the nurses and see if we can find out more about what’s going on.’
‘Can do that myself, thanks.’
‘I’m only trying to help.’
Something about the way she said it made me see red. Before I could think better of it, I said, ‘That makes a change.’
Mum went quiet. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Oh come on, Mum! You weren’t too concerned about how upset I was last night. You’re only being nice now cos it’s convenient. Let’s face it – you never notice
anything to do with me or Benno unless it suits. When was the last time you said, “Well done,” to either of us?’
‘That’s not true,’ Mum began, but I carried on.
‘When we have problems, they’re not “important”. You don’t have the time, you’re tired, we should take care of ourselves. Fine, I can, but Benno’s only
eleven. I’m more of a mum to him than you are!’
Mum’s expression showed no hint of emotion. The only sign that I’d got through was her hand. It moved from the banister to smooth down her dress. ‘What exactly are you trying
to say, Imogen?’
‘Think about it. It’s not that hard. On top of this, you’re a hypocrite. Dad too, though he’s practically the invisible man these days. We all know what happened back in
Kent, when Dad went away for a few months. You’re not these perfect people you pretend you are.’
‘I’m going to ignore this,’ Mum said, very slowly. ‘You’re upset, and when you’re upset it’s very easy to lash out at those closest to you
–’
Stop talking to me like you’re a counsellor! I thought. I’m telling you what’s wrong and you’re not hearing. Even as I spoke, I knew what I was saying would really hurt
her. ‘That would be you? Sure.’
‘I think you should go before this gets worse,’ Mum said. ‘When you come back, you can apologize, and we can talk like grown-ups. I don’t expect stroppy, immature
behaviour from you, Imogen.’
Yeah, that’s right, I thought. I’m just throwing a silly strop. Forget that I’m pretty much a model daughter who never complains, who’d never act like this unless she
meant it.
Dad appeared at the top of the stairs. ‘What’s going on?’
‘Nothing you need to get involved with, Andrew,’ Mum snapped. ‘Imogen’s just leaving.’
Dad looked between us. ‘Do you want to talk, Immy? Would that help?’
I shook my head. I was too mad to talk and I doubted Dad would understand. Mum really didn’t know me at all. I could have said all this, but sometimes you reach a level of anger where the
only thing you can do is leave.
By the time I got to Whipps Cross Hospital it was early afternoon. The wards were confusing and it took me a while to find Nadina. I felt awkward as the nurse showed me to her
bed.
Nads was lying propped up by pillows with her mum holding her hand. I’d seen loads of other members of her vast family in one of the waiting rooms. I managed not to wince. I’d known
she’d look bad but this was proper rough. Her face was bloated and swollen. I could tell there’d been blood around her mouth and one ear. Her jaw was heavily bandaged.
Nadina’s eyes met mine. I waved. Nads raised her free hand and pointed to her mouth, shaking her head.
‘Change to see you speechless,’ I said. ‘Better make the most of it while it lasts, eh?’
Nadina flipped her finger at me.
‘Enough, no jokes,’ Nadina’s mother scolded. She explained that laughing was the worst thing Nadina could do right now. The surgeons had placed wires in her jaw and bound it in
place. The bandages would be off in a day or two, and the wires in six weeks – but laughing or chewing or shouting might cause problems.
She went out to get a hot drink, leaving us alone.
I settled into her chair and cleared my throat. ‘Gutted this has happened to you, babe,’ I said in a low voice. I wasn’t sure why I was whispering. Because I felt weird being
this touchy-feely? ‘Us being friends is really important to me, y’know?
‘Can do that myself, thanks.’
‘I’m only trying to help.’
Something about the way she said it made me see red. Before I could think better of it, I said, ‘That makes a change.’
Mum went quiet. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Oh come on, Mum! You weren’t too concerned about how upset I was last night. You’re only being nice now cos it’s convenient. Let’s face it – you never notice
anything to do with me or Benno unless it suits. When was the last time you said, “Well done,” to either of us?’
‘That’s not true,’ Mum began, but I carried on.
‘When we have problems, they’re not “important”. You don’t have the time, you’re tired, we should take care of ourselves. Fine, I can, but Benno’s only
eleven. I’m more of a mum to him than you are!’
Mum’s expression showed no hint of emotion. The only sign that I’d got through was her hand. It moved from the banister to smooth down her dress. ‘What exactly are you trying
to say, Imogen?’
‘Think about it. It’s not that hard. On top of this, you’re a hypocrite. Dad too, though he’s practically the invisible man these days. We all know what happened back in
Kent, when Dad went away for a few months. You’re not these perfect people you pretend you are.’
‘I’m going to ignore this,’ Mum said, very slowly. ‘You’re upset, and when you’re upset it’s very easy to lash out at those closest to you
–’
Stop talking to me like you’re a counsellor! I thought. I’m telling you what’s wrong and you’re not hearing. Even as I spoke, I knew what I was saying would really hurt
her. ‘That would be you? Sure.’
‘I think you should go before this gets worse,’ Mum said. ‘When you come back, you can apologize, and we can talk like grown-ups. I don’t expect stroppy, immature
behaviour from you, Imogen.’
Yeah, that’s right, I thought. I’m just throwing a silly strop. Forget that I’m pretty much a model daughter who never complains, who’d never act like this unless she
meant it.
Dad appeared at the top of the stairs. ‘What’s going on?’
‘Nothing you need to get involved with, Andrew,’ Mum snapped. ‘Imogen’s just leaving.’
Dad looked between us. ‘Do you want to talk, Immy? Would that help?’
I shook my head. I was too mad to talk and I doubted Dad would understand. Mum really didn’t know me at all. I could have said all this, but sometimes you reach a level of anger where the
only thing you can do is leave.
By the time I got to Whipps Cross Hospital it was early afternoon. The wards were confusing and it took me a while to find Nadina. I felt awkward as the nurse showed me to her
bed.
Nads was lying propped up by pillows with her mum holding her hand. I’d seen loads of other members of her vast family in one of the waiting rooms. I managed not to wince. I’d known
she’d look bad but this was proper rough. Her face was bloated and swollen. I could tell there’d been blood around her mouth and one ear. Her jaw was heavily bandaged.
Nadina’s eyes met mine. I waved. Nads raised her free hand and pointed to her mouth, shaking her head.
‘Change to see you speechless,’ I said. ‘Better make the most of it while it lasts, eh?’
Nadina flipped her finger at me.
‘Enough, no jokes,’ Nadina’s mother scolded. She explained that laughing was the worst thing Nadina could do right now. The surgeons had placed wires in her jaw and bound it in
place. The bandages would be off in a day or two, and the wires in six weeks – but laughing or chewing or shouting might cause problems.
She went out to get a hot drink, leaving us alone.
I settled into her chair and cleared my throat. ‘Gutted this has happened to you, babe,’ I said in a low voice. I wasn’t sure why I was whispering. Because I felt weird being
this touchy-feely? ‘Us being friends is really important to me, y’know?
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