Rough Play by Keri Ford

was or how she was doing it wrong. The only damn person in her life to judge her was…her. It had taken her years to reach that point and now what? Was she going to throw that all away for some guy?
    How could she have both? How could she continue with Jacob and keep what she’d worked so damn hard for? Something had to give. Something had to be shared and she wasn’t ready to give up her time and space and freedom. She certainly wasn’t ready to give up Jacob either, strange as that feeling was. Other than her worries and thoughts, he was easy in her life. What they had together was simple. If she could get her head on straight, quit thinking about his smile and his laugh. The soft way his knuckles moved up and down her back when they fell into bed together.
    Those memories and thoughts had never been an issue in the past.
    So far Jacob had remained good and separate in their relationship. At least, that was the vibe she got from him. Her though? Different story. Five weeks of seeing him daily, he’d managed to ease himself into her life when he wasn’t even around.
    Was miles away, as a matter of fact. And yet, here he was. As strong in her thoughts as if he was standing right next to her. She wasn’t sure what was worse. The goofy smile she could feel on her face when she thought of him, or the knowledge that she was thinking of him in ways that wasn’t at all like their temporary thing and couldn’t stop.
    She slid off the side of the trailer and walked to the dusty glove compartment in her truck. The wallet was at the back, on top from where she’d tossed it last time. It was something she’d opened twice in the last couple months. Something she hadn’t opened for years before Jacob.
    Instead of going for a peek at the money inside, she flipped through the photos. One of her with Santa. Another at her second birthday. A party she didn’t remember at all. She stroked her thumb across the gritty plastic holder. Across the image of the three of them all so happy. Dad who looked only slightly lit in the picture instead of drop dead drunk as she could only remember him. Her mother smiling. And she, leaning over her hot pink cake, puffed out pink cheeks, blowing out candles. It looked to be one of the best parts of her home life and she couldn’t remember it at all. Was this photo staged for friends? After the cake was eaten and the friends gone, did her mom return to being distant and her dad back to the worn spot on the couch?
    Or had they really been that happy?
    Flora didn’t know, would never know.
    “You say I never work and I find you sitting around on your ass when no one is looking.”
    She glanced up and found Jacob moving in and leaning on the cab of the truck. “You’re back!”
    She was off that truck seat and had her arms around his neck, pulling him in close, breathing his familiar scent and feeling his warmth. Enjoying every moment of it like the fool she was. Still couldn’t stop.
    “Maybe I should go away more often.”
    Heat flooded her cheeks, and her grip around his neck loosened. My god, she’d just launched herself at him. Would pulling away make her look like a bigger idiot than planting a kiss on him? She didn’t know. Didn’t care. Because she wanted that kiss and leaned in and took it.
    His arms wrapped across her lower back, just low enough that his fingers sat atop the curve of her ass.
    “And I was worried you wouldn’t miss me.”
    She caressed the back of his neck, along his short and prickly hairline. “I did have a pretty good thing going here without you around.”
    “Liar.” His mouth sealed over hers and she couldn’t stop the grin because yeah, she had been lying. She had missed him. Sometimes frustratingly so. Other times, just missed him. Regardless of her weird issues going on, they did have something nice happening. So long as she didn’t address the thrill zipping along her spine just because he was home. Or address any of the other thrills and chills and