Secret Seduction by Lori Wilde Page B

against the pillow in his lap. “Vanessa, we forgot…I forgot…”
    “Uh-huh?”
    “To use protection,” he finished, stunned by his own stupidity. It wasn’t like him. He’d never done anything so spontaneous and irresponsible.
    “Don’t worry. I’m on the Pill.”
    “But there’s other things.”
    “I keep tabs on my health.”
    “Me, too,” he said. “I did have a complete physical a year ago. Got the all clear on STDs.”
    “A lot can happen in a year.”
    “Not with me. I haven’t had…” He swallowed. “Since my wife…that is until you.”
    “Let me get this straight,” she said as she slowly ran a finger around the rim of her wineglass in a rhythmic circular motion. “You haven’t been with anyone except your wife until you met me?”
    “That’s right.”
    “How long has that been?”
    “Four years,” he admitted.
    “You’ve been celibate four whole years?” She sounded shocked.
    “I had a tough time after my wife died.” Tanner was surprised he was talking to her about it. He hardly ever talked about Maria, because it was so difficult. “Some guys go off the deep end, have lots of sex. I just wasn’t interested before now. Before you.”
    Would admitting that scare her off? he wondered.
    “You’re a widower.”
    “Yeah.”
    “Oh.”
    She didn’t ask how it had happened the way most people did when they found out about Maria. He was glad for that because he didn’t know if he could talk about it with Vanessa, but it felt as if he should say something else.
    “She was Latino,” he said. “Like you.”
    “Really?” Vanessa arched an eyebrow. “So you have a type. Do I remind you of her? Is that the attraction?”
    He shook his head. “Not at all.”
    Initially, at Emilio’s, she’d reminded him a little of Maria, but since he’d gotten to know Vanessa he’d discovered she and Maria were nothing alike. His wife had been a bit scattered in her thinking. A ditz, her family had called her lovingly. Sweet, impulsive, trusting Maria was the kind of person who never met a stranger. That had been her fatal flaw—assuming everyone was as guileless as she was. She could have used some of Vanessa’s suspiciousness.
    With Vanessa’s face bathed in lamplight, he noticed the planes of her high cheekbones, the faint frown line between her eyebrows. Her face told him what he’d already guessed. Here was a woman who’d never lost herself to love. A woman who was terrified to let herself go. What made him think he could crack the code to her heart?
    She slipped a strand of dark brown hair behind an ear and canted her head at him. She gazed at him for a long time without saying anything. In the tension of the moment it was all Tanner could to do to keep from staring at her bare breasts.
    “Do you still miss her?”
    Tanner nodded, his chest tight. Maria had been the love of his life and he didn’t believe that lightning could strike twice, yet there was something about Vanessa that had him questioning his beliefs. What if a guy could be lucky enough to have two great loves in one lifetime?
    Love? Are you out of your freaking mind? It’s bad enough that you’re having sex with the woman you’re supposed to be guarding. Falling in love with her isn’t a possibility.
    “Losing your wife must have been rough.”
    “Worst thing that ever happened to me,” he confessed. Tanner realized this was the most he’d ever talked about Maria since the funeral. He didn’t know if that was good or bad.
    “You must have loved her very much.” She sounded wistful.
    “We had something great.” He nodded. “But life has a way of kicking the crap out of your hopes and dreams. Things happen. Circumstances change.” He paused, thinking about the past.
    “Yeah,” she whispered, with a faraway look on her face that had him wondering if she’d lost someone she cared about.
    “Have you ever been in love?” he found himself asking.
    She gave a short laugh. “You mean with something