fire.
‘Oh good, soup,’ Selby thought. ‘I’ll be in that.’
Selby watched as the water got warmer and warmer. A massive man with a band of feathers around his head stepped forward. Using an iron bar he broke the lock, opened the cage and pulled Selby out with one hand.
‘Nail-Art-Sua,’ he said, holding Selby over the pot.
‘Wait on,’ Selby thought. ‘They forgot to put the ingredients in the soup. What are they doing? Oh, no! I think
I’m
the ingredients!’
Suddenly Selby was plunged into the water.
‘Stop it!’ Selby yelled. ‘Don’t cook me! I’m Selby, the only talking dog in the world!’
‘Nail-Art-Sua,’ the crowd chanted, ‘Nail-Art-Sua.’
Selby went under the warm water and when he bobbed to the surface, the big man was rubbing him with soap.
‘Hey, this water isn’t hot,’ Selby said. ‘It’s only warm. What are you doing? Oh, I see what you’re doing! — you’re washing me! Then, you’re going to cook me, is that it?’
Selby was pulled from the pot and surrounded by people who dried him with pieces of cloth.
‘Can we talk this over?’ Selby asked. ‘Look, I can talk. I’m a talking dog. I must be worth stacks of money. You could sell me. Why don’t you just let me go and I’ll sell myself and send you the money?’
The big man carried Selby to a high wooden throne and sat him down. Two young girls put a crown of flowers on his head and then bowed.
‘God,’ they said. ‘Nail-Art-Sua. God-king.’
‘No, no, please,’ Selby said with a blush. ‘I’m not a god. It’s a natural mistake — anyone might make it — but I’m just an ordinary dog. Well sort of an ordinary dog. I talk, that’s all. It doesn’t make me a god. Crumbs!’ Selbythought. ‘These people really think I’m a god and they’ve made me their king.’
The girls gave him a puzzled look.
‘No god?’ one of them said.
‘Ooooops, hang on. Yes, okay, I’m a god-king. Hey, you speak English.’
‘Leetle beet,’ the girl answered. ‘Ecin,’ she added pointing to herself.
‘Ecin?’ Selby said. ‘Is that your name?’
‘Yes, and Etuc,’ she said, pointing to the other girl. ‘Sister.’
‘Oh, so you’re sisters,’ Selby said. ‘Good to meet you.’
‘You eat now?’ Etuc asked.
‘Food? Are you kidding? What have you got? Never mind about that,’ Selby said. ‘Just bring everything you’ve got and I’ll eat it.’
For the next hour, Etuc, Ecin, the chief and the other villagers prepared a wonderful feast. There were things that Selby had never eaten before and there were vegetables that were so good they didn’t even taste like vegetables. Selby ate and ate and when he couldn’t eat any more the entertainment began. There were musicians with strange musical instruments, dancers,jugglers and even a village clown who did fantastic acrobatics.
‘Hey, that guy’s funny!’ Selby said, clapping his paws together.
‘You eat more?’ Etuc asked.
‘No, I couldn’t possibly —’ Selby started. Then he saw the beautiful bowl of fruit that Etuc and Ecin held in their hands. ‘Dessert, eh? Oh, why not,’ Selby said.
Selby opened his mouth and waited till Etuc had spooned him out some wonderfully sweet fruit. And when he’d finished it, Ecin dabbed his mouth with the bottom of her long skirt.
‘Well I wanted to go on holidays and be treated like a king,’ Selby thought, ‘that’s just what happened.’
Selby slept the most wonderful sleep of his life that night as Etuc and Ecin took turns standing over him fanning him gently. And in the morning he awoke to the soft chanting of the villagers, kneeling before him.
‘Nail-Art-Sua,’ they chanted, ‘God Nail-Art-Sua.’
Days passed and Selby was treated as he’d never been treated before. He ate and ate till hecould hardly walk and Ecin and Etuc sang beautiful songs to him.
Then one morning his thoughts turned to the Trifles. Somewhere at a distant airport on the resort island of Sunseasia, they
‘Oh good, soup,’ Selby thought. ‘I’ll be in that.’
