of it as an adventure,” he said brightly.
“Why should I do that?”
“Because if you don’t, you’ll just become really, really depressed. Trust me. Now hop in!”
Skulduggery hopped in. Stephanie dragged her feet around to the other side and more kind of
fell
in. She squirmed down in the lime-green seat as much as she could as they drove through Haggard. There was a parcel in the backseat, wrapped in brown paper and tied with a string. Beside that was a black bag.
“Is that the gear for breaking into the Vault?” she asked. “Is that where we’re going?”
“Well, to answer your first question first, yes. That bag contains all the equipment needed for a beautifully executed break-in. To answer your second question, no, that is not where we’re going. Before I get to introduce you to a life of crime, I get to introduce you to the Elder Mages.”
“Crime sounds more fun.”
“As indeed it is, though I would never condone crime in any of its forms. Except when I do it, naturally.”
“Naturally. So why are we delaying the fun? What do these Elder Mages want?”
“They’ve heard that I’ve been dragging a perfectly nice young lady into all manner of trouble, and they want to admonish me for it.”
“Tell them it’s none of their business.”
“Well, while I do admire your moxie—”
“What’s moxie?”
“—I’m afraid that won’t work too well with these fellows. One thing you have to remember about the Elder Mages is that they’re—”
“Really old sorcerers?”
“Well, yes.”
“Worked that out all by myself.”
“You must be so proud.”
“Why do you have to report to them? Do you work for them?”
“In a way. The Elders pass the laws, and they have people who enforce the laws, but there are only a few of us who actually investigate the
breaking
of those laws—murders, robberies, a couple of kidnappings, the usual. And while I may be freelance, most of my work, and my money, comes from the Elders.”
“So if they want to wag their fingers at you …”
“I have to stand there and be wagged at.”
“So why do they want me to be there? Aren’t I the innocent young girl being led astray?”
“See, I don’t really want them to view you as the innocent young girl. I want them to view you as the rebellious, insubordinate, troublesome rapscallion who has made herself my partner. Then maybe they’ll take pity on me.”
“Wait, do they even know I’m coming with you?”
“No. But they like surprises. Almost always.”
“Maybe I should wait in the car.”
“In
this
car?”
“Ah, good point.”
“Stephanie, we both know something serious is going on, but as yet the Elders have refused to consider that their precious Truce might be in jeopardy.”
“And why would they believe me and not you?”
“Because I go to them loaded with baggage. I have a history, and some might say an agenda. Besides, tales of horror are always more effective coming from a lady.”
“I’m no lady.”
He shrugged. “You’re the closest I’ve got.”
Skulduggery had another surprise for her as they drove. He pulled in to a fast-food place and nodded toward the parcel in the backseat.
“What’s that?” she asked.
“What do you think it is?”
“It looks like a parcel.”
“Then that’s what it is.”
“But what’s inside it?”
“If I tell you, I deprive the parcel of its whole reason to be.”
She sighed. “And what
is
its reason to be?”
“To be opened, of course, and to reveal what it’s holding.”
“You are so annoying,” she muttered, reaching back and taking the parcel. It was soft to the touch. She looked at Skulduggery. “The clothes?”
“I’m saying nothing.”
“Ghastly made the clothes already? I didn’t think he was going to make them
at all
, not after, you know … the argument.”
Skulduggery shrugged and started humming. She sighed, then took the parcel and got out of the yellow car and walked into the fast-food restaurant,
“Why should I do that?”
“Because if you don’t, you’ll just become really, really depressed. Trust me. Now hop in!”
Skulduggery hopped in. Stephanie dragged her feet around to the other side and more kind of
fell
in. She squirmed down in the lime-green seat as much as she could as they drove through Haggard. There was a parcel in the backseat, wrapped in brown paper and tied with a string. Beside that was a black bag.
“Is that the gear for breaking into the Vault?” she asked. “Is that where we’re going?”
“Well, to answer your first question first, yes. That bag contains all the equipment needed for a beautifully executed break-in. To answer your second question, no, that is not where we’re going. Before I get to introduce you to a life of crime, I get to introduce you to the Elder Mages.”
“Crime sounds more fun.”
“As indeed it is, though I would never condone crime in any of its forms. Except when I do it, naturally.”
“Naturally. So why are we delaying the fun? What do these Elder Mages want?”
“They’ve heard that I’ve been dragging a perfectly nice young lady into all manner of trouble, and they want to admonish me for it.”
“Tell them it’s none of their business.”
“Well, while I do admire your moxie—”
“What’s moxie?”
“—I’m afraid that won’t work too well with these fellows. One thing you have to remember about the Elder Mages is that they’re—”
“Really old sorcerers?”
“Well, yes.”
“Worked that out all by myself.”
“You must be so proud.”
“Why do you have to report to them? Do you work for them?”
“In a way. The Elders pass the laws, and they have people who enforce the laws, but there are only a few of us who actually investigate the
breaking
of those laws—murders, robberies, a couple of kidnappings, the usual. And while I may be freelance, most of my work, and my money, comes from the Elders.”
“So if they want to wag their fingers at you …”
“I have to stand there and be wagged at.”
“So why do they want me to be there? Aren’t I the innocent young girl being led astray?”
“See, I don’t really want them to view you as the innocent young girl. I want them to view you as the rebellious, insubordinate, troublesome rapscallion who has made herself my partner. Then maybe they’ll take pity on me.”
“Wait, do they even know I’m coming with you?”
“No. But they like surprises. Almost always.”
“Maybe I should wait in the car.”
“In
this
car?”
“Ah, good point.”
“Stephanie, we both know something serious is going on, but as yet the Elders have refused to consider that their precious Truce might be in jeopardy.”
“And why would they believe me and not you?”
“Because I go to them loaded with baggage. I have a history, and some might say an agenda. Besides, tales of horror are always more effective coming from a lady.”
“I’m no lady.”
He shrugged. “You’re the closest I’ve got.”
Skulduggery had another surprise for her as they drove. He pulled in to a fast-food place and nodded toward the parcel in the backseat.
“What’s that?” she asked.
“What do you think it is?”
“It looks like a parcel.”
“Then that’s what it is.”
“But what’s inside it?”
“If I tell you, I deprive the parcel of its whole reason to be.”
She sighed. “And what
is
its reason to be?”
“To be opened, of course, and to reveal what it’s holding.”
“You are so annoying,” she muttered, reaching back and taking the parcel. It was soft to the touch. She looked at Skulduggery. “The clothes?”
“I’m saying nothing.”
“Ghastly made the clothes already? I didn’t think he was going to make them
at all
, not after, you know … the argument.”
Skulduggery shrugged and started humming. She sighed, then took the parcel and got out of the yellow car and walked into the fast-food restaurant,
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