almost like she was my guardian angel.” Her eyes were brimming with tears and she let out a small scream.
“Elizabeth?” I asked her shocked. “Are you okay?”
“I don’t know if I’m ever going to be okay?” She shook her head. “I’m a horrible person.” She looked away from me then. “I met Lacey and she made me believe in myself and I started to think that I could have a normal life. And then, then I started to have dreams, dreams and hopes that it didn’t have to be alone forever, that I wasn’t unlovable. That maybe my life didn’t have to be the way that it was before.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way.” I said. “No-one’s life has to be that way.”
“I always wanted a love of my life.” She gazed into my eyes with a wistful expression. “I always wanted a great love. Someone that would love me, all of me, for everything that I am. Someone that would see me, really see me, inside and out. Someone that could see all of my flaws. Someone that would understand. That would know. Someone that would feel what I felt. Someone I'd have a connection with. A connection that would last for all time. A connection that told us both we were soul mates. A love that was epic.” She smiled then. “I told you I’m a dreamer.”
“That’s a good dream to have.” I said, wanting to tell her that I always wanted a love of my life as well, but she started talking again.
“And then I met Shane.” Her voice grew softer and she looked away. “He swept into my life like a beautiful sunrise. He was handsome. Sweet. Loving. Right off the bat.” My heart constricted at her words and I could feel jealousy stirring through me, but I stopped myself from saying anything. I didn’t want to hear about Shane and the love that she’d had for him, but I knew that I was being selfish. I needed to listen to her. I needed to ignore my own insecurities at this point and be her friend. “I thought Shane was the love of my life. I thought I had found something that would take away all the pain I’d suffered previously in my life. I thought I had found real true love. I felt it in my heart and in my soul. I thought I'd met someone that could take all my pain away. And for a while, it felt like he had. In the beginning when it was good. I confided in him, told him about my past, my pain, about my dad. How I’d always wanted to know my dad. And he’d listen to me night after night. And he’d go with me when I wanted to try and meet my dad. He was good to me in the beginning. He was a good boyfriend. And then our relationship started to go sour. He stopped calling. Barely texted. I never saw him. And then he’d come back after a few weeks and pretend like nothing had happened. And I would forgive him because I needed him so badly. And then one day he left for good. He cheated on me. Told me he didn’t want me anymore. Told me he didn’t love me. Told me he didn’t want to deal with my issues anymore. He almost killed me.” She paused then at the look in my eyes. “Not literally kill. I mean, he almost killed me inside. I started to have suicidal thoughts. I called him, begged him to give me another chance. I begged him to stay in my life. To be my best friend. To explain. To love me like I loved him. And it meant nothing to him. He walked away without a backwards glance. He didn't even care. That was what hurt the most. He walked away from me and he didn't look back. He didn't care. And I felt lost and alone and I wanted to die. I just wanted to crawl up and die.” Her voice caught and I could feel my heart constricting and jealousy taking over me; almost consuming me. She was talking about Shane. She was talking about Shane and it was pissing me off. I didn’t want to hear about how she’d loved him with all her heart and soul. I didn’t want to hear that he’d meant the world to her. I didn’t want to hear anything about him. He was a shithead. An asshole. He wasn’t me and I wanted to tell her
“Elizabeth?” I asked her shocked. “Are you okay?”
“I don’t know if I’m ever going to be okay?” She shook her head. “I’m a horrible person.” She looked away from me then. “I met Lacey and she made me believe in myself and I started to think that I could have a normal life. And then, then I started to have dreams, dreams and hopes that it didn’t have to be alone forever, that I wasn’t unlovable. That maybe my life didn’t have to be the way that it was before.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way.” I said. “No-one’s life has to be that way.”
“I always wanted a love of my life.” She gazed into my eyes with a wistful expression. “I always wanted a great love. Someone that would love me, all of me, for everything that I am. Someone that would see me, really see me, inside and out. Someone that could see all of my flaws. Someone that would understand. That would know. Someone that would feel what I felt. Someone I'd have a connection with. A connection that would last for all time. A connection that told us both we were soul mates. A love that was epic.” She smiled then. “I told you I’m a dreamer.”
“That’s a good dream to have.” I said, wanting to tell her that I always wanted a love of my life as well, but she started talking again.
“And then I met Shane.” Her voice grew softer and she looked away. “He swept into my life like a beautiful sunrise. He was handsome. Sweet. Loving. Right off the bat.” My heart constricted at her words and I could feel jealousy stirring through me, but I stopped myself from saying anything. I didn’t want to hear about Shane and the love that she’d had for him, but I knew that I was being selfish. I needed to listen to her. I needed to ignore my own insecurities at this point and be her friend. “I thought Shane was the love of my life. I thought I had found something that would take away all the pain I’d suffered previously in my life. I thought I had found real true love. I felt it in my heart and in my soul. I thought I'd met someone that could take all my pain away. And for a while, it felt like he had. In the beginning when it was good. I confided in him, told him about my past, my pain, about my dad. How I’d always wanted to know my dad. And he’d listen to me night after night. And he’d go with me when I wanted to try and meet my dad. He was good to me in the beginning. He was a good boyfriend. And then our relationship started to go sour. He stopped calling. Barely texted. I never saw him. And then he’d come back after a few weeks and pretend like nothing had happened. And I would forgive him because I needed him so badly. And then one day he left for good. He cheated on me. Told me he didn’t want me anymore. Told me he didn’t love me. Told me he didn’t want to deal with my issues anymore. He almost killed me.” She paused then at the look in my eyes. “Not literally kill. I mean, he almost killed me inside. I started to have suicidal thoughts. I called him, begged him to give me another chance. I begged him to stay in my life. To be my best friend. To explain. To love me like I loved him. And it meant nothing to him. He walked away without a backwards glance. He didn't even care. That was what hurt the most. He walked away from me and he didn't look back. He didn't care. And I felt lost and alone and I wanted to die. I just wanted to crawl up and die.” Her voice caught and I could feel my heart constricting and jealousy taking over me; almost consuming me. She was talking about Shane. She was talking about Shane and it was pissing me off. I didn’t want to hear about how she’d loved him with all her heart and soul. I didn’t want to hear that he’d meant the world to her. I didn’t want to hear anything about him. He was a shithead. An asshole. He wasn’t me and I wanted to tell her
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