other than the damaged woman who wouldn’t recognize normal if it came up and kicked her ass. She had learned to live with her limitations. She told herself that her strengths far outweighed her handicaps. She could shoot like a pro. With some well-targeted fist strikes and kicks, she could bring down a three-hundred-pound man. Her logistical skills were excellent, and she could strategize an op to perfection. And when called upon, she could assume any role LCR set out for her to play. She had saved numerous lives and would continue to do so until she died. Those were the things she needed to concentrate on, be proud of. The other things were superfluous.
She bit her lip as she acknowledged the truth. No, those other things weren’t unimportant. Her feelings for Justin were real, as authentic as any she’d ever had. But he deserved someone who could be normal, not someone so messed up that the very words you’re beautiful put a cramp in her stomach and had her heart pounding in horror.
Dropping down into her kitchen chair, she propped her elbows on the table and buried her face in her hands. It had been so perfect until she’d messed it up. Never had she imagined a kiss being so wonderful. Why, oh, why couldn’t she have just let his words slide off her? He had meant them as a compliment. What girl didn’t enjoy hearing nice things said to her?
Disgusted with her indecision, she grabbed her keys and headed out the door. It didn’t matter. Either way, it was long past time to deal with her past. Hypnosis had been moderately successful. She would try that again first. Maybe there were new techniques that would work better for her. If that failed, drugs were her only other option. She would do what she had to do. The nightmare at the cabin had been one of the worst she’d had in years. Maybe if she finally remembered everything and was able to bring the sick, twisted fiend to justice, she could find some peace. Maybe she and Justin could—
She stopped that thought before it could be completed. No, she and Justin couldn’t. They were partners and nothing more. Romance and intimacy were for other people. Normal people. Wasn’t it just too damn bad that normal had never been part of her life?
***
LCR Headquarters
“Do you think you should give her some notice before she arrives?”
Noah gazed at Samara, who’d been pacing his office floor for over an hour. She showed nervousness now, but he knew when Riley arrived, she’d be the calm, supportive friend and counselor Riley needed. It was one of the many reasons he loved her.
“I’d prefer telling her in person. She didn’t return until last night. We’d already set up this meeting.”
“She’s going to be blindsided. Devastated.”
Noah held out his hand for Samara to join him at his desk. They’d been married a little over six years now, and not a day had gone by since then that his heart didn’t melt when he looked at her. His life had been far from easy before he met her, having gone through more hells than he could count. But he knew to his soul that if going through those same experiences again would lead him to this woman, he’d do it in a heartbeat. She had been and would always be his greatest blessing.
Settling onto his lap, Samara locked her arms around his neck and held him close. They were both unsettled. They had watched a traumatized young woman grow into a strong, independent adult. Her incredible strength had surprised them. Neither of them wanted to see her hurt.
“We knew she’d want to delve deeper at some point. And even though this isn’t the way I would have chosen, at least she won’t have to endure more hypnosis or resort to drugs. If this way works, we can find the bastards without putting her through additional trauma.”
Every LCR operative at some point made a choice to deal, or not deal, with their past. Some chose to go on as if nothing terrible had happened to them. Most, however, chose to confront their demons.
She bit her lip as she acknowledged the truth. No, those other things weren’t unimportant. Her feelings for Justin were real, as authentic as any she’d ever had. But he deserved someone who could be normal, not someone so messed up that the very words you’re beautiful put a cramp in her stomach and had her heart pounding in horror.
Dropping down into her kitchen chair, she propped her elbows on the table and buried her face in her hands. It had been so perfect until she’d messed it up. Never had she imagined a kiss being so wonderful. Why, oh, why couldn’t she have just let his words slide off her? He had meant them as a compliment. What girl didn’t enjoy hearing nice things said to her?
Disgusted with her indecision, she grabbed her keys and headed out the door. It didn’t matter. Either way, it was long past time to deal with her past. Hypnosis had been moderately successful. She would try that again first. Maybe there were new techniques that would work better for her. If that failed, drugs were her only other option. She would do what she had to do. The nightmare at the cabin had been one of the worst she’d had in years. Maybe if she finally remembered everything and was able to bring the sick, twisted fiend to justice, she could find some peace. Maybe she and Justin could—
She stopped that thought before it could be completed. No, she and Justin couldn’t. They were partners and nothing more. Romance and intimacy were for other people. Normal people. Wasn’t it just too damn bad that normal had never been part of her life?
***
LCR Headquarters
“Do you think you should give her some notice before she arrives?”
Noah gazed at Samara, who’d been pacing his office floor for over an hour. She showed nervousness now, but he knew when Riley arrived, she’d be the calm, supportive friend and counselor Riley needed. It was one of the many reasons he loved her.
“I’d prefer telling her in person. She didn’t return until last night. We’d already set up this meeting.”
“She’s going to be blindsided. Devastated.”
Noah held out his hand for Samara to join him at his desk. They’d been married a little over six years now, and not a day had gone by since then that his heart didn’t melt when he looked at her. His life had been far from easy before he met her, having gone through more hells than he could count. But he knew to his soul that if going through those same experiences again would lead him to this woman, he’d do it in a heartbeat. She had been and would always be his greatest blessing.
Settling onto his lap, Samara locked her arms around his neck and held him close. They were both unsettled. They had watched a traumatized young woman grow into a strong, independent adult. Her incredible strength had surprised them. Neither of them wanted to see her hurt.
“We knew she’d want to delve deeper at some point. And even though this isn’t the way I would have chosen, at least she won’t have to endure more hypnosis or resort to drugs. If this way works, we can find the bastards without putting her through additional trauma.”
Every LCR operative at some point made a choice to deal, or not deal, with their past. Some chose to go on as if nothing terrible had happened to them. Most, however, chose to confront their demons.
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