down my cheeks. “I guess I owe you an apology too. For leaving without saying goodbye.”
“And I owe you many apologizes. For taking away your choice to be raised with your birth father, for hiding your true nature.”
“But apologies don’t change anything. They don’t change the past.”
“And they certainly don’t change the future.” Mom pulled me into the hug. “How about we focus on the future?”
“I’d like that.” I held onto her, needing her familiar smell and feel. Despite the time we’d spent apart, she still had to ability to make me feel safe and loved. I guess a mother always had that. After a few moments I stepped back and immediately changed the subject. I needed to stop the tears. “Are those the gardens?” I pointed to tall wooden fences with ivy growing over them.
“Yes, here we are.” She stepped through a small opening in the fence. “Ready for a tour?”
“Sure.” Compared to everything else, touring the gardens didn’t seem too bad.
Mom wound her way through rows of plants, pointing out the different herbs and vegetables and introducing a few people along the way. They each smiled politely, and most shook my hand. I tried to pay attention, but I knew I’d never remember all the names.
Finally she stopped in front of a row toward the back of the gardens. “Don’t forget to grab a tomato for Jared.”
I looked down, and sure enough it was a row of tomato plants.
“Could I try to help?” I needed to get my hands dirty. There was something about working with the earth that came so naturally to me. I was sure it was part of being a bear.
“Of course.” My mom nodded. “Slade?”
A youngish guy, who was either in his late twenties or early thirties looked up from his work. He brushed off some dirt from his pants before standing up. He bowed his head slightly. “Hello, Taliana.”
“There is no reason to be formal. This is my daughter, Vera. Would you mind an extra hand? She’d like to help.”
He grinned. “Sure thing, Vera. I’m Slade.” He held out his hand.
I accepted the handshake. “Nice to meet you.”
He handed me a trowel. “We’re planting tomatoes.”
“I assumed that.” Mom glared at me, so I backtracked. “But thanks for making sure I knew.”
Mom smiled. “I’m going to stop by and see a few people. I’ll come by this way before I head back.”
“Sounds great.” For better or worse, a wave of relief washed over me when she walked away. I knew she was hiding stuff from me, and keeping my mouth shut was harder than I expected. I was used to saying exactly what was on my mind.
“You’ve done this before.” Slade wasn’t asking a question.
“Yes. Growing up.” Mom had always loved her garden. I’d spent many of my childhood weekends helping her. Everything changed when I reached my teens. I felt lost, and I knew something was different about me. Looking back I now knew it was because my body was begging to shift. There’s only so long you can hold off the first change.
“You won’t have to take a job, but we’d love to have you here.” He seemed nervous, like asking was somehow inappropriate.
“Take a job when?”
“Anytime I guess. But like I said, I know you don’t actually have to.”
“I’m not really staying.” Maybe that fell under the giving away too much information category, but it seemed silly to lie.
“You’re not?” He set down his trowel. “You can’t be serious.”
“I am.”
“You’d give up your place in the line and abandon Norco even if it left us to complete ruin?” He brushed his brown hair away from his eyes.
“Uh, I didn’t say that.” Now I was really going to get myself in trouble.
“Taking a sabbatical, sure, but may I speak freely?”
“Aren’t you already?” What was with the guys here asking that question?
“You’re already in your twenties, are you not?”
“Yes.”
“Aren’t you ready to pick your mate? You’re not getting younger.”
My trowel flew
“And I owe you many apologizes. For taking away your choice to be raised with your birth father, for hiding your true nature.”
“But apologies don’t change anything. They don’t change the past.”
“And they certainly don’t change the future.” Mom pulled me into the hug. “How about we focus on the future?”
“I’d like that.” I held onto her, needing her familiar smell and feel. Despite the time we’d spent apart, she still had to ability to make me feel safe and loved. I guess a mother always had that. After a few moments I stepped back and immediately changed the subject. I needed to stop the tears. “Are those the gardens?” I pointed to tall wooden fences with ivy growing over them.
“Yes, here we are.” She stepped through a small opening in the fence. “Ready for a tour?”
“Sure.” Compared to everything else, touring the gardens didn’t seem too bad.
Mom wound her way through rows of plants, pointing out the different herbs and vegetables and introducing a few people along the way. They each smiled politely, and most shook my hand. I tried to pay attention, but I knew I’d never remember all the names.
Finally she stopped in front of a row toward the back of the gardens. “Don’t forget to grab a tomato for Jared.”
I looked down, and sure enough it was a row of tomato plants.
“Could I try to help?” I needed to get my hands dirty. There was something about working with the earth that came so naturally to me. I was sure it was part of being a bear.
“Of course.” My mom nodded. “Slade?”
A youngish guy, who was either in his late twenties or early thirties looked up from his work. He brushed off some dirt from his pants before standing up. He bowed his head slightly. “Hello, Taliana.”
“There is no reason to be formal. This is my daughter, Vera. Would you mind an extra hand? She’d like to help.”
He grinned. “Sure thing, Vera. I’m Slade.” He held out his hand.
I accepted the handshake. “Nice to meet you.”
He handed me a trowel. “We’re planting tomatoes.”
“I assumed that.” Mom glared at me, so I backtracked. “But thanks for making sure I knew.”
Mom smiled. “I’m going to stop by and see a few people. I’ll come by this way before I head back.”
“Sounds great.” For better or worse, a wave of relief washed over me when she walked away. I knew she was hiding stuff from me, and keeping my mouth shut was harder than I expected. I was used to saying exactly what was on my mind.
“You’ve done this before.” Slade wasn’t asking a question.
“Yes. Growing up.” Mom had always loved her garden. I’d spent many of my childhood weekends helping her. Everything changed when I reached my teens. I felt lost, and I knew something was different about me. Looking back I now knew it was because my body was begging to shift. There’s only so long you can hold off the first change.
“You won’t have to take a job, but we’d love to have you here.” He seemed nervous, like asking was somehow inappropriate.
“Take a job when?”
“Anytime I guess. But like I said, I know you don’t actually have to.”
“I’m not really staying.” Maybe that fell under the giving away too much information category, but it seemed silly to lie.
“You’re not?” He set down his trowel. “You can’t be serious.”
“I am.”
“You’d give up your place in the line and abandon Norco even if it left us to complete ruin?” He brushed his brown hair away from his eyes.
“Uh, I didn’t say that.” Now I was really going to get myself in trouble.
“Taking a sabbatical, sure, but may I speak freely?”
“Aren’t you already?” What was with the guys here asking that question?
“You’re already in your twenties, are you not?”
“Yes.”
“Aren’t you ready to pick your mate? You’re not getting younger.”
My trowel flew
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