Dear friend,
Do you know what it’s like to struggle with feelings of low self-worth ? If so, I understand. In your heart of hearts, you believe you have little value—especially when compared to others. Regardless of how good you may look, you feel insignificant. For years, that was exactly how I felt.
As I look back on my childhood, I can see how my father shaped my reality—my view that I had little value. I never remember sitting on my father’s lap, never heard, “ I love you,” never heard, “ You did well .” In fact, he never talked with me. He simply wasn’t interested.
At dinnertime, Dad enforced the old adage: “Children are to be seen—not heard.” He announced that we couldn’t speak unless we had something of interest to say to everyone at the table. Of course, he wasn’t interested in anything we had to say, so we rarely spoke.
His continual verbal and emotional abuse toward my mother wounded my spirit. The “put-downs” and painful accusations pierced my heart because my mother was the dearest person in my life.
Then one day, after coming home from high school, I realized, I’m not really showing interest in him. I’m just focusing on his faults and on my pain. So instead of being bitter, I’m going to focus attention on him. (Although he had never asked about my day, I decided I would ask about his day.)
Dad always drove home at 5:45 p.m. and expected to have dinner at 6:00 sharp. So when I heard him walk into the side entrance of the house, I was ready—I had primed my pump for my positive greeting.
Inside the narrow hallway, I confidently approached him with a smile and said, “ Hi Dad, how was your day? ”
He exploded and yelled, “ Don’t ever ask me that question! That’s a stupid question! Never ask me that again! ”
Blown away, I felt humiliated and hurt. He had just used a stun gun on my heart. Even today, I can still feel the heat of his volcanic reaction on my cheeks.
Please understand—I am well aware that this encounter is so minor, especially in light of the major abuse that many experience. Yet encounters like this can be almost as emotionally paralyzing as physical and sexual abuse. I still recall his harshness—his yelling, his scowling—as though it were yesterday. How vividly I remember its demoralizing impact on my sense of significance! And never again did I ask him about his day.
It’s painful to feel like a nonperson—to feel invisible, to feel insignificant.
But realize, God knows when you have a skewed view of yourself—and He cares. The Bible says, “The L ORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18).
It’s a great help just to know that the Lord holds you close when your heart has been hurt. But it’s also vital that you know what God says about you is true .
According to the Word of God:
God chose to create you, and as the old saying goes, “ God don’t make no junk! ”
“God created man in his own image.” (Genesis 1:27)
God has a plan for your life, and He took His time to plan it.
“‘I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the L ORD , ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” (Jeremiah 29:11)
God loves you, and He will never stop loving you.
“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.” (Jeremiah 31:3)
Knowing just these three truths has helped me immeasurably. Even if we periodically have difficulty feeling God’s love—because our emotions can get stuck— we can know He loves us . Even if we sometimes struggle with feeling insignificant, we can know we have worth . You are so significant that Jesus chose to die for you. Think about it: You don’t die for something that has no worth!
A major key to overcoming my struggle with self-worth has been changing my focus from the rejection of my earthly father to the love of my heavenly Father, changing my focus from my painful
Do you know what it’s like to struggle with feelings of low self-worth ? If so, I understand. In your heart of hearts, you believe you have little value—especially when compared to others. Regardless of how good you may look, you feel insignificant. For years, that was exactly how I felt.
As I look back on my childhood, I can see how my father shaped my reality—my view that I had little value. I never remember sitting on my father’s lap, never heard, “ I love you,” never heard, “ You did well .” In fact, he never talked with me. He simply wasn’t interested.
At dinnertime, Dad enforced the old adage: “Children are to be seen—not heard.” He announced that we couldn’t speak unless we had something of interest to say to everyone at the table. Of course, he wasn’t interested in anything we had to say, so we rarely spoke.
His continual verbal and emotional abuse toward my mother wounded my spirit. The “put-downs” and painful accusations pierced my heart because my mother was the dearest person in my life.
Then one day, after coming home from high school, I realized, I’m not really showing interest in him. I’m just focusing on his faults and on my pain. So instead of being bitter, I’m going to focus attention on him. (Although he had never asked about my day, I decided I would ask about his day.)
Dad always drove home at 5:45 p.m. and expected to have dinner at 6:00 sharp. So when I heard him walk into the side entrance of the house, I was ready—I had primed my pump for my positive greeting.
Inside the narrow hallway, I confidently approached him with a smile and said, “ Hi Dad, how was your day? ”
He exploded and yelled, “ Don’t ever ask me that question! That’s a stupid question! Never ask me that again! ”
Blown away, I felt humiliated and hurt. He had just used a stun gun on my heart. Even today, I can still feel the heat of his volcanic reaction on my cheeks.
Please understand—I am well aware that this encounter is so minor, especially in light of the major abuse that many experience. Yet encounters like this can be almost as emotionally paralyzing as physical and sexual abuse. I still recall his harshness—his yelling, his scowling—as though it were yesterday. How vividly I remember its demoralizing impact on my sense of significance! And never again did I ask him about his day.
It’s painful to feel like a nonperson—to feel invisible, to feel insignificant.
But realize, God knows when you have a skewed view of yourself—and He cares. The Bible says, “The L ORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18).
It’s a great help just to know that the Lord holds you close when your heart has been hurt. But it’s also vital that you know what God says about you is true .
According to the Word of God:
God chose to create you, and as the old saying goes, “ God don’t make no junk! ”
“God created man in his own image.” (Genesis 1:27)
God has a plan for your life, and He took His time to plan it.
“‘I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the L ORD , ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” (Jeremiah 29:11)
God loves you, and He will never stop loving you.
“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.” (Jeremiah 31:3)
Knowing just these three truths has helped me immeasurably. Even if we periodically have difficulty feeling God’s love—because our emotions can get stuck— we can know He loves us . Even if we sometimes struggle with feeling insignificant, we can know we have worth . You are so significant that Jesus chose to die for you. Think about it: You don’t die for something that has no worth!
A major key to overcoming my struggle with self-worth has been changing my focus from the rejection of my earthly father to the love of my heavenly Father, changing my focus from my painful
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