Selby watched as the water got warmer and warmer. A massive man with a band of feathers around his head stepped forward. Using an iron bar he broke the lock, opened the cage and pulled Selby out with one hand.
‘Nail-Art-Sua,’ he said, holding Selby over the pot.
‘Wait on,’ Selby thought. ‘They forgot to put the ingredients in the soup. What are they doing? Oh, no! I think
I’m
the ingredients!’
Suddenly Selby was plunged into the water.
‘Stop it!’ Selby yelled. ‘Don’t cook me! I’m Selby, the only talking dog in the world!’
‘Nail-Art-Sua,’ the crowd chanted, ‘Nail-Art-Sua.’
Selby went under the warm water and when he bobbed to the surface, the big man was rubbing him with soap.
‘Hey, this water isn’t hot,’ Selby said. ‘It’s only warm. What are you doing? Oh, I see what you’re doing! — you’re washing me! Then, you’re going to cook me, is that it?’
Selby was pulled from the pot and surrounded by people who dried him with pieces of cloth.
‘Can we talk this over?’ Selby asked. ‘Look, I can talk. I’m a talking dog. I must be worth stacks of money. You could sell me. Why don’t you just let me go and I’ll sell myself and send you the money?’
The big man carried Selby to a high wooden throne and sat him down. Two young girls put a crown of flowers on his head and then bowed.
‘God,’ they said. ‘Nail-Art-Sua. God-king.’
‘No, no, please,’ Selby said with a blush. ‘I’m not a god. It’s a natural mistake — anyone might make it — but I’m just an ordinary dog. Well sort of an ordinary dog. I talk, that’s all. It doesn’t make me a god. Crumbs!’ Selbythought. ‘These people really think I’m a god and they’ve made me their king.’
The girls gave him a puzzled look.
‘No god?’ one of them said.
‘Ooooops, hang on. Yes, okay, I’m a god-king. Hey, you speak English.’
‘Leetle beet,’ the girl answered. ‘Ecin,’ she added pointing to herself.
‘Ecin?’ Selby said. ‘Is that your name?’
‘Yes, and Etuc,’ she said, pointing to the other girl. ‘Sister.’
‘Oh, so you’re sisters,’ Selby said. ‘Good to meet you.’
‘You eat now?’ Etuc asked.
‘Food? Are you kidding? What have you got? Never mind about that,’ Selby said. ‘Just bring everything you’ve got and I’ll eat it.’
For the next hour, Etuc, Ecin, the chief and the other villagers prepared a wonderful feast. There were things that Selby had never eaten before and there were vegetables that were so good they didn’t even taste like vegetables. Selby ate and ate and when he couldn’t eat any more the entertainment began. There were musicians with strange musical instruments, dancers,jugglers and even a village clown who did fantastic acrobatics.
‘Hey, that guy’s funny!’ Selby said, clapping his paws together.
‘You eat more?’ Etuc asked.
‘No, I couldn’t possibly —’ Selby started. Then he saw the beautiful bowl of fruit that Etuc and Ecin held in their hands. ‘Dessert, eh? Oh, why not,’ Selby said.
Selby opened his mouth and waited till Etuc had spooned him out some wonderfully sweet fruit. And when he’d finished it, Ecin dabbed his mouth with the bottom of her long skirt.
‘Well I wanted to go on holidays and be treated like a king,’ Selby thought, ‘that’s just what happened.’
Selby slept the most wonderful sleep of his life that night as Etuc and Ecin took turns standing over him fanning him gently. And in the morning he awoke to the soft chanting of the villagers, kneeling before him.
‘Nail-Art-Sua,’ they chanted, ‘God Nail-Art-Sua.’
Days passed and Selby was treated as he’d never been treated before. He ate and ate till hecould hardly walk and Ecin and Etuc sang beautiful songs to him.
Then one morning his thoughts turned to the Trifles. Somewhere at a distant airport on the resort island of Sunseasia, they
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