place to tell her that truth, to warn her off, and let her see who he really was. A risk taker.
Risk takers were trouble. A man who wouldn’t commit to her was someone she could never count on. Rafe was a risk taker and she wanted him with every part of her being. The man Rafe admitted to being, the man who wouldn’t plan a future, was exactly the man she loved—because of who he was.
Her stomach was knotted. Part of it was because they stood at the edge of a cliff and the edge of decision making. She knew that. He wanted her to know the facts.
Chrissy had had lovers before Benny, but she had never had sex casually. For her, sex was always supposed to be part of a relationship, a commitment between two people. Tonight, on this bluff, with the first rays of the morning sun lighting the tops of the hills, she saw things differently. Rafe was different from any man she had ever known. Her situation was different too. She was a new woman, starting a new life, and that new woman wanted him. She lusted after him, and even if he wouldn’t be hers forever more, she wasn’t going to let this moment slip away.
She wrapped her arms around his waist and moved close, hugging him, putting her head against his chest and pressing her body against his. “I don’t care about relationships,
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