Saving Jessica by Lurlene McDaniel

making it far harder to hide than the internal fistula. “It’s ugly, Jeremy. I hate it. And it’ll probably get infected. Why not? Nothing else’s gone right for me.”
    “But at least it’ll be easier to get the needles from the dialyzer into you,” he reminded her. “You won’t have to get stuck every time.”
    She wasn’t consoled. “I feel like I’m starting back at square one, Jeremy. Like I’m in a terrible game that makes me start over just when I think I’m on top of it.”
    “But even with the external shunt, you can go home after the surgery and go back to your regular dialysis schedule.”
    The concern she saw in his dark eyes touched her deeply, and she regretted having unloaded on him. “Oh my gosh, Jeremy. The hearing! The hearing was today in juvenile court. You went through the whole thing for me, and I was having such a pity party that I didn’t even ask about it. How did it go?”
    “You weren’t having a pity party,” he countered. “You’re in the hospital. I think you’re entitled to be upset. The second I heard, I rushed right over. Where’re your parents?”
    “I made them go to the cafeteria. Mom’s so uptight she might have to check into a room herself.” Jessica sniffed and offered a wan smile. “I worry about them both, you know.” She took Jeremy’s hand. “Tell me what happened today.”
    He looked down at their joined hands, and she realized that because he was avoiding the subject, the hearing must not have gone well. She braced for his news.
    “My father and his attorney ate us for lunch,” Jeremy confessed quietly.
    She felt another wave of depression. “So we lost.”
    He took her face between his palms and said fiercely, “We may have lost the battle, but not the war. We’re not giving up, Jessie.”
    “Tell me all about it.”
    He did. “The judge wouldn’t even let me speak except to answer his dumb questions,” he concluded. “He made me feel like I was some sort of spoiled, snotty-nosed kid who didn’t know that I was well off. Geez, I know I’ve got good parents. That’s not what this is about. It’s about my parents allowing me to do what I want with my own body.”
    He looked disgusted, and she felt so dismal, so defeated that she could hardly stand to have him look at her. “What’s the use of fighting?” she asked.
    “Because I’ve got a good case. Jake and Fran both think I can win if we go before a federal judge.”
    “But the last case took a month to be heard.”
    He nodded. “And getting a hearing set before a federal judge can take longer, but we’ll file for extreme hardship like we did before. Maybe this judge will be more understanding, more favorable.”
    She shook her head. “Your father will only appeal the decision if you win.”
    “If he does, we’ll go to a higher court. We’ll go all the way to the Supreme Court if we have to.”
    She wasn’t encouraged. “Don’t you see, Jeremy, this could drag on for years.”
    He didn’t say anything, and she knew her assessment was correct.
    “I may not have years,” she told him quietly.
    He pulled her against his chest. “Don’t saythat, Jessie. Don’t ever say that. We’ll find a way through this.”
    She allowed him to reassure her without argument, but she didn’t feel hopeful in the least. They were two kids up against a world of powerful and knowledgeable adults who were convinced that they knew what was best for all concerned. But she didn’t want to let on to Jeremy how defeated she felt. He was trying so hard.
    She pushed away and changed the subject. “Another thing’s got me down too. All my friends are packing and buying stuff for their dorm rooms, getting ready to go off to college. I was supposed to start classes too, but now I don’t think I can hack freshman orientation, new class work and dialysis.”
    “Yeah,” he said glumly. “I was hoping you could start in September like all your friends. Maybe things will be better by second term.