day, we all understand what it
feels like."
"Do you?
You didn't see what I saw. The evil that lives inside of me. How is that
anything like being able to make fire or disappear?" I didn't mean to diminish
the pain of others, but I doubt they were sending people to hell and being
drowned by an evil shadow living inside of them.
"It's not
the same, you're right. But many of us have gone through our own kind of hell,
being genetically experimented on, forced pregnancies, and so much more."
I dropped my
head in shame. "You're right. I'm sorry. I can't imagine these kids
suffering through something like that."
"I don't
say it to make you feel bad, just to help you understand that there are many
kinds of hell and many forms of shadows. You might be surprised to learn some
of our stories." He sat down on the bench, and I joined him.
"I hope
to hear more of them, someday."
He smiled a
secret smile. "You will. I've seen glimpses of what's to come—at
least one version of it. Have a little faith."
I'd forgotten
that part of his gift involved Seeing. Did that mean I did have a chance at
happiness after all?
"Rose, do
you mind if I offer a suggestion?"
"Fire
away. I'm at a total loss."
"We can't
kill off a part of ourselves without killing ourselves. When you fought the
shadow under water, you were fighting yourself. That never ends well. I
remember a video game I played when I was a kid. I had to fight my shadow self
with a sword, and no matter how good I was, or how skilled, I always lost. It
took me forever, but I finally figured out the trick to winning."
My breath
caught. "What was the trick?"
"I had to
put away the sword."
T WENTY
Reason and Love
D EREK
"And yet, to
say the truth, reason and love keep little company together nowadays.
—William
Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream
THE CANDLES FLICKERED in our temporary room, setting the
mood for what I had in mind as I waited for Rose to return.
She feared her
powers and she feared hurting me, I understood that. But it was time to move
past fear and take a few risks. I wasn't just human; I was Druid and Shifter. I
had my own powers, my own source of energy.
I practiced my
speech one last time, and got half way through it when she opened the door and
walked in. Her eyes looked too bright, like she'd been crying.
Every time I
saw her she took my breath away. Not just her outer beauty, which she had
plenty of, but the light inside her soul drew me to her. I couldn't stand being
apart from her now that she was finally mine.
With long
strides I walked to her and pulled her into my arms, crushing her against my
chest and breathing in the scent of her strawberry shampoo. "I'm glad you're
back." I put distance between us so I could make eye contact. "Are
you okay?"
"Yes. I
think so. Today was hard."
She sank into
the loveseat in our small studio guest room, and I sat next to her, arm around
her.
"I know.
I think it's time we talked about the next step."
"Next
step?"
Her skin felt
like silk as I rubbed her neck. "With us. Rose, I know you're trying to
protect me, but you have to learn to trust me. I know my limits. I'm strong, not
just physically, but magically. I want to push the boundaries. I want to make
love to the woman who will soon be my wife."
Her eyes
widened in alarm, and I considered taking it back, slowing down, but no. We
needed to do this. If she was ever going to be free of fear, we had to face
this part together.
"I don't
want to kill you. Your brother was strong too, and look where he is."
I knew she'd
bring up Dean, but it still hurt. "He'd been drugged and attacked unaware
by your mother. When you arrived, he didn't know what was going on and had no
defenses left. This is different. I know the risks. I'll stop us if it's too
much. But you'll never learn control if you don't try."
To add fire to
my argument, I leaned my head into the nook of her neck and scraped my teeth
along the sensitive skin down to her
feels like."
"Do you?
You didn't see what I saw. The evil that lives inside of me. How is that
anything like being able to make fire or disappear?" I didn't mean to diminish
the pain of others, but I doubt they were sending people to hell and being
drowned by an evil shadow living inside of them.
"It's not
the same, you're right. But many of us have gone through our own kind of hell,
being genetically experimented on, forced pregnancies, and so much more."
I dropped my
head in shame. "You're right. I'm sorry. I can't imagine these kids
suffering through something like that."
"I don't
say it to make you feel bad, just to help you understand that there are many
kinds of hell and many forms of shadows. You might be surprised to learn some
of our stories." He sat down on the bench, and I joined him.
"I hope
to hear more of them, someday."
He smiled a
secret smile. "You will. I've seen glimpses of what's to come—at
least one version of it. Have a little faith."
I'd forgotten
that part of his gift involved Seeing. Did that mean I did have a chance at
happiness after all?
"Rose, do
you mind if I offer a suggestion?"
"Fire
away. I'm at a total loss."
"We can't
kill off a part of ourselves without killing ourselves. When you fought the
shadow under water, you were fighting yourself. That never ends well. I
remember a video game I played when I was a kid. I had to fight my shadow self
with a sword, and no matter how good I was, or how skilled, I always lost. It
took me forever, but I finally figured out the trick to winning."
My breath
caught. "What was the trick?"
"I had to
put away the sword."
T WENTY
Reason and Love
D EREK
"And yet, to
say the truth, reason and love keep little company together nowadays.
—William
Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream
THE CANDLES FLICKERED in our temporary room, setting the
mood for what I had in mind as I waited for Rose to return.
She feared her
powers and she feared hurting me, I understood that. But it was time to move
past fear and take a few risks. I wasn't just human; I was Druid and Shifter. I
had my own powers, my own source of energy.
I practiced my
speech one last time, and got half way through it when she opened the door and
walked in. Her eyes looked too bright, like she'd been crying.
Every time I
saw her she took my breath away. Not just her outer beauty, which she had
plenty of, but the light inside her soul drew me to her. I couldn't stand being
apart from her now that she was finally mine.
With long
strides I walked to her and pulled her into my arms, crushing her against my
chest and breathing in the scent of her strawberry shampoo. "I'm glad you're
back." I put distance between us so I could make eye contact. "Are
you okay?"
"Yes. I
think so. Today was hard."
She sank into
the loveseat in our small studio guest room, and I sat next to her, arm around
her.
"I know.
I think it's time we talked about the next step."
"Next
step?"
Her skin felt
like silk as I rubbed her neck. "With us. Rose, I know you're trying to
protect me, but you have to learn to trust me. I know my limits. I'm strong, not
just physically, but magically. I want to push the boundaries. I want to make
love to the woman who will soon be my wife."
Her eyes
widened in alarm, and I considered taking it back, slowing down, but no. We
needed to do this. If she was ever going to be free of fear, we had to face
this part together.
"I don't
want to kill you. Your brother was strong too, and look where he is."
I knew she'd
bring up Dean, but it still hurt. "He'd been drugged and attacked unaware
by your mother. When you arrived, he didn't know what was going on and had no
defenses left. This is different. I know the risks. I'll stop us if it's too
much. But you'll never learn control if you don't try."
To add fire to
my argument, I leaned my head into the nook of her neck and scraped my teeth
along the sensitive skin down to her
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