For just about anyone besides Riley, Noah would encourage the latter. He’d faced his own demons, and though it had almost gotten both him and Samara killed, in retrospect, he was grateful that the most painful part of his past had been settled.
But Riley? Riley was different. Would this destroy her or make her even stronger? After yesterday’s meeting, there was no other option. Whether she was ready or not, it was going to happen.
Apparently seeing the worry in his eyes, Samara hugged him tighter, now trying to reassure him instead. “She’s stronger now than she’s ever been.”
Noah acknowledged that truth with a nod. Yes, she was. When he’d met her years ago, Noah had never seen anyone more beaten down or broken. At that first meeting, he’d feared that she would barely be able to function as a human being, much less have a reasonably normal life. She had surprised the hell out of him and Mara at every turn. Not only had Riley recovered her spirit and her courage, she had become a force to be reckoned with—a formidable opponent of evil. She might not be his most-skilled operative or his strongest, but what Riley possessed couldn’t be taught. And since her parents were, in his opinion, the spawns of Satan, she’d definitely not inherited her strength of character from them.
“She is strong,” Noah agreed. His mind went back to several months ago. They’d been on an op to rescue Kacie Dane. He remembered the look of distress on Riley’s face when she’d seen the chains and handcuffs on the bed, her small moan of pain. In her time as an operative, she had encountered similarly horrific scenes, but that one in particular had brought a memory to the forefront.
What would happen to her when she was forced to confront the man who had inflicted those wounds on her soul, those scars on her mind and body? Would she endure, or would they lose her to the darkness?
He wished they had a choice or more time. They had neither. If what he suspected was true, all hell was about to break loose. He just prayed to God that it didn’t destroy Riley in the process.
***
Riley stood outside Noah’s office, feeling the need to remind herself once more that this decision was hers. It always had been. She could turn and walk away. No one would think less of her, especially Noah and Samara. They knew what she had endured, knew how far she had come. She knew they admired her. Though, in her estimation, much of that admiration was undeserved. She had overcome a lot, but every day she had to fight a battle not to succumb to the terror.
Having no roommates or lovers gave her the ability to hide certain facts. Such as, she woke almost every night in extreme panic. Not always from nightmares, at least not ones she could remember. But she’d often wake in a cold sweat, thinking that he had found her, that he would force her to go back with him. On occasion, she would wake in extreme pain, as if she actually felt the sting of the whip tearing into her skin. Other times, she would wake gasping for breath, the claustrophobic feel of imprisonment literally pressing the air out of her lungs.
But even more frightening were those rare nightmares in which she hadn’t really gotten away from him after all. That her life with LCR was merely a dream. That she would open her eyes and she would still be with the monster.
Most times, after walking around her apartment for a ten or fifteen-minute pep talk, she was able to go back to sleep, reassured that he had no idea where she was or what she had become. Occasionally, the pep talk didn’t work. On those nights, she forced herself to do something, anything to take her mind off her past.
No one knew that she often felt as though she were on the very precipice of a cliff, and with one slight nudge, she would fall into the deepest hell pit where he would be waiting to devour her. She fought her demons every single day. Probably always would.
So if she turned around
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