Safe as Houses by Simone van der Vlugt Page A

medicine cabinet and the next second I was standing over her cot with a pillow. Just as I started to press it on to Anouk’s face, Mark arrived home . . .’ Lisa’s voice dies away. She keeps her eyes fixed on the plate and the crumbs, so as not to catch the look of understanding and recognition in his eyes.
    It remains quiet, and after a while there’s nothing else to do but look up. Kreuger is leaning back with an impassive expression on his face.
    â€˜He put me into a clinic,’ Lisa says simply. ‘Not a forced admission: I went voluntarily. I knew I’d try again otherwise. I didn’t come home until I was cured, and then I learned how to enjoy Anouk.’
    â€˜So you didn’t tell me the entire story.’
    â€˜It’s nothing to be proud of.’
    Kreuger’s eyes fix on her. ‘But you can admit it to a disturbed criminal who murdered his own family.’
    â€˜Something like that.’
    Her honest reply disarms him. He gives her a hypnotic stare – it lasts so long that Lisa begins to feel nervous – but then suddenly he grins. ‘We have more in common than I thought.’
    â€˜I believe that many people have a dark side. And that there are few people who’ll admit how close they’ve come to the edge.’
    Kreuger nods. He believes it, Lisa thinks. That idiot really believes I tried to suffocate my child.
    The loud ringing of the telephone breaks the silence like a grenade going off. Lisa jumps up, and Kreuger is so quick to get to his feet that his chair falls over backwards.
    He grabs the house telephone, which had been clipped to his belt, and looks at the LCD display.
    â€˜Mum,’ he reads aloud. ‘OK, just pick up. And think before you speak: no hints, no cleverness, no secret messages. Just have a chat, get it? Not too long and not too short.’ He hands Lisa the telephone, adding, ‘Put it on speaker phone if you like. I know it’s impolite, but I’d really like to listen in.’

20
    The relationship between body and soul is a strange phenomenon. We know that the soul has a strong capacity to heal the body, but how exactly this occurs is still a mystery. It must have something to do with willpower, with the force you exert to get your body under control.
    If you believe that your body won’t obey you, how likely is it that your state will change? But if people can think themselves out of recovery, shouldn’t they also be able to think themselves better?
    Senta holds her breath and concentrates so hard on waking up that it gives her a headache. Then she opens her mouth and screams an order at her soul with all the air she has in her lungs. But the water absorbs her scream, leaving her only with silence. The black hole tugs at her, but Senta resistsand kicks frantically, like a drowning man on his way to the surface.
    And then, all of a sudden, she is up. When she least expects it, she shoots through the tough membrane that has separated her from the world all this time,
    She opens her eyes and looks around, breathing hard. A television hanging from a stand shows a ball game. A ray of golden light streams through the window, giving the room a warm glow.
    Very carefully, as though she might damage it irreparably, Senta lifts her hand and holds it in the sunlight. A pleasant warmth caresses her skin. Tears appear in her eyes.
    At that moment, a woman with a white coat and a stethoscope around her neck comes into the room. She stops in her tracks when she sees Senta.
    The next minute the room is full of doctors and nurses. They look at her and talk among themselves. The woman doctor with the stethoscope sits down on the edge of the bed, takes Senta’s hand and asks her how she’s feeling.
    With difficulty, Senta manages something that resembles ‘good’. It’s not much more than an ‘oo’ sound, but they seem to understand.
    â€˜I’m Lilian Reynders from