work large plots and are managing. There are many subsistence farmers who scrape by. Far more have made the attempt and failed. And this new world punishes failure harshly.”
“What about ranching?”
“A slightly more viable option. Slightly.”
“And here I thought they were doing brisk business out there.”
“I am not saying the land is not productive. It is. I am simply saying it is not nearly as easy as some would have you believe. You have done well for yourself here in Hollow Rock. I suggest you stay.”
I stared at him in silence. Gabe gave me a funny look. I said, “You’re probably right,” and turned my attention back to my stew.
ELEVEN
I got home late.
Allison was getting ready for bed. She met me in the kitchen and put her arms around me. I hugged her back and said, “Honey, I love you, but if I don’t eat this sandwich my stomach will climb out and eat it for me.”
She let go and leaned against the counter. “So when do you leave?”
“Three days.”
I put leftover chicken, lettuce, and hard white cheese on flatbread, folded it, and took a bite. Now that I did not live in a world overrun with salt, fat, and every spice known to man, I found I had learned to appreciate the more subtle tastes of natural food.
“That’s not much time.”
I let out a sigh. “No it isn’t.”
“So tell me about the secret government operative.”
“Turns out it’s not such a big secret. I bet you can guess who he is.”
“Based on what?”
“I’ve worked with him before.”
“Hm. Grabovsky?”
“Good guess, but no.”
She tapped a slender finger against her lips. I found it distracting. Her lips were very interesting. “Is it Great Hawk?”
“Got it on the second try. Nicely done.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Nope. Surprised the hell out of me. I got to say, though, he seems to be going through some personal issues.”
“Really? Great Hawk? Does he even have feelings? I only met him once, but if he stood still I would have mistaken him for a statue.”
“Evidently he’s deeper than you give him credit for. He’s worried about his family in Arizona. Seems to think he might be the last of his people.”
“The Apache?”
“His sect of them, anyway.”
“Poor guy.”
I looked at my wife in amusement. Only Allison, she of the infinite compassion, would call a hardened killer like Great Hawk ‘poor guy’.
“And that’s why I married you.”
“Huh?”
“Sorry. Thinking out loud. How was your day?”
She closed her eyes, shook her head, and showed me the palm of one hand. “Don’t ask.”
“That bad?”
“I told you not to ask.”
“Yes you did.”
I poured myself a cup of water, took my sandwich into the living room, and sat down on the couch. The sandwich was gone in four bites. I washed it down with the cup of water and sat back. My eyes closed on their own and I felt sleep begin to pull me under.
“Hey.”
“Yes dear.”
“You just started snoring.”
“Didn’t realize I was asleep.”
Allison grabbed my chin and pointed my face toward the clock. “It’s been ten minutes since you sat down.”
“Son of a bitch. All right, let’s go to bed.”
Allison put the moves on me once the lantern was out, but it was no use. I was just too damn tired.
*****
The days leading up to a mission are strange ones. They go by in a blur. I tried to make the most of my time, but it slipped by so much more quickly than when life was relatively normal. I lay awake at night, usually after some gymnastics with Allison, and wondered what I could have done differently. If it turned out I was amidst my last days on Earth, had I used them like I should have? There was never an answer. What could I do but live my life as if I had a future? I had to assume the world was going to continue its warbling spin around the sun and I was going to be a part of it. If I did not, I would wind up doing the worst thing of all, which was nothing.
During the
“What about ranching?”
“A slightly more viable option. Slightly.”
“And here I thought they were doing brisk business out there.”
“I am not saying the land is not productive. It is. I am simply saying it is not nearly as easy as some would have you believe. You have done well for yourself here in Hollow Rock. I suggest you stay.”
I stared at him in silence. Gabe gave me a funny look. I said, “You’re probably right,” and turned my attention back to my stew.
ELEVEN
I got home late.
Allison was getting ready for bed. She met me in the kitchen and put her arms around me. I hugged her back and said, “Honey, I love you, but if I don’t eat this sandwich my stomach will climb out and eat it for me.”
She let go and leaned against the counter. “So when do you leave?”
“Three days.”
I put leftover chicken, lettuce, and hard white cheese on flatbread, folded it, and took a bite. Now that I did not live in a world overrun with salt, fat, and every spice known to man, I found I had learned to appreciate the more subtle tastes of natural food.
“That’s not much time.”
I let out a sigh. “No it isn’t.”
“So tell me about the secret government operative.”
“Turns out it’s not such a big secret. I bet you can guess who he is.”
“Based on what?”
“I’ve worked with him before.”
“Hm. Grabovsky?”
“Good guess, but no.”
She tapped a slender finger against her lips. I found it distracting. Her lips were very interesting. “Is it Great Hawk?”
“Got it on the second try. Nicely done.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Nope. Surprised the hell out of me. I got to say, though, he seems to be going through some personal issues.”
“Really? Great Hawk? Does he even have feelings? I only met him once, but if he stood still I would have mistaken him for a statue.”
“Evidently he’s deeper than you give him credit for. He’s worried about his family in Arizona. Seems to think he might be the last of his people.”
“The Apache?”
“His sect of them, anyway.”
“Poor guy.”
I looked at my wife in amusement. Only Allison, she of the infinite compassion, would call a hardened killer like Great Hawk ‘poor guy’.
“And that’s why I married you.”
“Huh?”
“Sorry. Thinking out loud. How was your day?”
She closed her eyes, shook her head, and showed me the palm of one hand. “Don’t ask.”
“That bad?”
“I told you not to ask.”
“Yes you did.”
I poured myself a cup of water, took my sandwich into the living room, and sat down on the couch. The sandwich was gone in four bites. I washed it down with the cup of water and sat back. My eyes closed on their own and I felt sleep begin to pull me under.
“Hey.”
“Yes dear.”
“You just started snoring.”
“Didn’t realize I was asleep.”
Allison grabbed my chin and pointed my face toward the clock. “It’s been ten minutes since you sat down.”
“Son of a bitch. All right, let’s go to bed.”
Allison put the moves on me once the lantern was out, but it was no use. I was just too damn tired.
*****
The days leading up to a mission are strange ones. They go by in a blur. I tried to make the most of my time, but it slipped by so much more quickly than when life was relatively normal. I lay awake at night, usually after some gymnastics with Allison, and wondered what I could have done differently. If it turned out I was amidst my last days on Earth, had I used them like I should have? There was never an answer. What could I do but live my life as if I had a future? I had to assume the world was going to continue its warbling spin around the sun and I was going to be a part of it. If I did not, I would wind up doing the worst thing of all, which was nothing.
During the
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