Ryan's Return by Barbara Freethy Page B

to do? Turn the other cheek?
    "I remember a time when you couldn't say enough good things about that boy," Dirk added.
    Jonas felt the anger rise in his soul. He didn't want to remember when Ryan was a little boy, when he had loved him more than he had loved anything or anyone. Ryan had turned on him with a vengeance. He couldn't forget that.
    "It's time to move on," Dirk said. "Let the past go."
    "When I want your advice, I'll ask for it." Jonas flung his trash bag over his shoulder.
    "I guess I'll be getting back to town." Dirk tipped his head at Jonas. "Watch yourself. The current is pretty swift in parts."
    "I know this river better than I know myself," Jonas said. "She won't hurt me." He wished he could say the same about his son.

     

Chapter Eight
     
    "Billy," Andrew called as he entered the house. A quick glance at the clock told him he'd have to hurry if he was going to get to the rec center by eleven as he had promised Kara. "Billy?"
    "In here, Dad," Billy replied.
    Andrew jogged up the stairs and pushed open the bathroom door. Billy stood in front of the mirror, a gangly, awkward boy of eleven who was trying desperately to slick his hair down. He had a head full of brown curls that he absolutely couldn't stand, and no matter how many times he tried to wet down his hair, the curls bounced back up. Billy had Becky Lee's hair. Andrew could still remember running his fingers through her hair. He blinked the disturbing image from his mind.
    "Oh, man," Billy complained.
    "Can I help?" Andrew asked.
    "No." Billy stared at him in the mirror.
    As usual Andrew didn't know what to say to the boy. Like his father before him, Andrew wasn't good with kids, didn't know how to show affection without looking silly. When Billy was a toddler, Andrew had left the hugs to Mrs. Murray, and as Billy grew up he seemed to expect less and less from his father. They were almost strangers now, sharing the same house, eating their meals in silence, occasionally watching a television show together, but that was it.
    Maybe Kara and Angel could bring them back together. Two halves into a whole. Mother and daughter on one side, father and son on the other. They could forge a family together. He wanted a family, sometimes more than anything on this earth. He just didn't know how to make it happen.
    His own family had fallen apart with Isabelle's desertion. His whole body tightened at the thought of his mother. She had ripped them apart. It was her fault. Everything was her fault.
    "Did I -- did I do something wrong?" Billy stammered, suddenly looking nervous.
    Andrew realized he was staring at his son with a ferocious, glaring expression. "No, of course not. I was thinking about something else."
    "About Mom?" Billy asked.
    Andrew started in surprise. "Becky Lee? No. Why would you ask me that?"
    "Because sometimes you look like that when you stare at her picture, the one on the mantel in the living room."
    "Do I? I didn't realize."
    "I miss her, too," Billy said. "Even though I don't remember her."
    Andrew stared at his son, realizing this was the first time Billy had ever said anything quite so personal. Andrew didn't know how to respond. He was inadequate when it came to words. He was a newspaperman; words were supposed to be his business. But it was far easier to write about city council meetings than to talk to his son about the mother he had never known.
    Andrew wanted to tell Billy that he understood, because he knew what it was like to lose a mother. Only, his mother hadn't died. She had left him. At least Becky Lee had taken Billy with her. She had deserted her husband but not her child. He could give her credit for that.
    "Do you want to use the bathroom?" Billy asked.
    "No." And the moment passed before Andrew could say anything more personal than that. "I'm going into town to help Kara decorate the rec center. Do you want to come with me?" he asked, almost as an afterthought.
    Billy shook his head.
    "It might be fun," Andrew added. If he