then.”
She sidled by him and perched on the edge of the
chair. He sat down on the corner of the bed, folded his arms across his chest,
his gaze level and remote. She rubbed her lips together. “I’ve never shared
what happened that night with anyone, even my therapist,” she murmured.
When he said nothing, she gave a deep sigh. “You
have to agree that I didn’t have the best role models growing up, Jason. All I
knew about sex until I was about fourteen was that it was a weapon, a way to
taunt and hurt. I never saw any examples at home of what a real, loving
relationship should be. Sex Ed at school taught me the basics of reproduction,
but that was just the how to’s. We didn’t go to church, so I’d never learned
any kind of spiritual or religious perspective on sex and relationships either.
I was completely on my own.” She looked down at her clenched hands. “Because I
was fat, because I didn’t like myself, I didn’t have the normal boyfriend
experiences most girls have in school. I’ve never been on a date.”
He inhaled sharply. “Not even after you lost the
weight?”
She continued to focus on her hands, unable to
look at him, afraid that she might see pity in his eyes. “I was scared. By the
time I’d reached a point where I felt more comfortable and confident with
myself, I was almost thirty years old. I dreaded all of those inevitable
questions that can come up on dates, like how many relationships I’d been in,
had I ever been in love, where and when was my first time. You know what I
mean? I didn’t want to tell anyone that I was a virgin and the reasons why. But
I didn’t want to make up lies either and start a relationship on the wrong
foot. I just thought—I knew —that once I didn’t have that fear and dread
hanging around my neck that I could finally move forward, be more comfortable
and open.”
“So you decided to hook up with some stranger at
an airport hotel. How romantic.”
Maggie glanced up at him. He was glaring again.
She felt a stir of reciprocal anger. “It wasn’t like I didn’t put a lot of
thought into it. I was very cautious about the location and my safety. I was already
making plans to go to Denver the following week and take care of the matter
there. I didn’t expect Sarah to leave me alone at that hotel. The opportunity
presented itself and I took it.” Her tone was vehement as she matched his frown
with her own. “And I’m glad I did, Jason. Glad . I have no regrets.”
He shook his head. “What if it hadn’t been me?
What if it’d been some asshole who was rough with you?” His frown was stark
against his pale features.
Heart near bursting with emotion, she dropped to
her knees in front of him, tugged at his hands and brought them to her face.
“But it was you,” she said again. “Why agonize over what might have happened?
Remember what did happen. You gave me the most beautiful night, the most
wonderful memories of my life.”
His features relaxed. He traced his fingers over
her face. “ Did I, Maggie? I didn’t hurt you?”
Her eyes moistened. “No. You were so gentle with
me.”
“That second time…I was rough.”
“I loved every minute of it.”
He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, rubbed
his thumb against her temple. He swallowed. “I wish I’d known. I would have
done things differently.”
Her swelling heart forced all the air out of her
lungs. “Oh?” she gasped. “Like what? Everything seemed absolutely perfect to
me.”
He pressed a smiling kiss to her forehead, then
brushed his mouth whisper-soft over her eyelids. “I.” He kissed her nose.
“Would’ve.” He kissed one cheek. “Gone.” He kissed the other cheek. “Much
slower.” He kissed her mouth. His warm tongue traced the outline of her parted
lips before taking a leisurely dive inside, touching her own tongue in languid
inquiry as his thumbs stroked her cheeks in unhurried, gentle circles.
Maggie sighed into his mouth, savoring his slow,
hot
She sidled by him and perched on the edge of the
chair. He sat down on the corner of the bed, folded his arms across his chest,
his gaze level and remote. She rubbed her lips together. “I’ve never shared
what happened that night with anyone, even my therapist,” she murmured.
When he said nothing, she gave a deep sigh. “You
have to agree that I didn’t have the best role models growing up, Jason. All I
knew about sex until I was about fourteen was that it was a weapon, a way to
taunt and hurt. I never saw any examples at home of what a real, loving
relationship should be. Sex Ed at school taught me the basics of reproduction,
but that was just the how to’s. We didn’t go to church, so I’d never learned
any kind of spiritual or religious perspective on sex and relationships either.
I was completely on my own.” She looked down at her clenched hands. “Because I
was fat, because I didn’t like myself, I didn’t have the normal boyfriend
experiences most girls have in school. I’ve never been on a date.”
He inhaled sharply. “Not even after you lost the
weight?”
She continued to focus on her hands, unable to
look at him, afraid that she might see pity in his eyes. “I was scared. By the
time I’d reached a point where I felt more comfortable and confident with
myself, I was almost thirty years old. I dreaded all of those inevitable
questions that can come up on dates, like how many relationships I’d been in,
had I ever been in love, where and when was my first time. You know what I
mean? I didn’t want to tell anyone that I was a virgin and the reasons why. But
I didn’t want to make up lies either and start a relationship on the wrong
foot. I just thought—I knew —that once I didn’t have that fear and dread
hanging around my neck that I could finally move forward, be more comfortable
and open.”
“So you decided to hook up with some stranger at
an airport hotel. How romantic.”
Maggie glanced up at him. He was glaring again.
She felt a stir of reciprocal anger. “It wasn’t like I didn’t put a lot of
thought into it. I was very cautious about the location and my safety. I was already
making plans to go to Denver the following week and take care of the matter
there. I didn’t expect Sarah to leave me alone at that hotel. The opportunity
presented itself and I took it.” Her tone was vehement as she matched his frown
with her own. “And I’m glad I did, Jason. Glad . I have no regrets.”
He shook his head. “What if it hadn’t been me?
What if it’d been some asshole who was rough with you?” His frown was stark
against his pale features.
Heart near bursting with emotion, she dropped to
her knees in front of him, tugged at his hands and brought them to her face.
“But it was you,” she said again. “Why agonize over what might have happened?
Remember what did happen. You gave me the most beautiful night, the most
wonderful memories of my life.”
His features relaxed. He traced his fingers over
her face. “ Did I, Maggie? I didn’t hurt you?”
Her eyes moistened. “No. You were so gentle with
me.”
“That second time…I was rough.”
“I loved every minute of it.”
He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, rubbed
his thumb against her temple. He swallowed. “I wish I’d known. I would have
done things differently.”
Her swelling heart forced all the air out of her
lungs. “Oh?” she gasped. “Like what? Everything seemed absolutely perfect to
me.”
He pressed a smiling kiss to her forehead, then
brushed his mouth whisper-soft over her eyelids. “I.” He kissed her nose.
“Would’ve.” He kissed one cheek. “Gone.” He kissed the other cheek. “Much
slower.” He kissed her mouth. His warm tongue traced the outline of her parted
lips before taking a leisurely dive inside, touching her own tongue in languid
inquiry as his thumbs stroked her cheeks in unhurried, gentle circles.
Maggie sighed into his mouth, savoring his slow,
hot
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