feel like I’m drowning without her.”
Before I was even able to register his movement, I was wrapped in his strong arms and pulled into his lap, surrounded by his heat as the tears trickled down my cheeks. “You aren’t drowning, gorgeous. It just feels like that some days.” His fingers slowly trailed from the top of my scalp down my head, soothing me with each tender stroke. “The pain never goes away, Freya, but it becomes manageable. One day, you’ll wake up and realize you can breathe a little easier than the day before. Until then, all you can do is lean on the people closest to you…lean on me. I want you to.”
I pulled my face from his chest and looked up into those deep, all-knowing eyes, wondering if that was going to be the moment he opened up. “Have you lost someone?”
His head jerked with a nod. “Yeah, I have. But we’re not talking about me right now. We’re talking about you.” I understood his reluctance to share that part of himself. I hadn’t wanted to share mine with him at first, either; it took time to build that trust. All I could do was give him space and hope he’d eventually lean on me the same way he was insisting I lean on him.
“Does it ever stop?”
His chest rose and fell against my cheek as he inhaled deeply before blowing it out in a deep sigh. “No, sweetheart. I wish I could tell you it does, but the pain never goes away.”
“H-how do you f-function?” I stuttered.
“One day at a time, Freya. One day at a time. You watch those sunsets and think about everything you had with her. Appreciate every single one. I promise you, it won’t always hurt this bad.”
I let the tears run freely, soaking up all the comfort I could as he held on to me tightly. He was a lifeline in a raging storm. He kept me grounded when I felt like I would just float away. Eventually, the tears pulled me under, lulling me into a deep, dreamless sleep, wrapped in Parker’s arms. When I woke the next morning, alone in my bed, my chest felt just a little bit lighter. I wasn’t surprised he was gone, but I was thankful he’d been there for me the night before. I hadn’t realized just how much I needed him until that time came.
That night, Parker had been my saving grace.
I knew staying with Freya as long as I had was a mistake. But having her soft, warm body in my arms was just too much to resist. I lay in her bed, wrapping her tightly in my embrace and never wanting to let go. It was just too much temptation. Even though I knew I’d suffer the consequences, it was worth every single second to have her open up to me the way she did.
“Where the fuck have you been?” my father hissed as I climbed through my bedroom window shortly after the sun began to rise. As soon as my feet hit the floor, I was frozen in place, unable to meet the hostility in his gaze. I already knew what would happen if he caught me, but that hadn’t meant I didn’t fear him still.
“I asked you a question, boy. Where the fuck have you been !?”
“Nowhere,” I mumbled, refusing to move my eyes off the dark, hardwood floors beneath my feet.
“Nowhere? That’s all you have to say to me? You’ve been gone all fucking night, and you’re going to stand there and tell me you’ve been nowhere , you little shit?”
My heart began beating frantically as his voice continued to rise. I knew what was coming, and no matter how many times I had to experience his rage, I still hadn’t grown used to it. Just as I’d told Freya the night before, the things we experienced because of our parents weren’t things we should ever have to get used to. “I was down on the beach,” I lied. “I couldn’t sleep and wanted to clear my head.” There was no way I was going to admit I’d spent the majority of the night with Freya. The last thing I wanted was to put her on Charles Owens’ radar.
“You needed to clear your head.” He drew out each word slowly, like he was trying to wrap his brain around what I’d
Before I was even able to register his movement, I was wrapped in his strong arms and pulled into his lap, surrounded by his heat as the tears trickled down my cheeks. “You aren’t drowning, gorgeous. It just feels like that some days.” His fingers slowly trailed from the top of my scalp down my head, soothing me with each tender stroke. “The pain never goes away, Freya, but it becomes manageable. One day, you’ll wake up and realize you can breathe a little easier than the day before. Until then, all you can do is lean on the people closest to you…lean on me. I want you to.”
I pulled my face from his chest and looked up into those deep, all-knowing eyes, wondering if that was going to be the moment he opened up. “Have you lost someone?”
His head jerked with a nod. “Yeah, I have. But we’re not talking about me right now. We’re talking about you.” I understood his reluctance to share that part of himself. I hadn’t wanted to share mine with him at first, either; it took time to build that trust. All I could do was give him space and hope he’d eventually lean on me the same way he was insisting I lean on him.
“Does it ever stop?”
His chest rose and fell against my cheek as he inhaled deeply before blowing it out in a deep sigh. “No, sweetheart. I wish I could tell you it does, but the pain never goes away.”
“H-how do you f-function?” I stuttered.
“One day at a time, Freya. One day at a time. You watch those sunsets and think about everything you had with her. Appreciate every single one. I promise you, it won’t always hurt this bad.”
I let the tears run freely, soaking up all the comfort I could as he held on to me tightly. He was a lifeline in a raging storm. He kept me grounded when I felt like I would just float away. Eventually, the tears pulled me under, lulling me into a deep, dreamless sleep, wrapped in Parker’s arms. When I woke the next morning, alone in my bed, my chest felt just a little bit lighter. I wasn’t surprised he was gone, but I was thankful he’d been there for me the night before. I hadn’t realized just how much I needed him until that time came.
That night, Parker had been my saving grace.
I knew staying with Freya as long as I had was a mistake. But having her soft, warm body in my arms was just too much to resist. I lay in her bed, wrapping her tightly in my embrace and never wanting to let go. It was just too much temptation. Even though I knew I’d suffer the consequences, it was worth every single second to have her open up to me the way she did.
“Where the fuck have you been?” my father hissed as I climbed through my bedroom window shortly after the sun began to rise. As soon as my feet hit the floor, I was frozen in place, unable to meet the hostility in his gaze. I already knew what would happen if he caught me, but that hadn’t meant I didn’t fear him still.
“I asked you a question, boy. Where the fuck have you been !?”
“Nowhere,” I mumbled, refusing to move my eyes off the dark, hardwood floors beneath my feet.
“Nowhere? That’s all you have to say to me? You’ve been gone all fucking night, and you’re going to stand there and tell me you’ve been nowhere , you little shit?”
My heart began beating frantically as his voice continued to rise. I knew what was coming, and no matter how many times I had to experience his rage, I still hadn’t grown used to it. Just as I’d told Freya the night before, the things we experienced because of our parents weren’t things we should ever have to get used to. “I was down on the beach,” I lied. “I couldn’t sleep and wanted to clear my head.” There was no way I was going to admit I’d spent the majority of the night with Freya. The last thing I wanted was to put her on Charles Owens’ radar.
“You needed to clear your head.” He drew out each word slowly, like he was trying to wrap his brain around what I’d
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