things got serious again for me, “But mommy, you got to realize that things happen and you can’t keep running and hiding when trouble comes your way. You’re supposed to stand tall and fight.”
“Oh wow, is this my fourteen year old giving me advice?”
“Yup, I do love you mommy, I just don’t like your ways.”
“I’m trying to change.”
She looked at me and asked, “Do you ever wish you can turn back the hands of time and redo some things over again?”
“Yes!”
“What?”
“To have never let you leave my sight.”
“But what do you think I can do now to make things better for you?” I asked.
“Just love me as I find myself all over again. I feel like I am still locked up somewhere, but with you I know I can find my way.”
“Ok I will do what I can to be there for you and I do love you.”
“Thank you baby,” I said as she hugged me. “So tell me about your new experience at school.”
“It wasn’t that bad, people are just weird; that’s all.”
“But were they mean to you?”
“No mom, they didn’t even talk to me; which is fine by me.”
“You’re just like your mother, very private.”
“Yeah I don’t like people in my face.”
“Me either. So you got any homework?”
“Nope, the first day we just get to know each other I guess.”
“You’re right. So are the boys already checking you out?”
“Mommy, we are not having that conversation,” she said getting up from the bed.
“Come on baby I just want to know,” I said pulling her back.
“I don’t know I wasn’t paying attention.”
“Ok, but you know you can come to me for anything right? And it doesn’t matter how bad it is, I will still be on your side.”
“Ok mommy,” she said as she hugged me again then left the room.
Chapter 6
In my junior year, I sat in class in front of a girl named Reggae. She had blue eyes that I admired, but she seemed to hate her own eyes. People always made jokes about her eyes saying they were fake and that she looked weird. She was dark skin with curly hair and with her ocean blue eyes, she looked quite exotic. I wanted to talk to her one day but she always had a tendency to run off right when the class bell rung and I wouldn’t run after her because I had a fear of her blowing me off. I had seen her around so much, but I never once saw her smile. She looked angry all the time but I could feel this energy about her; that she had a place in her heart where she could be fun to be around. I was interested in getting to know her, I felt like I could understand her but I was still afraid to approach her. At times she sat in the cafeteria alone with a mean mask on her face. I was determined to woman up and step up to her after class or during lunch, wherever I saw her first.
The school bell rang and she zoomed out of class before the teacher could even finish her sentence. The students often made fun of her when she would run out so fast.
“Sorry Mrs. Hayden, her contacts are hurting her eyes,” the other students laughed.
“You don’t know if they are real or fake Ryan.”
“Come on I know your smarter than that, she’s black, black people don’t have blue eyes.”
“You don’t know that Ryan, her father might have blue eyes.”
Mrs. Hayden defending her, made me want to stand up for her too, but I became comfortable with playing an invisible role. I would wear baggy clothes so people wouldn’t see my shape and wouldn’t judge me for my physical appearance.
“Whatever, I still don’t think they’re real and that is my opinion,” Ryan said as he walked out of the class with his friend who also found it funny.
I went to my next class thinking of how to approach her. I wrote it down as the teacher was talking. I was completely tuned out from her class until I heard her call my name.
“Ella?”
“Huh?” the class laughed knowing I was not paying attention.
“What is the definition of ethics?”
“Oh, ethics are what we do on a
“Oh wow, is this my fourteen year old giving me advice?”
“Yup, I do love you mommy, I just don’t like your ways.”
“I’m trying to change.”
She looked at me and asked, “Do you ever wish you can turn back the hands of time and redo some things over again?”
“Yes!”
“What?”
“To have never let you leave my sight.”
“But what do you think I can do now to make things better for you?” I asked.
“Just love me as I find myself all over again. I feel like I am still locked up somewhere, but with you I know I can find my way.”
“Ok I will do what I can to be there for you and I do love you.”
“Thank you baby,” I said as she hugged me. “So tell me about your new experience at school.”
“It wasn’t that bad, people are just weird; that’s all.”
“But were they mean to you?”
“No mom, they didn’t even talk to me; which is fine by me.”
“You’re just like your mother, very private.”
“Yeah I don’t like people in my face.”
“Me either. So you got any homework?”
“Nope, the first day we just get to know each other I guess.”
“You’re right. So are the boys already checking you out?”
“Mommy, we are not having that conversation,” she said getting up from the bed.
“Come on baby I just want to know,” I said pulling her back.
“I don’t know I wasn’t paying attention.”
“Ok, but you know you can come to me for anything right? And it doesn’t matter how bad it is, I will still be on your side.”
“Ok mommy,” she said as she hugged me again then left the room.
Chapter 6
In my junior year, I sat in class in front of a girl named Reggae. She had blue eyes that I admired, but she seemed to hate her own eyes. People always made jokes about her eyes saying they were fake and that she looked weird. She was dark skin with curly hair and with her ocean blue eyes, she looked quite exotic. I wanted to talk to her one day but she always had a tendency to run off right when the class bell rung and I wouldn’t run after her because I had a fear of her blowing me off. I had seen her around so much, but I never once saw her smile. She looked angry all the time but I could feel this energy about her; that she had a place in her heart where she could be fun to be around. I was interested in getting to know her, I felt like I could understand her but I was still afraid to approach her. At times she sat in the cafeteria alone with a mean mask on her face. I was determined to woman up and step up to her after class or during lunch, wherever I saw her first.
The school bell rang and she zoomed out of class before the teacher could even finish her sentence. The students often made fun of her when she would run out so fast.
“Sorry Mrs. Hayden, her contacts are hurting her eyes,” the other students laughed.
“You don’t know if they are real or fake Ryan.”
“Come on I know your smarter than that, she’s black, black people don’t have blue eyes.”
“You don’t know that Ryan, her father might have blue eyes.”
Mrs. Hayden defending her, made me want to stand up for her too, but I became comfortable with playing an invisible role. I would wear baggy clothes so people wouldn’t see my shape and wouldn’t judge me for my physical appearance.
“Whatever, I still don’t think they’re real and that is my opinion,” Ryan said as he walked out of the class with his friend who also found it funny.
I went to my next class thinking of how to approach her. I wrote it down as the teacher was talking. I was completely tuned out from her class until I heard her call my name.
“Ella?”
“Huh?” the class laughed knowing I was not paying attention.
“What is the definition of ethics?”
“Oh, ethics are what we do on a
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