science, too. Maybe we should ask the Beak Man if we could borrow his snot rag.”
“Jenny!” Lydia whapped me and laughed.
I was glad we were friends. Lydia could be so much fun. As we meandered back to the gym, taking in the sights, sounds, and smells, I thought, Science fairs are fascinating. Besides the food, there was more nerdiness concentrated in one locale than at a computer convention. I felt out of place. Not to mention out of my intellectual element. “Lydia, could I borrow your glasses?” I asked her. “I feel underdressed.”
“Huh?” she said, scanning her pink paisley outfit.
“Never mind.”
The judging had already started by the time we got back. “You’re next,” Mr. Biekmund said to us. “After the Cyber Stars.” He seemed nervous as a ninny. “Are you ready to go? Where’s Harley?”
“He’s resting,” Max said.
“Ps-psyching himself up,” Prairie added.
The Beak Man smiled a sick smile. “Good luck,” he said in a sniffle. “Have I told you how proud I am of you all?”
We all looked vacant.
“No, really,” he said. “You’ll each get an A in science this term. The Extreme Rat-o-rama is a super project.”
“Super,” I said as I eyeballed the squad. An A in science? That ought to shock my family. Shock therapy. Maybe that’s what we needed.
At the table next to ours, the three judges huddled around the Cyber Stars’ project. We wandered over to observe.
Hugh was explaining. “The male computer, Ken”—he blushed—”has a choice of responses to, uh, Barbie’s,” he mumbled, “questions. It’s like artificial intelligence.”
Ashley interrupted, “Except it’s not artificial. It’s real. They’re having a real conversation. First Ken asks Barbie to the big dance and she says yes. Or vice versa.” She beamed at Hugh.
He looked green. I think he was wishing she was artificial. I was, and that her batteries would die. One of the judges said, “Okay, let’s see how it works.”
Kevin switched on Ken. Melanie booted Barbie. Kevin keyed in, “H-e-l-l-o.”
Barbie said, on the screen, “Hey, you’re cute.”
Ken replied, “What’s your name?”
Wow, I was impressed. So were the judges, if their wide eyes were any indication.
Barbie said, “Will you call me tonight?”
Ken said, “What should I wear? Underwear?”
Huh? My eyes bugged out.
Ken added, “Are you my mother? Where is your hair?”
Barbie said, “I can’t find my brain. Who’s knocking on your head?”
Then they both started garbling garbage in unison. None of the sentences made sense. And they were talking so fast, it was giving me whiplash.
Barbie said, “Would you like to go to the bathroom with me?” and Ken replied, “I feel like barfing.” Then he did. For real. The computer made this totally life-like barfing noise out the back, right before it crashed and burned. Barbie beeped, blooped, and blinked. Her screen went black.
The crowd fought hard to control themselves. We didn’t. We hyena-howled hysterically.
If we weren’t already dying of laughter, Ashley and Melanie would’ve machine-gunned us down with their eyes.
“Thank you,” one of the judges finally managed to squeak from a suppressed giggle. “Very, uh, innovative.” The judges all marked their scorecards, or whatever they were using to grade us.
Ashley seethed, “Who put that sound in? Did you program that, Kevin? It sounds like you. I’ll kill you. I swear.”
I thought I saw Kevin smirk. Now you know why I think he’s a god.
We were next.
Chapter 19
T he four judges circled our table. Everyone else in the room jockeyed for position. Immediately Lydia started to explain our project. “I might’ve missed a few details because somebody stole my notebook.” She glared at Ashley.
“Just show us what you have,” one of the judges said.
Max retrieved Harley from his cage. Prairie and I looked at each other and gulped a big one. I could tell Prairie was nervous; her hand shook as she
“Jenny!” Lydia whapped me and laughed.
I was glad we were friends. Lydia could be so much fun. As we meandered back to the gym, taking in the sights, sounds, and smells, I thought, Science fairs are fascinating. Besides the food, there was more nerdiness concentrated in one locale than at a computer convention. I felt out of place. Not to mention out of my intellectual element. “Lydia, could I borrow your glasses?” I asked her. “I feel underdressed.”
“Huh?” she said, scanning her pink paisley outfit.
“Never mind.”
The judging had already started by the time we got back. “You’re next,” Mr. Biekmund said to us. “After the Cyber Stars.” He seemed nervous as a ninny. “Are you ready to go? Where’s Harley?”
“He’s resting,” Max said.
“Ps-psyching himself up,” Prairie added.
The Beak Man smiled a sick smile. “Good luck,” he said in a sniffle. “Have I told you how proud I am of you all?”
We all looked vacant.
“No, really,” he said. “You’ll each get an A in science this term. The Extreme Rat-o-rama is a super project.”
“Super,” I said as I eyeballed the squad. An A in science? That ought to shock my family. Shock therapy. Maybe that’s what we needed.
At the table next to ours, the three judges huddled around the Cyber Stars’ project. We wandered over to observe.
Hugh was explaining. “The male computer, Ken”—he blushed—”has a choice of responses to, uh, Barbie’s,” he mumbled, “questions. It’s like artificial intelligence.”
Ashley interrupted, “Except it’s not artificial. It’s real. They’re having a real conversation. First Ken asks Barbie to the big dance and she says yes. Or vice versa.” She beamed at Hugh.
He looked green. I think he was wishing she was artificial. I was, and that her batteries would die. One of the judges said, “Okay, let’s see how it works.”
Kevin switched on Ken. Melanie booted Barbie. Kevin keyed in, “H-e-l-l-o.”
Barbie said, on the screen, “Hey, you’re cute.”
Ken replied, “What’s your name?”
Wow, I was impressed. So were the judges, if their wide eyes were any indication.
Barbie said, “Will you call me tonight?”
Ken said, “What should I wear? Underwear?”
Huh? My eyes bugged out.
Ken added, “Are you my mother? Where is your hair?”
Barbie said, “I can’t find my brain. Who’s knocking on your head?”
Then they both started garbling garbage in unison. None of the sentences made sense. And they were talking so fast, it was giving me whiplash.
Barbie said, “Would you like to go to the bathroom with me?” and Ken replied, “I feel like barfing.” Then he did. For real. The computer made this totally life-like barfing noise out the back, right before it crashed and burned. Barbie beeped, blooped, and blinked. Her screen went black.
The crowd fought hard to control themselves. We didn’t. We hyena-howled hysterically.
If we weren’t already dying of laughter, Ashley and Melanie would’ve machine-gunned us down with their eyes.
“Thank you,” one of the judges finally managed to squeak from a suppressed giggle. “Very, uh, innovative.” The judges all marked their scorecards, or whatever they were using to grade us.
Ashley seethed, “Who put that sound in? Did you program that, Kevin? It sounds like you. I’ll kill you. I swear.”
I thought I saw Kevin smirk. Now you know why I think he’s a god.
We were next.
Chapter 19
T he four judges circled our table. Everyone else in the room jockeyed for position. Immediately Lydia started to explain our project. “I might’ve missed a few details because somebody stole my notebook.” She glared at Ashley.
“Just show us what you have,” one of the judges said.
Max retrieved Harley from his cage. Prairie and I looked at each other and gulped a big one. I could tell Prairie was nervous; her hand shook as she
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