help by telling people about what you see.”
Meke shook her head. “It wouldn’t work. I can’t see forever. What if I’m too far away to see what’s coming on the other side? If I do it, I do it right.”
Meke regretted the word if. She had meant to portray absolute confidence, but it was too late, now. Meke glanced at Arya. Her cheeks tight, Arya’s lips moved in stops and starts. Still, Arya spoke Meke’s words.
Sterling tapped his fingers on his desk. His fingers moved in a flurry. The motion made the points of Sterling’s star twitch. After a long while, Sterling looked at Meke.
“You’re more useful to us in a doctor’s room than you are out in the field. Safer, too.”
Meke had to tell herself that Sterling hadn’t made his decision yet. “Maybe. You don’t know what the doctors can figure out.”
“How would we know when you refuse to even give us a blood sample?”
“But you said that I had choices. Reasonable freedom. I want to do this, and I’ll do it right.”
Sterling sat back, staring at the wall. Meke sagged back into her chair, feeling small and defeated. She tried to tell herself that she had tried and that was what mattered.
“What about the Elite Forces?”
“I’ll be able to defend myself,” Meke said, her spine straightening.
Sterling grunted and then stared at the wall some more. Finally, he said, “Well, I think it’s an inefficient choice, but it’s a choice,” he paused. “You can be a soldier, but only if you meet my conditions.”
Meke’s eyes went wide. “What?”
“You’ll train with Trove Anderson. You’ll only become a soldier at his say-so. I trust that man implicitly.”
Meke couldn't stop her mouth from falling open. No, she told herself, it didn’t matter who trained her, as long as she was trained. She just didn’t know why they wanted to use Trove. Perhaps she should feel flattered.
Meke nodded. What choice did she have?
“It’ll take months. Are you truly prepared for this? It’s hard work.”
Meke tried not to feel insulted. “Of course I am.”
“Fine. Trove will contact you soon about the training schedule.” He waved Meke away.
Meke knew a dismissal when she saw it. As the door closed behind her, she felt Sterling slump back in his chair, rubbing his temples. The defeated posture didn’t suit him at all.
Meke wondered why Sterling had let her do it at all. He told the truth about one thing: she was more useful to them in a lab than in the field.
Standing in the middle of the hallway, Meke felt tired, so tired that she wanted to curl up and fall asleep.
◆ ◆ ◆
Meke slowed as she felt Arya approaching. She turned around, leaned against the wall. Arya blinked, then shook off whatever daze that had overtaken her. The small, delicate woman peered up at Meke, squinting. “So, this is your decision, uh?”
“Yes,” Meke said.
Arya stared at the wall behind Meke. She paused before she raised her hands to speak. “Why this? It’s—a damn fool thing to do. It’s dangerous. You could help out so much more in the doctor’s office. You’d be safe .”
Meke looked at her hands. “I don’t want to be safe, Arya. I want to do things.”
Arya rubbed her forehead, cradling one of her elbows. “You would do things in the doctor’s office. You’d help us understand what’s happening to you.”
“But that’s not something that I did. It’s just—” Meke shook her head, “—something that someone did to me. Something I didn’t earn.”
“Your parents wanted you to be safe. They didn’t want you to become a soldier,” Arya said.
“No, they wanted something better for me.”
Arya stared at Meke, her eyes wide. “You could unlock the secrets of the human body. That’s something amazing. You can’t throw that away.”
“I didn’t do that. Doctor Ball did. Plus, you have Cecil,” Meke said, squeezing her arms tight.
A sad smile appeared on Arya’s face. “He’s not
Meke shook her head. “It wouldn’t work. I can’t see forever. What if I’m too far away to see what’s coming on the other side? If I do it, I do it right.”
Meke regretted the word if. She had meant to portray absolute confidence, but it was too late, now. Meke glanced at Arya. Her cheeks tight, Arya’s lips moved in stops and starts. Still, Arya spoke Meke’s words.
Sterling tapped his fingers on his desk. His fingers moved in a flurry. The motion made the points of Sterling’s star twitch. After a long while, Sterling looked at Meke.
“You’re more useful to us in a doctor’s room than you are out in the field. Safer, too.”
Meke had to tell herself that Sterling hadn’t made his decision yet. “Maybe. You don’t know what the doctors can figure out.”
“How would we know when you refuse to even give us a blood sample?”
“But you said that I had choices. Reasonable freedom. I want to do this, and I’ll do it right.”
Sterling sat back, staring at the wall. Meke sagged back into her chair, feeling small and defeated. She tried to tell herself that she had tried and that was what mattered.
“What about the Elite Forces?”
“I’ll be able to defend myself,” Meke said, her spine straightening.
Sterling grunted and then stared at the wall some more. Finally, he said, “Well, I think it’s an inefficient choice, but it’s a choice,” he paused. “You can be a soldier, but only if you meet my conditions.”
Meke’s eyes went wide. “What?”
“You’ll train with Trove Anderson. You’ll only become a soldier at his say-so. I trust that man implicitly.”
Meke couldn't stop her mouth from falling open. No, she told herself, it didn’t matter who trained her, as long as she was trained. She just didn’t know why they wanted to use Trove. Perhaps she should feel flattered.
Meke nodded. What choice did she have?
“It’ll take months. Are you truly prepared for this? It’s hard work.”
Meke tried not to feel insulted. “Of course I am.”
“Fine. Trove will contact you soon about the training schedule.” He waved Meke away.
Meke knew a dismissal when she saw it. As the door closed behind her, she felt Sterling slump back in his chair, rubbing his temples. The defeated posture didn’t suit him at all.
Meke wondered why Sterling had let her do it at all. He told the truth about one thing: she was more useful to them in a lab than in the field.
Standing in the middle of the hallway, Meke felt tired, so tired that she wanted to curl up and fall asleep.
◆ ◆ ◆
Meke slowed as she felt Arya approaching. She turned around, leaned against the wall. Arya blinked, then shook off whatever daze that had overtaken her. The small, delicate woman peered up at Meke, squinting. “So, this is your decision, uh?”
“Yes,” Meke said.
Arya stared at the wall behind Meke. She paused before she raised her hands to speak. “Why this? It’s—a damn fool thing to do. It’s dangerous. You could help out so much more in the doctor’s office. You’d be safe .”
Meke looked at her hands. “I don’t want to be safe, Arya. I want to do things.”
Arya rubbed her forehead, cradling one of her elbows. “You would do things in the doctor’s office. You’d help us understand what’s happening to you.”
“But that’s not something that I did. It’s just—” Meke shook her head, “—something that someone did to me. Something I didn’t earn.”
“Your parents wanted you to be safe. They didn’t want you to become a soldier,” Arya said.
“No, they wanted something better for me.”
Arya stared at Meke, her eyes wide. “You could unlock the secrets of the human body. That’s something amazing. You can’t throw that away.”
“I didn’t do that. Doctor Ball did. Plus, you have Cecil,” Meke said, squeezing her arms tight.
A sad smile appeared on Arya’s face. “He’s not
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