Second Chance by Rachel Hanna

she would follow through on her promise and that I would be able to find Emmy for Tanner. At least one of us should have our daughter.
     
    I drove another hour toward the house, but it was getting close to lunch and I was starving. I decided to drive into town to grab a bite to eat before making my way to the farm. I was putting off seeing Tanner because I didn’t know how I really felt about the whole situation. Was he angry at me? Had he moved out himself? Would he try to talk me into staying?
     
    As I drove into town, I saw the diner that Tanner’s mom owned. I decided to drop in there and have a sandwich. As soon as I walked in, Claire walked quickly to where I was standing and threw her arms around my neck.
     
    “Oh, Shannon, I heard about your daughter, honey. I am so sorry. You must be devastated… Come sit down, sweetie…” she pulled my arm over to the booth in the corner where Tanner and I sat for lunch that day.
     
    Her kindness brought me to tears. She had a very big heart, and her son was a lot like her.
     
    “Thank you, Claire. It has been the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. I miss her so much,” I said, tears rolling down my cheeks. “And I miss Tanner,” I said without thinking. I wasn’t even sure where it came from.
     
    “He misses you too, Shannon. He told me what happened at the hospital…” she said.
     
    “I was awful to him, Claire. Simply awful. It’s just that I blame myself. I was with Tanner when Courtney was killed… I just felt I should have been with her, you know? As her mother…”
     
    “Shannon, did Tanner tell you anything about Michael?” she asked holding my hand and looking into my eyes.
     
    “Michael? I don’t think so.”
     
    “Michael was Tanner’s older brother. They were only two years apart in age. When Tanner was ten and Michael was twelve, we went to the beach on vacation, down in the Gulf of Mexico. It was beautiful, and we had a wonderful time. It was September, which is during hurricane season. One day, the ocean was kind of choppy, but we went anyway. I let the boys swim out into the ocean a little bit, not real far, ya know? This thing called a riptide pulled poor Michael out and he kept trying to swim back. Tanner tried to reach him, but Michael just tuckered out. He was so tired trying to fight those waves. Tanner couldn’t swim against them and…” her voice was broken by tears. I could tell that she was struggling as she recounted the story for me.
     
    “Oh, Claire, no…” I said patting her hand.
     
    “Yes, Michael drowned. Right in front of me, right in front of Tanner. I felt so helpless. How could I have let him go into the ocean with the waves being so choppy? Why couldn’t I swim hard enough or fast enough to save him? I went through a long period of blaming myself… a real depression. Then, one day I realized that Michael would have wanted me to go on. He was the light of our family. A very funny kid, always smiling and joking… He would have been heartbroken to know I had given up on life. So, I slowly started forgiving myself. That’s what you are going to have to do, Shannon. Courtney would not want you to stop living, blaming yourself for an accident,” Claire said. Her motherly tone was just what I needed right then.
     
    “I am so sorry for your loss, Claire…” I didn’t know what to say. I only knew that she had been in my place and had felt my pain.
     
    “It’s been a long time, but the pain never goes away. It only gets a little easier with time, Shannon. You will never forget Courtney or replace her. Sometimes I still cry when I think about Michael… what could have been… but I can’t stop my life because of it. Tanner told me a bit about your marriage to that man…”
     
    “Tanner likes to talk, doesn’t he,” I giggled.
     
    “For a man, I guess he is a bit of a gossip… at least with me. He’s a momma’s boy,” she smiled.
     
    “It’s sweet…”
     
    “I know that you are