role. You’re never going to get that if you keep signing on to these superhero movies.”
I refused to give her the satisfaction of admitting she was right. I was desperate to do something that felt genuine. Playing a superhero was fun, but there’s no art in it.
“On the flip side,” she continued, “I can make your career vanish. You’ll be doing commercials for tampons and adult diapers by the time I’m done with you.”
“I just signed a three picture deal with the studio. I’m not going anywhere.”
“You think I can’t make that deal go away?”
“The studio would have to buy out my contract. It would cost them at least thirty million dollars to do that. They’re not going to drop that kind of money just because I bruised the ego of a publicist who thinks she runs Hollywood.”
“You naïve little bitch. Do you think you were Louis’ first ‘girlfriend’? We had another young actress all lined up for the part. She got arrogant and started making demands too. Good luck finding her now. I think she works at the mall in one of those kiosks that sell knockoff perfumes. Unless you want to join her, you’re going to learn to play ball. We’re going to do another interview. This time you’re going to stick to the script. You don’t utter a word unless it was approved by me first. Is that clear?”
“Crystal.”
“Excellent.”
As she turned to leave, I said: “There’s just one little problem.” She turned on her heels to face me. “I know Louis’s big secret,” I spoke loudly so that anyone within earshot could hear me.
If looks could kill, I would have dropped dead. She quickly approached me, grabbing my arm and pulling me out of earshot of the crowd.
“I can expose Louis,” I said.
“Your career is over if you do.”
“You said it’s over anyway. I’ve got nothing to lose.”
“No one will believe you.”
I laughed. “Are you kidding? I’m America’s Sweetheart. They’ll believe whatever I want them to believe.”
“Listen me to you little bitch, if you think-”
“Is there a problem?” Shonda said, stepping in. “You know I prefer to be present during all business talks.”
“We weren’t discussing business,” she lied.
“Is there a problem?”
“No. Everything’s fine.” Louis’ publicist turned on her heels and left.
“What was that about?” Shonda asked.
I shrugged. “Don’t ask.”
“Did she threaten you?”
“Of course. She’s pissed that I got more press out of the interview than Louis.”
“She’ll get over it. Today’s news lines tomorrow’s trash bins.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means the news moves quickly. No one will care about this- or your nude photos- in a week’s time. You just have to ride this out. You’re a strong girl. You fought your way up from nothing. We’ll get through this together.”
Shonda wrapped her arms around me. I hugged her back. At least I still had one person in my corner. I took a deep breath.
“Now,” Shonda said, “the producer of your next movie brought his niece. She’s a huge fan. Are you up for meeting her?”
“In truth, no.” Shonda gave me a look. “But I will.”
Meeting the kids, family members, nieces and nephews of people who work in the business is part of being an actor. You have to play nice so as not to piss off their wealthy, well-connected relatives. As it turned out, the producer’s niece was a sweet, shy twelve year-old girl. I found myself laughing and talking to her like she was my own niece. I suppose she reminded me of myself at her age. When she confided in me that she wanted to be an actress when she grew up, I felt sick.
“Don’t,” I whispered. “Be a doctor or a lawyer- anything but an actress.”
She laughed as if I was joking. I wasn’t.
Louis’s publicist showed up. I expected her to start trouble, but she put on a phony smile and asked to speak to me. I said my goodbyes to the producer and his niece, then followed the publicist
I refused to give her the satisfaction of admitting she was right. I was desperate to do something that felt genuine. Playing a superhero was fun, but there’s no art in it.
“On the flip side,” she continued, “I can make your career vanish. You’ll be doing commercials for tampons and adult diapers by the time I’m done with you.”
“I just signed a three picture deal with the studio. I’m not going anywhere.”
“You think I can’t make that deal go away?”
“The studio would have to buy out my contract. It would cost them at least thirty million dollars to do that. They’re not going to drop that kind of money just because I bruised the ego of a publicist who thinks she runs Hollywood.”
“You naïve little bitch. Do you think you were Louis’ first ‘girlfriend’? We had another young actress all lined up for the part. She got arrogant and started making demands too. Good luck finding her now. I think she works at the mall in one of those kiosks that sell knockoff perfumes. Unless you want to join her, you’re going to learn to play ball. We’re going to do another interview. This time you’re going to stick to the script. You don’t utter a word unless it was approved by me first. Is that clear?”
“Crystal.”
“Excellent.”
As she turned to leave, I said: “There’s just one little problem.” She turned on her heels to face me. “I know Louis’s big secret,” I spoke loudly so that anyone within earshot could hear me.
If looks could kill, I would have dropped dead. She quickly approached me, grabbing my arm and pulling me out of earshot of the crowd.
“I can expose Louis,” I said.
“Your career is over if you do.”
“You said it’s over anyway. I’ve got nothing to lose.”
“No one will believe you.”
I laughed. “Are you kidding? I’m America’s Sweetheart. They’ll believe whatever I want them to believe.”
“Listen me to you little bitch, if you think-”
“Is there a problem?” Shonda said, stepping in. “You know I prefer to be present during all business talks.”
“We weren’t discussing business,” she lied.
“Is there a problem?”
“No. Everything’s fine.” Louis’ publicist turned on her heels and left.
“What was that about?” Shonda asked.
I shrugged. “Don’t ask.”
“Did she threaten you?”
“Of course. She’s pissed that I got more press out of the interview than Louis.”
“She’ll get over it. Today’s news lines tomorrow’s trash bins.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means the news moves quickly. No one will care about this- or your nude photos- in a week’s time. You just have to ride this out. You’re a strong girl. You fought your way up from nothing. We’ll get through this together.”
Shonda wrapped her arms around me. I hugged her back. At least I still had one person in my corner. I took a deep breath.
“Now,” Shonda said, “the producer of your next movie brought his niece. She’s a huge fan. Are you up for meeting her?”
“In truth, no.” Shonda gave me a look. “But I will.”
Meeting the kids, family members, nieces and nephews of people who work in the business is part of being an actor. You have to play nice so as not to piss off their wealthy, well-connected relatives. As it turned out, the producer’s niece was a sweet, shy twelve year-old girl. I found myself laughing and talking to her like she was my own niece. I suppose she reminded me of myself at her age. When she confided in me that she wanted to be an actress when she grew up, I felt sick.
“Don’t,” I whispered. “Be a doctor or a lawyer- anything but an actress.”
She laughed as if I was joking. I wasn’t.
Louis’s publicist showed up. I expected her to start trouble, but she put on a phony smile and asked to speak to me. I said my goodbyes to the producer and his niece, then followed the publicist
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